


The Purple Shield

by blackimpala



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt, Established Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Fluff, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, Post-Season/Series 15, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:29:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 69,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24183661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackimpala/pseuds/blackimpala
Summary: In Spokane, Washington, Dean and Castiel finish a case with a powerful witch. Ready to go back home, they start driving back to the bunker, only to find that a big purple shield is blocking their way, not letting them leave.Forced to remain in that town, Dean and Castiel go to a cabin, where they will have to stay until the two of them find a way to break the spell with the help of Sam and Eileen, who are in the bunker, unable to reach them.In normal circumstances, Dean wouldn’t mind being stuck in such a lovely place with his best friend, but he is secretely in love with Cas and there is only one bed, so things aren’t going to be that easy for Dean.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 399
Kudos: 522
Collections: The Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here I go with another fic. This whole covid situation made me start writing again. Hopefully you'll like this.
> 
> I'll try to update at least every two weeks because I still have to polish the story.
> 
> As always, I apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes you may encounter. English isn't my mother tongue.

“Cas, now!” Dean yells after smashing a vase against the witch’s head.

The witch is distracted briefly, but she manages to throw Dean against the closest wall, making him fall onto the broken pieces of a mirror, the sharp edges leaving scratches and cuts on his skin.

In those few seconds, Cas manages to grab his gun from the floor. He stands up, aiming for the witch’s head but she turns around. Dean would have seized that moment to also aim his gun at her if it weren’t for the fact that his weapon is somewhere lost in the living room. Unfortunately he doesn’t have the time to search for it. Instead, he looks around to use something as a distraction so Cas can shoot her in the head with witch killing bullets before she has time to attack them again.

Before Cas pulls the trigger, the witch yells something and Cas is thrown away. He hits his head against the marble table, leaving a smudge of blood on its white surface.

“Cas!” Dean screams, watching how Cas falls onto the floor easily, falling unconscious.

The witch smiles as she turns to Dean, making him feel even more furious. He grabs the sharpest and biggest piece of the broken mirror, not caring about how it tears his palm open, nor how he can feel his hot blood running down his skin, and he throws himself against her, ready to end her.

She says something again and Dean starts suffocating. The air starts leaving his lungs swiftly, and he falls onto his knees, fighting to breathe but it is useless. She smiles wickedly, enjoying the picture of Dean slowly losing his life.

Until a bullet hits her calf.

The witch lets out a loud scream, letting go of her magic hold on Dean, who rolls onto the floor as he is finally able to breathe. He needs to do something against the witch, but he desperately needs some air first.

He watches as the witch turns around Cas, who is also on the floor, holding his gun. She starts saying something again, and this time a wave of purple appears out of her hands and reaches both Dean and Castiel. Before either of them can find out what that was, Castiel manages to shoot her in the head and the witch falls dead onto the floor.

“Are you alright?” Castiel asks, looking at Dean.

“Yeah,” Dean breathes. He walks towards Cas and kneels in front of him to take a better look at the wound on his temple. He holds his face with his hands and for a moment Dean thinks that Cas actually leans onto his touch. “This doesn’t look good. How are you feeling?”

“A little dizzy.”

“Shit,” Dean mutters. Then he stands up, ignoring the pain in his body. “Stay here, alright? I’m gonna grab some stitches from the Impala and I’m gonna close that wound.”

“We should—”

“Later, Cas. Now you need to be healed. The rest can wait.”

Castiel sighs. “Okay, Dean.”

Dean runs as fast as he can towards the Impala. His lungs still hurt, but he doesn’t care. He needs to heal Cas first. They are both wounded, but that wound on Cas’ temple is dangerous, and Dean isn’t going to let Cas lose more blood nor let his wound get infected. They still need to burn the witch’s body, but that can wait until Cas has his wound taken care of.

Once Dean has everything he needs, he runs back to the witch’s house, where Cas is sitting against the wall, waiting for him. Before Cas can utter any word, Dean is already cleaning his wound.

***

After Cas’ wound was healed, they both grabbed the witch’s body and burnt her in a graveyard, just in case somebody decides to bring her back.

Usually, after a case, they get in the Impala and drive back home, but the two of them are beaten and wounded. They still need to take care of some of their other wounds, and they need some sleep, so after the witch’s body is burnt and buried, they head back to their motel room.

“Sit on the bed,” Castiel says when he has closed the door. “I’m going to tend your wounds.”

Dean does as he is told, the mattress barely dipping under him. Usually motel’s beds have all kinds of sinkholes, but in this one, the bed is as hard as a rock, and it is really uncomfortable to sleep in it, but they are both beaten tonight, so they aren’t going to mind it. Hopefully.

“You should have let me take care of your hand in the witch’s house,” Castiel says as he removes the big band aid that Dean placed on his palm. It was a quick solution to his cut. It still hurt, but he could bear it. “I’m surprised you didn’t use masking tape.”

“I didn’t have any,” Dean snaps playfully.

Castiel looks at him with a glare, but there is a hint of a smile on his lips.

Carefully, the fallen angel starts to disinfect the cut. He later puts some gauze over the cut and then bandages Dean’s hand.

“Is it too tight?” Castiel asks.

“It’s perfect,” Dean answers.

Castiel hums. He keeps bandaging Dean’s hand and Dean starts feeling those pleasant tingles he always does whenever Cas touches him. Those hands can be rough and hard, but they are always so tender and caring on Dean.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean says when Castiel is finished.

“You’re welcome, Dean,” Castiel replies with a soft smile. Then, he proceeds to clean the cuts on Dean’s face. “Your cuts aren’t deep, fortunately, but you have quite a few.”

Dean hisses when the cloth touches one of his cuts and he pulls away. Castiel rolls his eyes at him.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me,” Dean protests. “It’s smarts like hell!”

“You’re being dramatic, Dean,” Castiel assures.

“My ass.”

Castiel rolls his eyes again and Dean glares him.

“Do you still feel dizzy?” Dean asks after a beat.

“No, I don’t. I’m feeling better. Although my body hurts from being thrown around the living room.”

Dean chuckles. “Same. We’re lucky we didn’t break any bones.”

“Indeed.” Castiel moves his hand away and takes a long look at Dean’s face, something that makes Dean blush slightly. “I think you’re done.”

“Great. Thanks. Now give me your hand,” Dean says as he grabs some gauze and bandage. “Your knuckles are raw.”

“They are not that bad.”

Dean gives him a skeptical look as he starts cleaning Castiel’s knuckles. “I don’t wanna know what raw must look like to you then.”

Castiel chuckles and then he hisses at the pain.

“Stop being so dramatic,” Dean mocks with a smirk.

“Shut up, Dean.”

That comment only makes Dean’s grin wider.

He works silently on Castiel’s knuckles until they’re completely bandaged. When he is done, he says, “There you go, buddy.”

“Thank you, Dean.”

“No problem.” He nods and then he starts putting all the stuff back in its place. As he does so, he notices Castiel looking at his bandaged knuckles with a frown. “Something’s wrong?”

Castiel shakes his head. “No. It’s just that I miss being able to heal you with just a touch of my finger. And also being able to heal myself faster.”

Dean swallows hard. Cas has been human for four months. It didn’t take him too much to adjust to being human. At first it was hard; he had to adjust to needing things like eating, sleeping and using the bathroom, but he was fast at that. He also had to adjust his fighting skills, because he still wanted to fight monsters alongside Dean and Sam, so he needed to learn the new limitations that came with a human body. Cas is still learning things about being human, but overall, he is doing quite well. He still struggles sometimes and he misses a few things about being an angel, but that’s all.

However, Dean still doesn’t know why Cas decided to become human. A month after Chuck was defeated, Cas announced that he wanted to become human and he did. It was a surprise to both Dean and Sam, but that was what Cas really wanted. It was his decision and his own terms. He wanted that, and he got it. He still has his grace stored in the bunker, but Dean doesn’t know why either. Dean doesn’t know how to start that conversation. He doesn’t know how to start so many different conversations with Cas, actually.

Now that Cas is living permanently in the bunker, Dean’s feelings towards Cas have only become stronger. He thought he couldn’t fall harder for Cas, but he was wrong. Having Cas around almost all the time is awesome, but at the same time it can be hard; his feeling are only intensifying, and it is getting really hard to hide them. Luckily, he has years of experience on burying his feelings.

He doesn’t think that Cas returns his feelings, though. He dares to hope, because through their history, there have been plenty of moments when it seemed that Cas could feel the same, but Dean doesn’t want to hope. After all, Dean is just a fucked up hunter with nothing to offer; Cas deserves much better than that. He deserves a good life, not the nightmarish one Dean is always in.

But even though his head knows that, his heart is still seeking Cas.

“Dean?” Castiel asks, and Dean startles at the sound of his voice. He got lost in his head. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. I— I’m just tired, that’s all,” Dean answers, casually. He rubs his face, to reinforce his answer. “We should get some sleep.”

“I agree.” Castiel stands up from the bed and he starts undressing, getting ready for bed. Dean quickly looks away, giving Cas some privacy while he undresses as well. It doesn’t take them too long to get into their respective beds. “Goodnight, Dean,” Castiel says before Dean switches off the light.

“Goodnight, Cas,” Dean murmurs as he closes his eyes.

The bed is awfully uncomfortable, but he is so tired that his body simply surrenders to slumber. Still, he can’t wait to be home soon.

***

“There you go,” Dean says as he hands Cas a cup of coffee.

Castiel grunts as a way of thanking him.

That’s one of the few things that Cas will never get used to; waking up and being a functional human being without drinking coffee. Dean has always been kind of grumpy when he wakes up, but at least he can utter words and be somehow awake; Cas can’t. He seems unable to form words unless he has caffeine in his system. 

Sometimes it’s kind of adorable in Dean’s opinion.

“Mornings are an abomination,” Castiel mutters.

“So you’ve told me a million times,” Dean says, hiding a smirk as he drinks his coffee. He got it in a cheap coffee shop in front of the motel. He is actually surprised by the taste. Not that the flavor is great, but he was expecting something that tasted like water with colorant.

Castiel takes a long sip of his coffee and sighs. “Have you called Sam?”

“Yeah, I just did. I sent him a text last night after we buried the witch to let him know we were fine and that we were gonna stay here for the night, but you know him, he prefers it when we call.”

Sam broke his leg in their previous hunt and had to remain in the bunker with Eileen while Dean and Cas headed to Spokane, Washington, for a case involving a witch.

“How was his leg?” Castiel asks after Dean offers him a blueberry muffin.

“Good,” Dean answers with his mouth full. Castiel glares him for that and Dean rolls his eyes and doesn’t speak again until he has swallowed his food. “If Eileen wasn’t there, he probably would be pissed off and complaining all the time.” He chuckles at that while Castiel rolls his eyes one more time. “What? It’s true. You know that, too.”

Castiel simply shakes his head.

“Alright, while you finish your breakfast and take a shower, I’m gonna go to the gas station and refuel baby,” Dean announces as he stands up.

“Did you already take a shower?” Castiel asks, frowning.

“Yeah. Some of us can wake up and be functional without coffee.”

“That’s Sam, not you.”

“Still, I’m way more functional than you.”

“It isn’t that hard to be more functional than me, so don’t feel so proud about that.”

Dean grunts. “If it weren’t for that coffee, you wouldn’t be so smartass this early.”

“I can still be smartass without coffee.”

Dean laughs at that. “Yeah, if grunts counted as being smartass.”

Castiel glares him.

“Just hurry up, Cas. We still got two days on the road ahead and I wanna be home soon.”

***

“Do we have everything?” Castiel asks as he gets in the passenger seat.

“Yeah,” Dean answers as he closes the driver’s door. “I checked the room just in case before we left.” He starts the car and drives away from the motel room.

“Doesn’t your hand hurt while you hold the wheel?”

“Not for now. It’s probably gonna feel stiff after some hours, but for now it’s doing good.”

“I’m glad,” Castiel says with a smile.

“You should thank my doctor. He did a good job on my hand.”

Castiel chuckles and Dean averts his eyes from the road to look at Cas and dedicate him a sweet and playful smile. Then he looks back at the road, enjoying the feeling of Cas sitting next to him and the sun warming his skin as he drives.

The road that leaves Spokane is almost empty except for a couple of cars. Dean likes it when there is no traffic. He could speed up so they could reach Lebanon sooner, but they aren’t in any rush. He feels like taking his time for now.

Suddenly, the Impala stops in the middle of the road, and a purple shield appears in front of them.

“What the hell?” Dean asks. He steps on the gas, wanting the Impala to keep moving, but the shield appears again and the car remains in its place, unable to move forward. “C’mon, c’mon, baby.”

The wheels keep turning, forming smoke against the tarmac, but the Impala remains in its place, held by the mysterious shield.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Dean mutters.

“Dean, park right back there, on the side of the road,” Castiel says.

Dean doesn’t question him and goes backwards a little and parks the car on the side of the road. As they both leave the Impala, another car passes by, but it is unaffected by the shield.

“Did you see that car passing by?” Dean asks, looking puzzled at Castiel.

“Yes,” Castiel answers, still looking at the vehicle in the distance. Then, he starts approaching the place where the shield appears, followed by Dean. He is soon forced to stop walking when the shield appears again. He touches it with his hands, and Dean does the same. Both try to push a little, hoping to get through it, but they are stuck behind it. “It affects both of us.”

“Looks like,” Dean agrees. They hear a few cars approaching the spot in different directions. Dean and Cas step aside and watch how all the vehicles pass by, unaffected by the shield. “I think it only affects the two of us,” Dean murmurs. He moves again until the shield appears and he takes a good look at it. “It’s purple.”

“Like the wave the witch sent before we killed her,” Castiel says.

“Yeah. But she’s dead. Once a witch is dead, her spells die with her.”

“Not always,” Castiel reminds him.

“Fuck.” Dean looks around, frustrated. “So what? Are we trapped in Spokane?”

“That’s what it seems. We should try to find another way out of town.”

“Do you think that’s gonna work?”

“No. But it will tell us the size of the shield and the dimension of the area we are trapped in. That might give us some type of information.”

Dean nods. “Yeah, okay. I drive and you write down where the shield appears. We’ll look at a map later and mark the places. Hopefully that’ll give us something about this fucking spell.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go with a new chapter! Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the comments, the bookmarks and the subscriptions :')

“So you’re trapped in Spokane,” Sam says over the phone.

“Yeah,” Dean grunts. They are parked in front of a Mexican restaurant. After driving through every single road that leaves Spokane in order to ascertain that they are indeed trapped, they drove back to town and parked in the first place they found. “A fucking purple shield appears and we can’t go through it.”

“But other people can?”

“Yes,” Castiel says. “Other cars and other pedestrians can go through it.”

“The witch threw us some spell before we killed her,” Dean adds. “She mumbled something, but I didn’t catch it. But some weird purple wave came out of her hands and it’s the same color as the shield. It can’t be a coincidence.”

Sam hums. “No, it can’t be. Do any of you remember any of the words she said?”

“Not really,” Dean says, looking at Castiel who shakes his head. “She almost killed us, Sam. We were more focused on staying alive and killing her than hearing her gibberish.”

“Yeah, I get it.” He sighs, sounding slightly exasperated. “Me and Eileen will try to find something in the lore, meanwhile, you two should get your laptops and try to find something too.”

“We could also go to Hell and consult Rowena,” Dean suggests, looking at his best friend.

“We don’t have any of the ingredients needed for that spell,” Castiel reminds him. “And I don’t think we can find them anywhere in this town.”

Dean grimaces. “Fuck.”

“Maybe I can contact her somehow?” Sam suggests. “I can’t go to Hell with a broken leg. Eileen could go on her own, but I don’t think that going alone to Hell is a good idea for anybody.”

“It’s not even a good idea when the three of us go,” Dean admits.

“Eileen and I could try to summon a demon and tell them to send a message to Rowena.”

“Do you think that a demon is gonna listen to either of you?”

“We won’t know for sure unless we try.”

Dean sighs. “Fine, but meanwhile try to find something about this shield spell and also think about other ways to talk to Rowena.”

“We’ll do.”

“Okay, great.”

“Thank you, Sam,” Castiel says.

“No problem,” Sam says. “I hope you guys don’t have to stay there for too long.”

“Yeah,” Dean mumbles in discomfort. He really wanted to go back home and be able to sleep in his bed and cook in their kitchen. But now they are going to have to go back to that awful motel room and spend an undetermined amount of time sleeping on uncomfortable mattresses and eating fast food. As he imagines that, something comes to his mind. “Hey, Sam, didn’t Rufus have a cabin somewhere here in Spokane?”

“Uh… Maybe? Let me take a look.”

“Hopefully it’ll be somewhere inside the shield.”

“Why do you want a cabin?” Castiel asks.

“We don’t know for how long we’re gonna be trapped in this town, do you wanna go back to that motel and sleep in those awful mattresses?”

Castiel grimaces in pain. “Not really.”

“Also, if we have a cabin, we can wake up at any time we want to and we can cook whatever we want to. Sounds better, don’t you think?”

“Much better.”

“Rufus didn’t have a cabin in Spokane,” Sam says, and Dean can’t help but groan at that. His dream of having a nice place to stay in for a while has quickly vanished. “But Jody has one.”

“What? Really?” Dean asks, once again feeling delighted about the possibility of not having to go back to the horrible motel.

“Yeah. It was her grandma’s. If I’m not wrong, the last time it was used was a year ago, when Claire was hunting in the area.”

“Awesome, we’ll call Jody to see if she’ll let us use it.”

***

After calling Jody and explaining the situation, she told them where the cabin was. Luckily, for Dean and Cas, the cabin is inside the shield, so they can use it without any problem at all. Given their luck, Dean was worried that the shield wouldn’t allow them to reach the cabin.

Dean parks the Impala in front of Jody’s cabin and he and Cas walk towards it. The cabin has a front porch with a wooden bench that has a few flower pots on each side. Castiel kneels in front of one and digs his fingers into the soil, until he finds the emergency key Jody told them about. He hands it to Dean after wiping it and Dean uses it to open the door.

The cabin is quite big. There is a kitchen with an oven and a big stove, as well as it has a table than can hold at least four people. There is a living room with a TV, a couch and a fireplace, along with a bookshelf that holds some books and movies. There is also a bathroom, with a big shower, a big sink and a clean toilet. And finally, there is a big bedroom with a king size bed and a big wardrobe.

“I have to agree with you,” Castiel says, looking at the bedroom and then at Dean. “This is better than the motel.”

“Told ya,” Dean says with a grin. “The place needs some cleaning, though, but it’s only dust.”

Castiel gets in the bedroom and looks at the bed. “Which side do you prefer?”

“Uh…” Dean starts to say, feeling how his cheeks immediately heat up.

They have shared a bed a couple of times, when they went on a hunt with Sam and there was only a room with two beds. But they have never been alone while sharing a bed, and that is something that Dean is freaking scared of. Having Sam there made things less awkward for Dean, because it meant that they had to sleep in the same bed because they didn’t have any other choice. But now it’s completely different.

“I— I was thinking about taking turns, y’know?” Dean begins to say, hating how nervous he sounds. “One night you sleep in the bed while I sleep on the couch and the next night we switch.”

“Dean, don’t be stupid. The bed is big enough for both of us,” Castiel says, giving Dean that frustrated look of his that shows he can’t believe Dean is actually saying something ridiculous. “Besides, I thought that one of the reasons to come here was to be able to sleep in a comfortable bed instead of on those rocks the motel called mattresses. I don’t believe the couch is going to be much different from those.”

Dean can’t argue with that logic. He opens his mouth to argue, but he can’t find any words to build an argument. Castiel looks at him with an amused look, waiting for Dean to finally run out of lame excuses.

“The right side,” Dean finally says, dropping his duffel bag onto said side of the bed. Castiel looks at him with a victorious smile. “Not a word.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Castiel replies, frowning.

“Your face did.”

Castiel simply rolls his eyes.

“We should go to town and buy groceries,” Dean says after a while. “But we should clean the place a little before that.”

“I agree. I don’t think it is healthy to breathe all this dust.”

***

Cleaning the cabin takes them a big part of the morning and they only stop to have some lunch. They eat some of the snacks Dean bought for the drive back home and then they keep cleaning the rest of the place. It’s not that dirty, but Dean likes living in clean spaces; it is a luxury they don’t usually have when they have to stay in motels, so Dean makes sure that every other place he has to be in stays as clean as possible.

When they are done cleaning, they drive back to the town and buy groceries for at least a week. Dean hopes that he and Cas don’t have to be trapped in Spokane for a whole week, but even if that’s the case, Dean doesn’t want to go to town all the time. They need to investigate and figure out what’s going on, which is going to take a lot of time and research, so it is better if they don’t waste their time going to town to buy groceries and supplies every single day.

By the time they reach the cabin, it is already dusk.

“What do you want for supper?” Dean asks as they walk inside the cabin.

“Anything that doesn’t take you too long,” Castiel answers as he places the bags on the table.

“Are you saying that because you’re worried about my well-being or because you’re really hungry?”

“Both,” Castiel says with a lovely smile that Dean loves too much.

“You’re a dick,” Dean chuckles as he begins to place some groceries in the fridge.

“It’s called being honest, Dean.”

“It’s also called being a dick.”

Castiel huffs. “How about some sandwiches? That way I can help you.”

“You want my special BLT?” Dean asks with a playful grin. His special BLT consists of two slices of toasted bread, bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese and one fried egg; it is one of Cas’ favorite foods.

“That would be perfect.”

“Alright. You’ll cut the tomatoes and the lettuce and I’ll do the rest. I’m not—”

“Letting me near the stove,” Castiel finishes, rolling his eyes and scoffing. “I know. You don’t want me to burn anything.” He lets out a frustrated sigh and keeps placing the food in the cupboards. “I don’t burn everything, by the way.”

“Yeah, you don’t burn the water in the kettle, but that’s ‘cause you can’t,” Dean teases smugly.

“You’re a dick.”

“It’s called being honest, Cas.”

Castiel playfully kicks his shin and Dean kicks him back, making both of them laugh softly. They look at each other for a moment, feeling happy, and Dean feels the urge to just lean in and kiss Cas. It could be so easy. But instead, he looks away and places the last of the groceries they bought in their respective places. Then, he grabs from the fridge all the ingredients he needs for their sandwiches.

***

After supper, they wash the dishes and then, they switch on one of their laptops and look for Spokane in Google maps. Castiel starts telling Dean the places where the shield appeared, and Dean, after taking a screenshot, uses an image editing program to mark with a dot every place Cas registered.

“That’s the last one,” Castiel announces. He leans closer so he can see the laptop’s screen, almost leaning onto Dean, who tries very hard to ignore Cas’ warmth and his smell of ozone and cotton. Somehow, he hasn’t lost that characteristic smell of his after becoming human. “Can you trace a circle to join all those dots?”

“What makes you think that the shield is a circle?” Dean asks, curiously. “It could be any shape.”

“I doubt it. The circle is one of the most common shapes in the universe. Not only does its shape enclose the maximum area in a perimeter, it also has a constant radius and a perfect and infinite symmetry. It’s the most efficient shape.”

Dean looks at him, impressed, and he only manages to say, “Okay.”

He creates a circle, struggling at first to get all the dots in the circumference, but after a few attempts, he manages to place the circle on top of every single dot.

“Done,” Dean says with a satisfied grin. “This is the area we’re trapped in.” They both look at the screen, taking a long look at the area inside the circle. “Whatever it is in the center of the circle should have to do something with the size of the shield, right?”

“It should,” Castiel agrees. “Can you mark what’s in the center of the circle?”

“Yeah.” Dean creates a few lines until they can see the exact spot where the center is. “Alright, this building here is supposed to be the center.” He reads the name of the streets and he goes back to Google maps, to see what building corresponds to that point. “And… It’s a fucking McDonalds,” Dean groans.

“Maybe there is something supernatural in that place,” Castiel concedes.

“I doubt that the witch ever stepped on a McDonalds. Did you see her house? She had all kinds of expensive stuff. I bet she thought that McDonalds was a place for peasants.”

“Maybe she thought that McDonalds was a good place to hide something because nobody expected her to step in that place.”

Dean remains in silence for a while, considering what Cas just said. “Okay. Maybe.”

“We should go there.”

“Yeah, sure. But tomorrow. It’s getting late.” He rubs his eyes, feeling tired and exhausted. “We should also check her house, just in case. I’m pretty sure there’s something in there that’s keeping us trapped here. I’m pretty sure that her place has whatever we’re looking for instead of that McDonalds.”

“What if she left spells all around her house like Rowena had in hers?” Castiel inquires. He leans onto his chair, and Dean immediately misses the warmth of his proximity. “You and Sam told me that her spells killed everyone who entered her house. Except for you and Sam.”

“We can’t risk that,” Dean murmurs. Maybe the house doesn’t have any spells, but Dean’s gut tells him not to take a shot on that. The witch almost killed them last night, and her spell is still trapping them in the town, so it is better if they treat the subject carefully. “Is there any way to see if there are spells protecting the house?”

Castiel makes a thoughtful face. “There might be a spell. The problem is finding the ingredients needed to make said spell. We have some of the most used ingredients in the Impala, but if there is a rare ingredient in said spell…”

“Yeah, it’s gonna be hard to get it,” Dean finishes, sighing. “But, even if we find a way to reveal what kind of spells the witch left in her house, how are we supposed to lift them? Nobody could break Rowena’s spells in her house.”

Castiel exhales sharply and he rubs his face, looking so human. “I don’t know. We should just take things one step at a time. For now, we will work with what we have. We will go to that McDonalds tomorrow to see if it has anything to do with the shield. We can also tell Sam to find a spell that can reveal if there are any dangerous spells in the witch’s house. Depending of the outcome of those things, we will decide what to do. We can’t keep speculating on these numerous hypotheses unless we have more information.”

“Yeah, you’re right, it’s just that—” Dean takes a deep breath, catching Castiel’s attention. “This situation sucks.”

“I know,” Castiel murmurs with a soft but tired smiled. “At least we have this cabin.”

“Yeah.” He looks around the place, grateful to have something that resembles a home and not a crappy motel room. “When we’re able to leave this town, we should buy Jody a gift or something.”

“I agree.” He nods and then he yawns. 

Dean smiles at the cuteness of it. “Let’s call it a night, alright? We’ll deal with all this shit tomorrow.”

“Wise decision, Dean.”

“I’m always wise.”

“Not always,” Castiel argues as he stands up and walks towards the bathroom. “You have a history of doing reckless things.”

“Takes one to know one,” Dean replies chuckling as he switches off his laptop.

Castiel grumbles something in Enochian and Dean rolls his eyes.

Dean stands up and starts walking around the cabin, making sure that everything is locked. There were a couple of symbols that Claire carved and painted to keep demons away, but Dean and Castiel also added a few more that left angels away too, just in case. Heaven is locked for now, while Jack tries to restore things and powers up Heaven. With God gone, Jack had to take his place and since then, angels haven’t tried anything, but Dean and Cas can’t get rid of their mistrust to angels; even if Jack is in charge of them.

“Something’s wrong?” Castiel asks when he steps out of the bathroom.

“No,” Dean answers. “Just making sure that we’re safe.” He turns around and sees that Cas has an understanding face. “You done there?”

“Yes,” Castiel says, stepping aside as Dean approaches the bathroom.

After relieving himself and washing his hands, Dean takes a deep breath and looks at himself in the mirror, trying to calm himself. He is going to sleep in the same bed as Cas. It’s a big bed, so there’s going to be some space in between them, but still, he’s going to sleep next to Cas. As much as he loves the idea, he hopes that his sleepy body doesn’t betray him in any possible way. The last thing he needs is to ruin his friendship with Cas. He still remembers how awful it was the last time Cas left. He eventually came back, but they couldn’t look at each other. Every time they talked they snapped at each other or got angry. They eventually fixed things, but Dean doesn’t want them to be like that ever again.

He takes a long deep breath and he leaves the bathroom and walks towards the bedroom. Cas is already wearing his blue plaid pajamas and his t-shirt, and Dean feels a mixture of being glad and disappointed about the fact that he didn’t get to see Cas getting undressed.

Still, he blushes because Cas’ t-shirt allows him to see his strong arms. The shirt is a little loose, because Cas doesn’t like tight clothes, so it hides the shape of Cas’ chest, but it reveals part of his collarbone, and it is more than Dean can deal right now or ever, so he quickly goes through his duffel bag and grabs his pajamas pants.

As Dean changes into his nightwear, Castiel gets in the bed and he lets out a pleased sigh that could almost be considered a moan. Dean turns around, hoping that his cheeks don’t get redder than they already are, and finds Cas lying in bed, with a soft smile on his lips.

“This mattress is wonderful,” Castiel explains when he notices Dean’s stare. “It’s as good as the one in the bunker.”

Dean chuckles and pulls up his pajamas. “After the rocks we slept on these past few days, any bed must feel awesome.”

“Those beds were abominations.”

“I ain’t gonna argue with that.” He gets in bed, and he can’t help making a similar sound like the one Cas made previously. “Fuck, I forgot what a good bed felt like.”

“And you wanted to sleep on the couch,” Castiel remarks.

“Shut up, Cas, and let me enjoy this.”

Castiel chuckles at that and he turns off the lights. He sighs happily and he snuggles under the covers. Dean can feel Cas’ body next to him and his warmth despite of the few inches left in between them.

“I believe we both are going to have a hard time leaving this bed tomorrow,” Castiel comments.

“Someone more than the other,” Dean sasses with a smirk.

“We’ll see.” And even though Dean can’t see Cas clearly in the dark, he knows that his friend is glaring him.

Dean chuckles and then lets out another content sigh. His body really needed a good bed to get some well-deserved rest, and he is pretty sure that Cas feels the same.

“Night, Cas,” Dean mumbles, feeling the sweet embrace of slumber slowly reaching him.

“Goodnight, Dean,” Castiel mumbles back.

Dean is pretty sure that he is falling asleep easily because he is tired and his body still hurts from the hunt. It seems his mind is doing him a favor for once in his life and is not overthinking about the fact that he is sleeping next to Cas, something that makes him feel great and safe.

His mind will probably make him overthink the situation next time, but for tonight, it is quiet, and Dean is thankful for that little peace as he falls asleep, hearing the soft breathing of Cas next to him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, the comment, the kudos, the bookmarks and the subscriptions :)

Dean wakes up but he doesn’t open his eyes. He feels warm, cozy and relaxed in the bed and he wants to savor that wonderful feeling for a little bit more. The sunlight leaks through the curtains, but it doesn’t bother him at all. He lets out a silent but content sigh and he rubs his cheek against the pillow.

He feels Cas’ breathing brushing his face, and tentatively, Dean opens his eyes. Somehow, the two of them rolled to the middle of the bed and faced each other, but there are still a couple of inches in between their bodies. Dean could move just slightly and their knees would bump together, but he doesn’t do so.

He looks at Cas, sleeping soundly, breathing evenly. His hair is a mess that goes into every possible place, giving him a wild look that contrasts with the softness of his face. Dean can’t help smiling at the fallen angel. He wouldn’t mind waking up like this every morning, but this is something he can’t have.

Slowly, he rolls onto his back and reaches for his phone, which is resting on the bedside table. He is surprised to see that it is past nine A.M., way later than any of them usually sleep. They need to wake up and start their day, but the temptation of remaining in bed is so strong. Still, he takes one last look at Cas and then he gets up, groaning at the loss of comfort.

On the bright side, his body doesn’t hurt at all. He slept wonderfully because of that comfortable mattress, and also because Cas was next to him, but he isn’t going to acknowledge that small detail; at least not out loud.

Dean walks towards the bathroom to relieve himself and then he walks to the kitchen to make some coffee and make some waffles, because there is a waffle iron in the kitchen. Jody is definitely going to get an amazing gift as a thanks for letting them use this place.

As Dean starts mixing the ingredients in a bowl, he hears Cas shuffling his feet on his way to the bathroom. By the time Dean is done mixing every single ingredient, Cas appears in the kitchen with his usual grumpy face.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Dean greets with a grin.

Castiel grunts and he grabs two mugs to pour coffee in them. He grabs one and takes a long sip before handing Dean his.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean says.

“Thank _you_ for the coffee,” Castiel says before drinking the bitter liquid again.

“I didn’t want to be the victim of your morning fury,” Dean teases.

“It’s too early for your jokes, Dean.”

“It’s almost half past nine. It’s quite late.”

Castiel grunts and then he watches Dean cut some strawberries for the waffles. “Are there any blueberries?”

Instead of answering him, Dean shows him the bowl. “I know that you like your waffles with strawberries, blueberries and some whipped cream, but no syrup.”

Castiel smiles timidly and his cheeks acquire a lovely blush. “Thank you, Dean.”

“No problem.” He mirrors Cas smile and he opens the waffle iron to retrieve the first two waffles and then he places more dough in it.

They wait for the rest of their waffles and then they start having breakfast on the table. They sit next to each other and add the extras on their waffles. Dean pours a small amount of syrup on his while Castiel sprays some whipped cream on top of his. His index ends up with some whipped cream and he takes longer than he should on licking it. Dean tries to focus on his waffles but he is easily distracted.

“How are we going to find if there is something suspicious in that McDonalds?” Castiel asks before he starts to eat.

“I was thinking about going as the FBI and asking the employees something about the witch,” Dean begins to explain. “We could take a look around and see if there’s something unusual.”

Castiel makes a thoughtful face as he chews.

“What are you thinking?” Dean asks, rising both of his eyebrows.

“There’s a spell we could use, but I’m not sure if we have all the ingredients in the Impala for that,” Castiel explains. “It’s a spell that can make someone sensitive to any kind of magic, but only in small places.”

“You know the ingredients needed for that?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Okay, awesome. We’ll see if we’ve got those ingredients in the Impala before we leave.”

***

While Castiel takes a shower, Dean waits in the living room, checking his messages. Neither Sam nor Eileen have found anything useful yet, so there isn’t much he and Cas can do about the situation they are in.

He realizes that his battery is quite low, only at a thirty-four percent. He stands up and walks to the bedroom, where his duffel bag is. He fishes for his phone charger and then drops the duffel bag onto the floor. He is about to leave the bedroom when Cas gets in, only wearing a towel around his waist.

Dean tries really hard not to stare, but he can’t. Cas stands almost naked in front of him and still slightly wet from his shower. His hair is stuck to his forehead, and it looks so good on him. His body is tan and strong, and Dean can see all the shapes and muscles that he never gets to see because of the clothes. He can also see the freckles that dart across his stomach, his tattooed Enochian scrawl, and his sharp hipbones, as well as some of the dark hair that leads down.

“Dean?” Castiel asks, furrowing his brows together and tilting his head to one side.

Dean opens his mouth, which is suddenly dry. Dean has never seen Cas wearing so little, and it is driving him crazy. His mind can only think about Cas and all his tanned skin and all the wonderful shapes of his body. He has always fantasized about how Cas looks without his trench coat and suit, but none of his fantasies ever did justice to the reality.

He keeps staring, unable to form any coherent thought. He needs to get out of the bedroom as soon as possible, or his blood is going to start going south pretty soon.

“Charger,” Dean finally manages to sputter. “I needed my charger.”

Castiel keeps looking at him confused. “Okay.”

“Yeah.” Dean nods and looks at his charger. He desperately needs a distraction. “Yeah, I— I’ll leave you to your clothes.”

He mentally kicks himself for saying that as he leaves the bedroom and closes the door behind him. Then, he walks as fast as he can towards the living room, plugs the charger and lets himself fall onto the couch.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Dean mutters to himself.

He covers his face with both hands and tries to calm himself down, but he keeps seeing Cas, looking fucking stunning with only a towel and— No, he can’t think about that. He needs to put that beautiful image out of his head, because if he doesn’t, he is going to get aroused and he and Cas have to work together.

It is already bad that Dean isn’t subtle at all and checks Cas out more times that he should, not to mention that he has looked at his lips countless of times. He is thankful that Cas doesn’t seem to realize this, because if he did, Dean would be screwed.

“Think about Sam and Bobby clipping each other’s toe nails,” Dean says to himself.

He focuses all his thoughts on that disturbing image, and by the time Castiel walks out of the bedroom completely suit up, Dean is able to pretend that he didn’t almost have a boner a few minutes ago. Still, he has a bit of a hard time looking at Cas. At least now he is completely dressed, which eases things.

“You ready?” Dean asks before Cas can inquire what the hell happened to him in the bedroom.

“Yes,” Castiel answers.

Dean nods and stands. “Let’s see if we have those ingredients, first.”

***

As Dean expected, no one at the McDonalds has ever seen the witch; not even around town. Still, when he and Cas are done interrogating the staff, they retire to the men’s bathroom and prepare the spell. Luckily they had all the ingredients needed, but as Cas said, it will only allow one of them to be sensitive to magic, but it won’t be able to tell them more about it.

“Give me your knife,” Castiel says.

Dean does as he is told and gets his knife from his jacket. Castiel pricks his thumb and lets a few drops of his blood drop onto the tiny bowl. Then, he says a few words in Latin and a small fire appears in it. It quickly disappears and when it does, Castiel closes his eyes.

“Feel anything?” Dean asks.

Castiel shakes his head. “No. There’s nothing here.”

Dean sighs. Even though he was expecting this outcome, it is still disappointing.

“Well, I guess that this place as the center of the shield means nothing,” Dean mumbles.

“It should mean something,” Castiel says, sounding as disappointed as Dean feels.

“C’mon, let’s get out of here before someone starts wondering what we’re doing in the bathroom.” He turns around before Cas gets to see his blush and the two of them leave the fast food restaurant.

Once they are in the Impala, Castiel asks, “Now what?”

“The obvious thing would be to go to the witch’s house, but we’re not risking that until we know for sure that there aren’t any dangerous spells waiting for us.”

“What if the center is not important?” Castiel asks. “After all, the witch’s house is located on the northwest of the town, far away from where we are now.”

“What are you saying? That we should focus on the circumference instead?”

“Yes.”

Dean makes a dubious face.

“Do you have any better idea, Dean?”

“No,” Dean answers sighing. “Which point should we check first?”

“The one in the north. It’s a good place to begin with.”

“And once we are there, what are we gonna do? We can’t do the same spell we just did. We don’t have more ingredients.”

“I know, but we might find something useful.” He looks at Dean and makes a half smile. “It’s not like we can do much else.”

Dean sighs bitterly. “Yeah. You’ve got a point.”

***

They don’t find anything useful in the north point nor in any of the other points. And given that they can’t do much else for now, Dean and Castiel drive back to the cabin, feeling both tired and frustrated.

By the time they reach Jody’s cabin, the temperature has increased a lot, which doesn’t help with their sour mood. When they get inside, Dean opens a couple of windows to let some breeze in and chill the place. He goes to the bedroom to change into something more comfortable. Cas is undressing himself to do the same, and Dean avoids looking at him, ignoring the memories of this morning.

“When we were investigating her,” Castiel begins to say as he puts on a Henley shirt. “Did we find any other properties under her name?”

“I can’t remember,” Dean answers. “We’ll see after lunch. I’m thinking about making some chickpeas salad, how does that sound?”

“It sounds great to me. Although I’m surprised you want to eat something you call rabbit food.”

Dean rolls his eyes and turns to look at Cas, who is tying his boots. “You can make your own lunch if you’re gonna complain.”

“I’m not complaining. I’m only surprised that you want to eat that. Maybe the curse of being locked in Spokane has a side effect that makes you want to eat more vegetables.”

“You’re fucking hilarious,” Dean sasses, and Castiel gives him a fond look. It makes Dean’s heart skip a beat and he focuses his eyes on his own shoelaces.

As he ties his boots, he hears Cas standing up and walking the few steps that separate his side of the bed from the window. Even though that window is closed, they can hear some birds chirping.

“It’s a good place to be stuck in,” Castiel mumbles.

Dean turns his head to look at his friend. There is something in his eyes that Dean can’t put a name on it, but it reminds him of a melancholic happiness.

“Yeah,” Dean murmurs. “It could be much worse.” He stands up and approaches the window. “And the company could be so much worse.”

Castiel chuckles at that and looks at Dean. “I agree.”

Without thinking it twice, Dean brushes his fingers on Castiel’s temple, close to Cas’ wound. “Does it hurt?”

Castiel shakes his head. “No. It feels stiff every now and then, but that’s all.”

“Good. That’s good.”

Then, Castiel grabs Dean’s wounded hand and turns it over, until he can see his bandaged palm. “What about yours?”

Dean lets out a silent sigh as Cas’ fingers brush his skin.

“It’s a bit uncomfortable when I’m holding something for a long time, but it’s fine,” Dean answers in a murmur, as if he were afraid that talking loudly would make Cas pull away.

“Then I will help you with cutting the ingredients for the salad,” Castiel says as he lets go of Dean’s hand. Dean immediately misses his touch, but focuses on the lingering warmth that the ghost of Cas’ touch left. “It’s not stove related, so I am allowed to do that, right?”

Dean grins. “Yeah. But won’t your knuckles bother you?” He points at Cas’ knuckles, where there are blood scabs.

“They won’t.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.” He gives Dean a knowing smile and Dean once again feels the urge to just lean and finally kiss him.

But as always, Dean simply nods and doesn’t do it.

***

“The only thing she owned was the house,” Dean says after he has gone through all the things under the witch’s name.

Castiel exhales sharply. “Well, at least now we only have her place left to investigate.”

Dean snorts. “Yeah.” He looks and sighs tiredly. “Did you find anything about shield spells in the lore?”

“No,” Castiel answers in a sigh. “I’m also trying to find spells that we can use to reveal the possible spells in the witch’s house, but I haven’t found anything either.”

“Awesome…” Dean closes his laptop and rubs his sore eyes. “We aren’t going to find anything about this shit on the internet. We need books for this, and we don’t have any.”

“Sam and Eileen will find something eventually.”

“Yeah, I know they will. It’s just that I hate being unable to do anything useful.” He takes a deep breath and stares at Cas, who is still concentrated on his task. “Why don’t we forget about this shit and we watch a movie?”

“Are you serious?” Castiel asks, giving him an incredulous look.

“Yeah, I’m freaking serious,” Dean says. Castiel is about to protest, but Dean keeps talking, “You know as well as I do that we can’t do much. We don’t have any books, we’ve looked for everything we had to look for and found nothing. The only thing we can do is go to her house, but we can’t go until we know it’s completely safe. Do instead of wasting our time in going one dead end after another, let’s just enjoy our time. We’re trapped here, so let’s try to make the best out of this situation.”

“Fine,” Castiel says with a tiny smile as he closes his laptop. “But if we end up watching a western, I will go to the bedroom and keep researching on my own.”

“What do you have against westerns?”

“It’s the same plot in every single movie.”

“It is not the same plot!”

Castiel snorts. “Keep telling yourself that.”

“How dare you!” Dean quickly stands up, feeling indignant about Castiel’s comment. He goes to the bookshelf and he quickly finds what he’s looking for, letting out a playful laugh. “Look what I found. _The Dollars_ Trilogy.” He shows the DVD set to Castiel, who groans and rolls his eyes. “Just because of your awful comment, I’m gonna make you watch all three of them in one sitting.”

“Well, have fun with your cowboys,” Castiel says as he stands up and grabs his laptop.

He starts walking towards the bedroom, but Dean places himself in front of Cas, blocking his way.

“I’m not letting you go,” Dean says smugly.

“Dean, you can’t be serious,” Castiel says, a bit angrily.

“I’ll make you a deal. We watch one western now, and then after supper, we watch one movie of your choice.”

Castiel clenches his jaw and makes an irritated face. “Fine.”

Dean grins and goes back to the living room. “Awesome.”

“We’ll watch _Mulan_ after supper,” Castiel announces as he leaves the laptop on the tea table.

“Seriously? A Disney movie, Cas?”

As the fallen angel sits on the couch, he gives Dean a challenging look. “They’re entertaining and hopeful. It would help me to overcome the torture of your beloved western.”

“You have no taste,” Dean mutters after sitting next to Cas and grabbing the remote.

“Likewise.”

Dean glares him and Castiel smirks.

“You better not say any of your sassy remarks while we watch this,” Dean warns and he gets comfortable on the couch. There are a few inches in between him and Cas, just like in the bed, and Dean is too aware of Cas’ proximity.

“Don’t worry, I will save my complains for later,” Castiel sasses, amusement filling his voice.

***

After supper, Dean’s laptop starts to ring, announcing that they have a video call.

“Cas, could you answer that, please?” Dean asks. He is in the bathroom washing his hands, while Cas is in the living room, waiting for him so they can watch _Mulan_.

“Sam, Eileen, hello,” Castiel says.

“Hi, Cas,” Sam and Eileen say at the same time.

Dean leaves the bathroom and walks towards the living room, sitting next to Cas, getting closer to him so he can fit in the screen. “Hey, guys,” Dean says both with his voice and with his hands.

He is still learning American Sign Language. Although Eileen can read their lips and her hearing aids allow her to have conversations without using sign language, they try to use the sign language as much as they can. Sam and Dean still struggle with some hand movements, but Cas speaks it perfectly; perks of having been an angel.

“Hi, Dean,” Sam and Eileen greet.

“Tell me you guys have found something about this spell,” Dean says. This time, Cas translates his words to ASL. When it comes to stuff about hunting, Dean doesn’t know most of the words, but Cas does.

“We haven’t found anything about the shield yet,” Eileen says, both with her voice and her hands. “But we have found a way to reveal if a place is protected with dangerous spells.”

“But this spell needs some specific ingredients that you guys don’t have,” Sam adds with a grimace.

“Do you have those ingredients in the bunker?” Castiel asks.

“All of them except for a flower that only grows in the Himalayas.”

“The Himalayas? Are you fucking kidding me?” Dean protests.

“Don’t worry, there’s a place I know where they have those flowers,” Eileen says reassuringly.

“Oh, great, thanks.” Dean nods and gives her a soft smile. “And then what? You’re gonna mail us the ingredients?”

“We won’t mail them,” Sam explains. “I’ve talked to Claire and she says that she can go there, to Jody’s cabin, and give them to you. She knows where you are and she knows the area, so she might be able to give you a hand. Meanwhile, me and Eileen will keep looking for something in case there are dangerous spells in that house.”

“Have you found anything about how to contact Rowena?” Castiel asks.

“We have tried summoning a few demons,” Eileen explains. “We’ve told them to send a message to Rowena, but they either refuse to do such thing or they try to kill us. So it hasn’t been successful.”

“We’ve also tried looking for some spells to contact her, but the only one we’ve found involves killing a person and using their blood.”

“Fuck,” Dean says grossed out.

“Yeah,” Eileen agrees. “Did you guys find anything?”

“No,” Castiel says, sighing. “We can’t do much. We have investigated everything we could but we found nothing.”

“We’re just basically spending time in the cabin because there’s nothing else we can do,” Dean explains. “We’re taking a break.”

“Yeah, I know,” Sam says. “We’ll keep investigating. We have tons of books here, so we’ll find something eventually. You two just keep doing what you’re doing.”

“We will. Thank you both for this.”

“No problem,” Sam and Eileen say at the same time.

***

“What’s the plan for tomorrow?” Castiel asks as he gets inside the bedroom.

“I don’t know,” Dean answers, shrugging. He takes off his plaid shirt and puts it inside the wardrobe. “Our choices are limited.”

“Indeed,” Castiel agrees. He walks towards the wardrobe too and places his Henley there. Once again, Dean sees him topless, but this time he forces his eyes to look at the contents of the wardrobe instead of staring at that distracting chest and those distracting hips. “We could try to do whatever we usually do in the bunker in between hunts.”

“Yeah,” Dean manages to say.

Castiel puts on a t-shirt and Dean calms down, knowing that he can look at Cas now.

“We’ll see after we have breakfast,” Dean adds as he takes off his jeans and puts then in the wardrobe. Cas does the same, and the he walks to the bed, without putting on his pajamas’ pants. “You are gonna sleep in your underwear?” Dean asks, hating how alarmed his voice comes out. He forces his eyes to remain on Cas’ face instead of his crotch, as tempting as that is.

“Yes,” Castiel answers flatly. “It’s hot.”

He has a point. The night is hot, and Dean knows that it would be better if he too slept only with his t-shirt and his underwear. He contemplates his decision for a while, giving Cas enough time to get in bed. Finally, Dean sighs and decides to only wear his t-shirt and underwear. If he sleeps with his pajamas pants, he’s going to sweat a lot, and that’s going to be uncomfortable.

As he walks back to the bed, he feels his restless heart beating against his chest and hearing it in his ears. He needs to get a grip on himself.

When he ends up under the sheets, Dean pushes away all the thoughts about having Cas so close to him, only wearing a thin t-shirt and some boxers. He begs his body to not betray him in his sleep and make something inappropriate.

“Are you alright, Dean?” Castiel asks worried. He rolls onto his side, pressing his elbow on the pillow and resting his cheek on his palm. “You seem tense.”

Dean looks at the ceiling, not wanting to meet Cas’ soft stare. “I’m fine, Cas.”

“Dean.” It’s just his name, but the tone tells Dean that he can see through his bullshit.

Cas knows him pretty well, after all they have been friends for over a decade. And as much as Dean confides in him, as much as he tells Cas stuff that he doesn’t tell anyone else, Dean can’t tell him his deepest secret.

Over the years Dean had denied his feelings for Cas, but eventually he couldn’t deny them anymore, and now he only hides it as best as he can, although he knows he isn’t that good at it. He wants Cas in ways he has never wanted anyone in his life, and that scares him for so many reasons.

And as much as he would love to stop being scared about it and finally do what he has wanted to do for almost a decade, Dean can’t bring himself to it. Dean is just a fucked up hunter chasing one nightmare after another. And Cas deserves someone better than him. He deserves someone full of worth, and that’s not Dean.

“Dean,” Castiel repeats. He rests his hand on Dean’s shoulder, and as always, Cas’ touch makes him feel blessed, but at the same time if makes him feel like he is about to be set on fire. “Talk to me.”

Dean wishes he could just talk to him, to let out all the words he wants to say, but he simply can’t because he is afraid. Besides, he has always been more fluent with actions that words.

“I’m just thinking about this whole situation with the witch,” Dean lies. “Trying to find something we might’ve missed. My mind is trying to solve the puzzle.”

Castiel hums in understanding. “Maybe we should take a break and try to consider this like some sort of vacation.”

Dean raises his eyebrow and finally looks at Cas. “Really?”

The fallen angel shrugs one shoulder, casually. “As you pointed out earlier, we can’t do much for now. We both could use some time off.”

“Yeah. I guess so.” He takes a deep breath and brings his eyes back to the ceiling.

Castiel pulls his hand away from Dean and then he switches off the lights. He lies onto his back, letting out a quiet sigh.

“I hope this means we will be allowed to linger in bed in the morning,” Castiel mumbles.

Dean laughs. “You’re a lazy ass, Cas.”

“I’m not such thing. I just hate mornings.”

Dean shakes his head while he chuckles. Then, tentatively, he turns his face until he can see Cas’ shape in the dark.

“Goodnight, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

And for a moment, Dean swears he can see Cas’ smile after he says that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone, there you go with another chapter. Thank you so much for reading, for the comments, the kudos, the bookmarks and the subscriptions

Slowly, Dean wakes up. He feels cozy, warm and comfortable. The temperature seems to have decreased, but under the sheets the temperature is perfect.

He is lying on his side, and he feels Cas’ soft breathing brushing his face. Once again, they found each other in the middle of the bed, but they got slightly closer than the previous night. When Dean moves his legs in order to stretch them slightly, his knees bump with Cas’.

At that feeling, Dean opens his eyes, afraid that he woke Cas up, but his friend is still sleeping soundly, so Dean sighs in relief. Then, he notices that his hand is clutching the hem of Cas’ t-shirt. Panicked, he pulls his hand away, and this time, Cas stirs, but he keeps sleeping.

Dean rolls onto his back, putting some space between the two of them while trying to slow down the rapid beating of his heart.

He feels Cas moving next to him, and Dean can’t help but look at him. Cas gets closer to Dean again, and one of his hands brushes Dean’s sleeve. When that happens, Cas lets out some sort of sigh, and Dean just stares at him in disbelief.

That felt as if Cas was chasing after him.

Dean’s stomach swoops at that thought, but he quickly shuts down that hopeful feeling that quickly blooms in his heart. Cas is asleep and he is probably chasing some warmth, that’s all.

He rubs his eyes, and then he grabs his phone to know what time it is. It’s just a few minutes past eight A.M.; it’s still a bit early.

Dean looks at Cas, still sleeping next to him. His mind is telling him to get up and leave Cas’ side, but everything else in him wants to remain there and enjoy this little moment. Besides, it’s not like they are going to do much today. He could use a little bit more of sleep. The bed is warm and Cas is there with him; there’s no better place to be at right now.

Dean decides to close his eyes and surrender to sleep. Hopefully, when he wakes up, he won’t regret his choice.

***

When Dean opens his eyes again, he is still lying onto his back and Cas is still only an inch away from him. There is so much light coming through the windows, so Dean grabs his phone to check the time.

“Holy shit,” Dean murmurs.

“Is it late?” Castiel mumbles with a pastry voice.

Dean startles at hearing Cas say something; he never utters a word before he has had his coffee. He looks at his best friend and sees that he has his eyes still closed despite being awake.

“It’s almost ten A.M.”

“It’s a good time to wake up, then,” Castiel says, slowly opening his eyes.

“Look at you,” Dean says with a teasing smile. “Saying more than ten words without having any caffeine in your system.”

Castiel hums pleased and rolls onto his back so he can stretch his body. “It’s a miracle.”

“Yeah, it fucking is.” He chuckles and then he gets up, stretching his sleepy body. “Fuck, it’s later than I expected.”

“It’s not that late,” Castiel replies. He gets up as well and he stretches his arms, lifting his t-shirt just enough to allow Dean to see his hips and the bottom line of his Enochian tattoo.

“What do you want for breakfast?” Dean asks, letting his eyes linger on the exposed skin for a few seconds before he looks at Cas’ face. “Besides, coffee.”

Castiel makes a thoughtful face. “Did we buy chives?”

“Yeah, why?” Dean asks confused, then, before Cas can answer, he says, “You want cloud eggs.”

“Yes.”

“You also want them on a toast?”

“Obviously.”

Dean huffs a laugh. “Okay.”

Together, they make the bed and then Castiel goes to the bathroom first. While Dean waits, he looks at his phone, checking his messages, but he doesn’t have any. He sighs and rubs his eyes. The situation of being trapped in Spokane isn’t that bad, things could be much worse, but he can’t help feeling restless.

When Cas finishes in the bathroom, Dean enters it to relieve himself and wash himself; he will take a shower after they have breakfast, and he suspects that Cas will do the same. He leaves the bathroom to make their breakfast, finding that Cas has already left all the ingredients on the counter.

“Thanks,” Dean says with a grin.

Castiel smiles at him and then returns his eyes to the coffee pot.

It is so bizarre to see Cas in such a good mood in the morning, and Dean finds himself staring at the fallen angel every now and then.

“What?” Castiel asks after a while.

“You’re in a good mood this morning. It’s so fucking weird,” Dean answers. “Should I get some holy water, silver and borax to make sure that it’s really you?”

“That’s up to you,” Castiel deadpans as he pours some coffee in two mugs. “I obviously know that I’m myself, but if I were possessed or pretending to be Castiel, I would also tell you that I know that I’m myself.”

Dean just stares at him, noticing the playful smirk Cas is trying to hide behind his mug.

“Yeah, I don’t think anyone can mimic your terrible sense of humor,” Dean decides with an agreeable pout.

“You’re insufferable, Dean.”

“Yeah. I’m fucking terrible.” He grins and puts the beaten whites with chive in the oven. In a couple of minutes he will get the tray and put the yolks on top of it. Meanwhile, he grabs some bread and puts it in the toaster. “So, do you have any plans for today?”

“I was thinking about taking a walk around here in the woods,” Cas answers. He hands Dean his mug, and their fingers brush. Dean lingers a little bit more than he should. He has been doing that more often and Cas never pulls away. Dean doesn’t know if it is because Cas doesn’t notice or because he doesn’t mind. “What about you? Any plans?”

“Not really,” Dean answers. He takes a sip of his coffee. Cas is an atrocious cook, but he makes an amazing coffee. “You mind if I join you in that walk?”

Castiel smiles, sweetly and brightly. “Not at all.”

***

The quietness of the forest is calming. It is only disturbed by a bird singing in the distance, or the sounds of crunching leaves under their feet. Autumn will officially arrive in a week, but the forest is already embracing the warm colors of the season, turning into oranges, yellows and reds, but still holding onto the green colors of summer.

For a moment, Castiel closes his eyes and breathes deeply, enjoying the feeling of the sun on his skin. Dean knows that he still thinks about the deal he did with the Empty and the words it said to him. Dean and Sam found out about that infamous deal after they defeated Chuck. Billie explained them that the Empty was going back to sleep, and for that to happen, the Empty had to let go of Castiel’s deal. The Empty wasn’t happy with that, but Billie forced it to do it.

Part of Dean still thinks about what would have happened if that deal hadn’t been broken. Cas would have been snatched from his life at any moment, like this one. The thought is scary. He shakes his head, trying to get rid of that thought, and he stares at the small smile that tugs at the corners’ of Castiel’s lips.

 _He’s still here_ , Dean thinks.

When Castiel opens his eyes, he notices Dean’s eyes on him, and Dean blushes, but he doesn’t look away immediately. They hold their gazes for a moment as they walk, until Dean finally breaks their eye contact, afraid of getting even more lost in those blue eyes, afraid of being able to reveal the secrets in his heart.

They keep walking in silence, enjoying each other’s company and the place they are in. Until the purple shield appears, blocking their way.

“For fuck’s sake,” Dean says loudly, really pissed.

Castiel takes a deep breath, feeling irritated. “Well, this is…” Castiel starts to say, but then he stops and touches Dean’s shoulder. “Dean.”

“What?” Dean asks, a bit alarmed.

“Look at that tree.”

Dean’s eyes flicker to the tree Cas is looking at. There is a big oak, and in its trunk, somebody carved a strange symbol.

“That symbol looks familiar,” Dean comments as he and Cas start approaching the oak.

“I believe it is an old symbol related with witchcraft,” Castiel supplies.

“How old?”

“I’m not sure, but I think it might be from the eighteenth century.”

Dean makes an affirmative sound and looks at his surroundings. “It can’t be coincidence that this tree is just right where the shield appears.”

“I agree.”

“I’m gonna facetime Sam. See if he can find something about this symbol.”

***

After some digging, Sam finds that the symbol is used to reinforce the magic in a place. Witches used to carve that symbol in five different oaks, trying to recreate the points of a pentagram. Luckily, they only have to destroy the symbol in one of the five trees. When one of the oaks loses its symbol, the remaining four become useless.

Unfortunately, Sam didn’t find a specific way to destroy the symbol, so Dean and Castiel decide to go back to the cabin and grab some possible things that might work, carrying them in a duffel bag and a backpack.

It’s around a fifteen minute walk from the cabin to the oak, and this time, Dean takes a better look at the trees, in case there is anything unusual in any of them.

“Do you think this will make the shield disappear?” Castiel asks.

“Honestly? No,” Dean answers with a grimace. “But destroying that symbol might be helpful, somehow.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. Maybe in order to get rid of the shield, we have to destroy several items.”

Castiel stares at him, contemplating his words, and then he says, “Perhaps you’re right.”

“If in the end it turns out that I’m right, I will constantly remind you that I was right all along.”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “I know you will.”

They stop and Dean drops the duffel bag in front of the oak tree. Castiel does the same with his backpack.

“I’m gonna try axing the symbol first,” Dean explains as he kneels to grab the axe he carried in his duffel bag. Then, he stands up, axe in hand, and approaches the oak. He looks at the symbol and then at Cas. “This should work, right?”

“It should,” Castiel agrees. “It is a way of destruction.”

Dean nods and grips the axe tightly. In a swish, he drives the axe towards the carved trunk, but before the axe can dig into the tree, a purple wave appears and Dean is thrown away.

“Dean!” Castiel screams as Dean hits the ground hard.

The axe is somewhere on his left. Dean tries to get up, but he is disoriented and dizzy. In an instant, Castiel is kneeling next to his side, holding his face tenderly and sweetly, but his eyes are full of concern.

“Dean, can you hear me?” Castiel asks.

“Yeah, I can hear you, Cas,” Dean murmurs.

“Are you hurt?”

“I don’t know,” Dean admits. “My body feels fine, but my head doesn’t.”

Carefully, Castiel tilts Dean’s head to one side. His fingers brush the left side of Dean’s head, and Dean hisses at the contact.

“You’re bleeding,” Castiel says, looking at his stained fingers and then and Dean’s wound.

“Fuck,” Dean says.

“Don’t move. I’m going to heal you.”

“With what?”

But before Castiel can answer, he is already running away. Dean doesn’t dare moving his head, so he doesn’t see where Cas has gone to. He looks at the cloudy sky and waits for Cas, who comes back in less than a minute, carrying his backpack.

“Before we left I grabbed the first aid kit,” Castiel starts explaining as he holds a tin box. “Just in case.”

Dean chuckles. “Don’t tell me you knew something like this was gonna happen. You could have saved me this pain.”

“I didn’t know,” Castiel answers. He begins to clean Dean’s wound and once again Dean hisses. “I was just trying to be cautious. You have taught me to always be cautious and thoughtful.”

“I’m glad that at least one of us paid attention to that.”

Castiel sighs and keeps working on Dean’s wound.

“How bad is it?” Dean asks.

“Not bad. Nothing some butterfly stitches can’t fix,” Castiel explains. “But we will go to the hospital once you feel better. Just in case.”

“No need to go to the hospital. I’m sure you’re gonna do a great job.”

“Dean, I’m not taking any risks with your wound.”

Dean would have protested, but the fear in Cas’ voice makes him swallow his words. So instead, he says, “Okay.”

Castiel keeps working on Dean’s wound silently. When he is done, he lets out a relieved sigh and his body relaxes, letting out all the tension. He looks at Dean, and his hand reaches for Dean’s cheek. The touch startles Dean at first, not used to this kind of intimacy, but he quickly leans into the comforting and warm touch.

“How are you feeling?” Castiel asks.

“Much better,” Dean answers. “Thanks for saving me.”

“Of course.”

Castiel’s thumb caresses Dean’s cheek, and Dean can’t help letting out a content sigh. His head still hurts, but Cas is there, holding his face, and Dean feels great.

“We should try to—” Dean begins to say after a while, using his elbows to rise, but Castiel stops him.

“Don’t move. Not yet,” Castiel warns.

“I’m fine, Cas.”

“Dean, please.”

Dean sighs, defeated. “Fine. But we still need to do something with that symbol.”

“We will deal with it later. First, I’m going to take you to the hospital once you’re able to stand up.”

“You’re freaking stubborn. I’ve told you I’m fine.”

“And I have told you that I’m not risking your well-being.” Even though his words are authoritarian, Dean can see the fear and worry in Cas’ eyes. If he was on the opposite side of things, he would do the same.

“Alright. We’ll deal with this fucking symbol later.”

Castiel lets out a relieved sigh. “Thank you.”

***

In the hospital, a doctor confirms that Cas did a good job, but nevertheless, they replace the butterfly stitches with bigger ones, and they also run a test to make sure that Dean doesn’t have any internal bleeding. He is fine, but the doctor recommends him to rest during the rest of the day.

After their visit to the hospital, Castiel drives the Impala. He stops by a Chinese restaurant to get some lunch, and then he drives them back to the cabin. Dean tries not to stare too much, but Cas looks so good behind the wheel of the Impala. It’s a sight he is never going to forget.

By the time they sit down to eat, Dean feels quite tired. He was hoping to go back to that oak and finish destroying the symbol, but he is afraid that will have to wait.

“I hope you aren’t thinking about coming back to that oak,” Castiel says as he dips his eggroll in sweet and sour sauce.

“I was,” Dean says, making Castiel glare at him. He speaks before Castiel can lecture him. “But I’m beaten for today, so that’s gonna have to wait.”

“Good.”

Dean huffs and rolls his eyes.

“We can watch some Western after lunch,” Castiel says.

Dean looks at him, surprised. “You hate Westerns.”

“I do. But you enjoy them. I’m sure that watching one will make you feel better. And it is a good way to make you follow the doctor’s instructions and take some rest.”

Dean keeps looking incredulous and then he chuckles to himself. “I should hit my head more often.”

Castiel glares him.

“I’m joking, Cas,” Dean hurriedly says. “Geez, stop giving me that look, I was only joking.”

“It isn’t funny to joke about your well-being,” Castiel mutters. He exhales sharply and glares at his food. “I was scared of losing you.”

Dean’s heart melts at that. He has never given a damn about what happens to him, and even though he knows that there are people who actually care if he lives of dies, he doesn’t truly believe it. There is always that voice inside him telling him that nobody really cares about him, so it is always a relief to be told otherwise. It always makes him feel worthy.

Without thinking about it, Dean brushes Castiel’s hand. He wants to hold it in his, but he isn’t going to go that far. Castiel looks at Dean’s hand and then at his face, until their eyes meet.

“Hey,” Dean murmurs. “You know it takes more than a stupid fall to end me.”

Castiel chuckles bitterly. “Still—”

“I know. It was something to be worried about. But I’m afraid you’re not gonna get rid of me that easily.”

“I would never want to get rid of you, Dean.”

Dean just looks at him. His hand is still resting on top of Castiel’s. Words form and die in his throat. He thinks he should say something; Cas is looking at him expectantly, and Dean doesn’t know what it means, doesn’t know what to do with the way Cas looks at him right now. There is so much in those eyes he doesn’t understand.

Unable to know what to do or say, Dean nods and gives Cas’ hand a soft squeeze before he returns to his food. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Dean is cursing at himself for burying his feelings one more time.

***

“I’m gonna make supper,” Dean announces as he stands up from the couch.

“You’re supposed to be resting,” Castiel reminds him.

“I’m just gonna make pasta. I’m sure I can do that.”

“Dean…”

“Cas, I know you’re worried and you’re trying to be careful, but stop trying to make me feel useless.”

Castiel stands up and frowns at Dean. “I’m not trying to make you feel useless.”

“I know that. I know that you’re trying to take care of me, but it feels like I’m useless. I can do stuff. And if I can’t do something, I’ll ask for your help.”

“Will you?” Castiel approaches Dean and he looks at him with mistrust. “You only ask for help when there are exceptional circumstances.”

Dean rolls his eyes so hard that for a moment he thinks he is going to be able to see the inside of his skull.

“For fuck’s sake, Cas,” Dean mutters.

“I’m just worried,” Castiel confesses, looking away, ashamed. “I can’t heal you like I used to and I—” He takes a deep breath and forces his eyes to meet Dean’s. “I don’t want you to get worse.”

Dean looks at him with tender eyes. “Cas, you—” He takes a deep breath and manages to smile. “Look, I’m okay, I swear, I’m not lying. I know I tend to say that I’m fine when I’m not, but this time I promise you that I’m doing good. I’m not gonna get worse.” He rests his hand on Cas’ shoulders and gives them a reassuring squeeze. “And I promise you that if I need your help or if I’m not feeling good, I’ll let you know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“But for the sake of both, you aren’t using the stove under any circumstances,” Dean teases.

Castiel rolls his eyes, but he manages to smile.

***

When Dean rests his head on the pillow, he grunts. His wound throws at him, feeling almost raw, and he has to roll onto his side so the left side of his head doesn’t touch the pillow at all.

“What’s wrong?” Castiel asks worried.

“I can’t sleep on my back or my left side,” Dean explains. “It’s uncomfortable.” To further explain, he points at his wound.

Castiel looks at the butterfly stiches and he sighs. “I’m so sorry, Dean.”

Dean frowns. “Sorry for what?”

“For being unable to heal you.”

“Cas, you healed me.”

“But not completely.”

“So?” Dean asks, and his tone makes Cas look at him confused. “Dude, you healed me. Who cares if I still have a few days left to heal completely? You stopped the bleeding; that’s what matters.”

“But you’re still hurting.”

“It’s not that bad. It would have been way worse if you hadn’t been there.”

Castiel sighs, unconvinced. He looks at Dean’s face; some of the cuts have disappeared but there a few ones where a pale line of scar tissue has appeared. He brushes some of those with his fingers, making Dean shiver. Then, he grabs Dean’s wounded hand to look at it. Dean removed the bandages this morning, revealing a thin scar.

“I know you would be happier if I were powered up, as you say,” Castiel mumbles.

“No, that’s not true,” Dean says. He sounds so convinced that Castiel gives him an incredulous look. “I’m not gonna lie, Cas. It comes in handy when you’re powered up, because it’s like having a safety net. And yeah, healing with just one touch was fucking awesome, but we can live without that. Before you came, me and Sammy lived without all of that.” He smiles at Cas, but his friend still seems to have his doubts. “Look, I don’t care if you’re powered up or not, all I care about is that you’re here.”

“You’re kind for saying that.”

“I mean it, Cas. I really mean it.”

They look at each other and Dean hopes that his eyes can speak the words he can’t put together.

“I can’t help feeling powerless and useless,” Castiel murmurs. “When I saw that wound on your head, I felt that I could do so little.”

“Maybe you don’t have your mojo, but you still got everything else,” Dean says. “You thought that something could go wrong and got the first aid kit. You saw my wound and you healed it in an instant. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t look to me as powerless or useless.”

There’s a hint of a smile on Cas’ lips. “Maybe you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right.”

Castiel rolls his eyes but he smiles and Dean grins.

“I know this might not be the best time to ask you this, but, uh—” Dean clears his throat and bites his lip, worrying about the question he is about to ask. Castiel looks at him expectantly, and Dean takes a deep breath. “You know, I’ve been wondering— why did you decide to become human?”

Castiel stares at him for a while, and then he says, “Because I didn’t want to be an angel anymore.”

“Yeah, no I get that, but— It’s just that being human sucks sometimes, and especially if you’re a hunter. I get that you might’ve wanted to become human to experience some of the perks of humanity, but you decided to stick with us. Not that I’m complaining. I like having you around more than anyone.” At that last sentence, Dean blushes. “But you were an angel, a celestial wavelength, and we humans are just— There’s nothing really extraordinary about us.”

“I beg to differ,” Castiel says. Dean looks at him in disbelief. “These past eleven years among humans have shown me how extraordinary you can be. I have witnessed how bright you can shine, even if it is for a little amount of time, and it is extraordinary.”

“I think you’re overrating us,” Dean admits with a grimace.

“I’m not.”

Dean flicks his eyes at him. “Do you miss being an angel?”

“Only when you get hurt,” Castiel answers. “And also when I wake up. Mornings are an abomination.”

Dean laughs at that and Castiel grins at him.

When Dean’s laughter has calmed, another question comes to him, but he is really afraid of the answer.

“You seem to have more questions,” Castiel acknowledges.

“Yeah, but maybe I should ask them another time,” Dean admits. “I know it must not be easy for you to talk about this.”

“I still have to make peace with some of the things that came with my choice, but I can tell you that I don’t regret my choice.”

Dean lets out a relieved sigh he didn’t know he was holding. “I’m glad, Cas.”

Castiel simply nods and then he switches off the lights.

“Goodnight, Dean.”

“Goodnight, Cas.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and for the comments, kudos, bookmarks and subscriptions :')

The first thing Dean notices when he wakes up is that, judging by the sunlight that comes through the curtains, it must be late.

The second thing he notices is that there are only a couple of inches in between his body and Cas’.

The third thing he notices is that his hand is resting on top of Castiel’s.

Carefully, in order to not wake Cas up, Dean puts some space in between them and pulls his hand away from Castiel’s. As much as he would love to remain close to Cas, he can’t do that. He needs to put space in between their bodies because he doesn’t want to fuck things up in between them ever again.

“Dean?” Castiel mumbles with a sleepy voice. He opens his eyes slightly but closes them immediately, bothered by the light. “Something’s wrong?”

“No, I just—” Dean clears his throat. He is hoping that Cas didn’t feel how close they were nor that Dean had his hand on his. “Just wanted to see what time it is.” He grabs his phone and sees that it is 9:47 A.M. “It’s late.”

“Is it ten A.M.?” Castiel asks, almost mumbling.

“Not yet,” Dean answers as he lies onto his back. Surprisingly, his wound doesn’t hurt when he leans that part of his head on the pillow.

“Then it’s not late.”

Dean chuckles. “We should get up. We still need to go and deal with that fucking symbol in that oak.”

“It’s still going to be there regardless of the time we get up.”

“You’re a lazy ass,” Dean snorts.

“I don’t see you getting up either,” Castiel sasses.

“I’m a wounded man, I think I’m entitled.”

At that, Castiel opens his eyes and looks at Dean. “How’s your wound?”

“Much better.” He meets his eyes and smiles. “It barely hurts now.”

“I’m glad.”

“Now you can stop being so fucking worried.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and kicks Dean’s leg playfully.

“Hey! Hey! Watch that! I’m a wounded man!” Dean says defensively.

“You’re being ridiculous, Dean,” Castiel mutters.

Now it is Dean’s turn to kick Castiel’s leg playfully. Castiel then kicks him back. Dean turns his face to glare him and is met with a smug look. Dean kicks him again.

“Now we’re even,” Dean says as he gets up. In the last second, Castiel stretches his leg and manages to give Dean’s calf a playful shove with his heel. “How dare you!”

Castiel gives him a smug smile and hums to himself as he gets up. Dean is tempted to reach Cas, kiss him and throw the two of them onto bed and keep fooling around. He quickly looks away to hide the blush caused by that thought.

***

“Here we go again,” Dean says once they have reached the oak. It still looks the same, but Dean now looks at the tree with caution. “Do we have the first aid kit?”

“Of course,” Castiel says.

“Good.” They drop the backpack and the duffel bag onto the ground. Dean grabs some salt and gas while Castiel grabs a box of matches and a big bottle of water. “Hopefully the flames won’t be thrown at us.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that.”

Dean groans. “Could you at least try to be a bit positive?”

“Sorry. I was just stating the obvious.”

Dean sighs and starts pouring salt and gas onto the trunk. He doesn’t think the salt with do anything, but maybe there is a spirit living in that tree and it needs to go away.

“You ready?” Dean asks as he steps away from the oak.

Castiel nods and lights a few matches. He throws them to the trunk, hitting the symbol, and then Castiel quickly takes a couple of steps back, joining Dean.

The symbol starts to burn. The flames are big and angry, but they aren’t thrown at Dean and Cas. But there is a moment when the symbol lights up in purple, and both Dean and Castiel know that it isn’t a good sign.

“Get down!” Castiel exclaims.

He grabs Dean’s arm and they both fall onto the ground, a moment before a big flare appears in the tree. After a few seconds, the flames disappear completely and Dean and Castiel lift their heads to look at the trunk.

The symbol is completely gone.

The two of them walk towards the oak. The flames have left a perfect circle in the wood, and there is no trace of the symbol left.

Castiel walks towards where the shield appeared yesterday and Dean watches him, hoping that they got rid of it, but the purple shield appears again.

“Does it feel any different?” Dean asks as he approaches Cas.

“No,” Castiel answers, still touching the shield.

Dean sighs, frustrated. “I hate this shit.”

“Me, too.” Castiel exhales sharply and takes a step back, making the purple shield disappear. “Dean, that symbol was a bit of a challenge to destroy. If the witch did that, I can’t begin to imagine the type of spells that must be in her house.”

“Yeah. We’re fucked.” He clenches his jaw and glares at the shield that they can’t see now but they know it’s there. “Let’s head back to the cabin.”

***

They spend their afternoon reading some books that Jody has around in the cabin. Even though they could use their laptops to read some of their downloaded ebooks, both of them prefer reading a physical book. Dean loves the smell of books and the feeling of paper in his hands, as well as the comforting sensation of passing the pages.

Dean has always found a comfort in books. He still keeps some of the few books he was able to own while he grew up in motels. Those books were a constant and Dean went to them when he needed to forget about his life. They are now dog eared and some of the pages threaten to fall down, but Dean still keeps them as a treasure.

He keeps reading _Pride and Prejudice_. Sam would probably mock him for enjoying a romance novel, but Dean can’t deny that he likes good written romances that also have some comedy in them.

Cas is sitting in the other side of the couch, absorbed in _The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy_ , and book he picked by Dean's recommendation. Dean tears his eyes from the book at stares at his friend. They are both focused on their own books, but it is comforting to know that they are there, reading together. Dean smiles to himself and keeps reading.

Then, because he likes teasing Cas, he lifts both of his legs and rests his feet on Cas’ lap. He is expecting Cas to push them away and glare him, but instead, one of Cas’ hands reaches Dean’s shin and gives him a soft squeeze. After that brief moment, Cas moves his hand back to hold his book, as if what Dean just did was something they normally do. He doesn’t even look away from the pages.

Dean simply stares at him, shocked about how natural this seems to Cas. Dean is sure that only couples do this kind of stuff. But then again, this is Cas; he doesn’t know about personal space nor he does understand some of the unspoken cultural rules humans have created over the years.

Dean should move his feet away, but if he does, Cas will notice that something is wrong. He will ask something and Dean won’t know how to answer or will struggle to find a perfect lie. So he keeps his feet on Cas’ lap, trying so hard not to blush and not to overthink things. Reading a romance isn’t helping him at all either.

Maybe the best way to get out of this situation is letting Cas know that he might be uncomfortable with Dean’s weight on his lap.

“Hey,” Dean says with a squeaky voice. He clears his throat, hoping that his next words sound more normal. “I can move them if they bother you.”

“I don’t mind it,” Castiel says causally, without taking his eyes from the book.

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Dean murmurs, feeling a bit confused by the situation. “But if you get uncomfortable—”

“I will let you know,” Castiel finishes. This time he looks at Dean. “Or I will just push them away.”

“No need to be rude,” Dean huffs.

Castiel smiles and goes back to his book. Once again, he gives Dean’s shin another soft squeeze. Dean’s cheeks swiftly turn red and he hides himself behind his book.

Sometimes Cas does things like this, things that best friends don’t usually do, things that could almost be considered as things that couples do. And when this happens, Dean can’t help wondering if Cas wants what he also wants.

Cas doesn’t behave like this around Sam. He gives Sam his personal space. He doesn’t share a bed with Sam when the three of them are hunting and there are only two beds. He barely touches Sam, and when he does, his touch doesn’t linger. He barely teases Sam. He doesn’t lock his eyes with Sam and stare at him as if he wanted to see his soul. He smiles differently at Sam.

Dean wants to know why Cas is different around him, why there always seems to be something else in everything he does with Dean. But Dean is afraid of asking. So he doesn’t ask the question.

It’s easier that way, but it is still painful.

***

Before they go to bed, Dean makes sure that the cabin is protected and locked. Cas also checks everything, but they both know that Dean sleeps better if he checks it himself.

Once Dean knows everything is good, he goes to the bathroom to relieve himself and then he heads into the bedroom. By this time, Cas is already unlacing his boots, but tonight Dean finds him sitting on the bed, texting on his phone.

“Claire is on her way to the bunker,” Castiel explains before Dean can ask. “As soon as Sam and Eileen give her all the materials for the spell and she gets a few hours of sleep, she will head here to Spokane.”

“You told her to get some rest before she came here, didn’t you?” Dean asks with a smile.

“Of course.”

Dean chuckles. “Tell her I said ‘thanks’.”

“I will.” He types Dean’s words and he immediately receives a message that makes him smile.

“What did she say?” He sits onto the mattress, next to Cas. He leans onto him to peek at the screen and their knees touch.

Cas moves his phone so Dean can read the message: _**Tell him: no problem, old man.**_

“Old man my ass,” Dean mutters as he rolls his eyes. Then he stands up and starts taking off his clothes.

Cas types something and Claire answers again. He is probably informing her that they are about to go to bed and get some sleep, because Dean soon hears Cas placing his phone on his bedside table and then he hears Cas taking off his boots.

Dean walks to the closet to hang his clothes and gets his pajamas’ pants. Cas soon joins him to do the same. They have been in this cabin for less than a week and they have already found a night routine.

Dean finishes dressing first and he gets in bed, waiting for Cas. He turns his face to his left to look at his friend, watching how he pulls up his plaid pajama pants. He knows that Cas has been human for a while now, but he still gets surprised about how human Cas looks sometimes.

“We still have two days to kill until Claire arrives,” Dean says when Cas closes the closet.

“Yes,” Castiel agrees. He walks to the bed and gets in it, but he doesn’t switch off the light yet. He rolls onto his side so he can look at Dean. It seems that small pillow talk has become a habit for them. “But if we do find spells in the witch’s house, we will need another spell to remove them and get into the house safely. That means we will have to wait until Sam and Eileen find a counter spell and somebody brings us the ingredients.”

Dean groans and presses his cheek onto the pillow, meeting Castiel’s eyes. “Which means we’re gonna be stuck here for another week at least.”

Castiel grimaces. “I’m afraid so.”

Dean sighs tiredly and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Fucking witches.” He glares at the ceiling, because it is a good place to focus his anger and frustration on. “So we’re gonna be stuck here for at least two weeks, right? That’s fucking awesome, really awesome.”

“We were stuck in purgatory for a year,” Castiel reminds him. “That was much worse. Now at least we aren’t out in the open and there aren’t thousands of monsters wanting to kill us.”

“Okay, yeah, you’ve got a point,” Dean concedes, making a face. “You’re also here, so there’s that too.”

From the corner of his eye, Dean can see Cas’ expression turn into something cold.

“You know that I ran away to keep the leviathans away from you,” Castiel says. In his voice, Dean notes some defensiveness, but also sadness.

“I know that. I know you did that to protect me. I wasn’t implying that you abandoned me or anything like that,” Dean quickly says, tilting his head to his right side. “What I meant is that at least this time we don’t have to be alone.”

“Oh,” Castiel simply says. His face melts and he gives Dean an appreciative smile. “My apologies, Dean. I thought—”

“It’s okay, Cas,” Dean assures with a smile. “Don’t worry.”

Castiel nods and rolls onto his back and switches off the lights.

“I only hope we aren’t stuck in this place for a whole year,” Dean comments.

“We have to wait and see,” Castiel replies.

“Stop being so ominous, Cas.”

Castiel lets out a quiet chuckle. “Goodnight, Dean.”

“Goodnight, Cas.”

***

There are three reasons that will make Dean wake up in the middle of the night. The first and most ordinary one is the urge to go the bathroom. The second one and the one he hates the most is because he has a nightmare. And the last one and the one he has lived with since he was four years old, is because he is aware that something dangerous might be about to happen. This manifests when Dean hears a strange noise or when he feels a presence or something unusual.

Tonight, what makes him wake up is the lack of warmth next to him.

Dean opens his eyes. There isn’t enough moonlight to make Dean able to distinguish the shadows in the dark bedroom, but he knows that Cas isn’t in bed. He leans on his elbows to take a look at where the bathroom is. Dean always leaves the bedroom door half closed, that way he can be able to hear any unusual noises coming from the rest of the cabin. Thanks to that, he can see the bathroom’s entrance, and he finds that there isn’t any light coming from under the door, which means that Cas isn’t there either.

Worried, Dean immediately kicks away the sheets and puts on his sleepers. He exits the bedroom and takes a look around the dark cabin, hoping to spot Cas’ shape in the shadows, but the place is empty. 

His heart starts beating faster, quickly filling with fear and worry. He opens the cabin’s door, stepping outside, ready to start yelling Cas’ name when he hears Cas on his right.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” Castiel asks.

Dean turns around and sees Cas, sitting on the wooden bench, wearing his pajamas and his trench coat. The tension and the adrenaline that appeared because of the panic leave his body, and Dean feels his legs weaken. He approaches the bench and drops onto it, not caring that it is freezing.

“I thought something bad had happened to you,” Dean answers, rubbing his tired eyes. “What are you doing here? It’s late and it’s freezing.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Castiel answers. “I needed some air.”

“Did you have a nightmare?”

“No.” He takes a deep breath and some mist appears in front of him. “My head can’t shut up.”

“Shit, that’s as bad as a nightmare.” He makes a sympathetic grimace and immediately shivers; he should have grabbed his jacket.

“You should go back to bed. It’s cold out here.”

“Are you coming?”

“Not yet.”

“Then I’m not leaving.”

“Dean—”

“I’m not letting you out here alone,” Dean interrupts, forcing his teeth to not chatter. “I know from experience that sometimes it’s not good to be alone with your thoughts. Things can get pretty bad and dark.” He gives Cas a serious look, but the fallen angel avoids his eyes. “I’m gonna stay here with you, but first I’m gonna grab a jacket and a blanket because I don’t wanna freeze out here.”

Before Castiel can retort him, Dean heads inside to put on his jacket. He switches on the light on the living room and grabs a blanket. He is soon back to the porch, sitting next to Cas and covering his and Cas’ legs with the warm blanket.

“Thank you, Dean,” Castiel says shyly.

Dean hums. “Wanna talk about what’s going on in that head of yours? Or do you want some distraction?”

Castiel looks at the starry blanket, contemplating what he wants to do. Dean patiently waits for him to speak; he knows his friend needs time.

“I can’t stop thinking about all the mistakes I have made in the past years,” Castiel finally says. “I tried to make things better, but I only make them worse.”

“We all make mistakes, Cas,” Dean says. “It’s hard to let them go. You’re always gonna regret stuff. But you can learn from those mistakes and try to get better every day. Sometimes you’re gonna succeed and sometimes you’re gonna fail, but that’s life.”

Castiel nods absently. “I know.”

“I can’t tell you to simply let go of stuff, because your mind will bring back shit whether you like it or not. I still think about mistakes I made when I was a teen, for fuck’s sake.” He huffs at that fact. “But you’ve gotta learn how to live with those mistakes and not let the past haunt you. We all fuck up more times than we like to admit, but that’s part of being human.” When he finishes talking, he notices that Cas is looking him in awe. “What?”

“Sometimes I forget how wise you are.”

The comment makes Dean blush and chuckle. “I’ll remind you that next time you tell me I’m doing something stupid.”

Castiel shakes his head, but Dean can see there is a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“What do you do when your mind haunts you with the mistakes of the past?” Castiel asks, contemplating the dark outlines of the trees.

“Drink,” Dean answers. “That’s my solution to almost every single one of my problems. And getting angry.” He looks away, ashamed to acknowledge that personal problem. “I don’t recommend them to you, though. They’re terrible coping mechanisms.”

“Why don’t you try talking as a coping mechanism?”

“Because that’s hard.” He looks at his hands and rubs them together, desperate to ground himself with some physical contact. “I’m not— I’m not good at talking.”

“You talk to me.”

Dean flicks his eyes to Castiel. It is true; in the past Dean has talked to Cas about stuff he didn’t talk about with anyone else. When things get bad and Dean needs to talk, he tends to open himself to Cas. When Dean can’t pretend that he is fine anymore, he always goes to Cas.

“Yeah,” Dean admits. “But it is still hard. You ease things, but still…” He takes a deep breath. “I’m not good at words. I was taught to shut up, eat my feelings and my words, turn them into anger and do the stuff I was supposed to do.”

“You don’t have to do what you were taught.”

“I know, Cas. I know.”

But doing what Dean truly wants has always been a struggle. He was forced to fit into a shape that his father wanted him to fit. For a long time, Dean believed that if he didn’t fit exactly into that specific shape, he should be ashamed, so he forced himself to stop doing some of the things that John didn’t approve. He stopped liking the things that he knew John would ridicule. He shaped himself into the mold that was ready for him.

It took him almost thirty years to stop being afraid of not fitting into that mold, of not caring what his father would say, of letting himself enjoy the things he likes. Dean is still trying to accept who he is, trying to live with the things that make him be who he is. But it is still a difficult process, and even though he isn’t afraid of being who he really is, he still can’t see anything worthy in his being.

Dean takes a deep breath and watches the nocturnal landscape. In the distance, an owl hoots, barely disturbing the quietness of the night.

Castiel shivers next to him. It should be better if they just headed inside, but he knows Cas will still refuse. Dean gets his arm around Cas’ shoulders and presses him tightly against his side. He does that to give Cas some warmth, but also because human touch can be a wonderful comfort.

Cas sighs happily at the touch and then he leans his head on Dean’s shoulder. Dean’s grip tightens as his heart starts beating faster.

“Thank you, Dean,” Castiel murmurs.

“You’re welcome, Cas,” Dean says.

Pressed together, they remain in silence. The owl keeps hooting and the air blows once in a while, making the leaves of the trees rustle. It is peaceful despite the cold.

Eventually, Dean notices that Cas’ eyelids begin to drop.

“Okay, buddy, I think it’s time to go to bed,” Dean says, nudging Cas’ face with his shoulder.

“Yes, I think you’re right,” Castiel mumbles, slowly pulling away from Dean.

Dean stands up and grabs the blanket, keeping it pressed against his side. He waits for Cas to stand up and then he gets his arm around his shoulders again.

“C’mon, Cas,” Dean says, pressing Cas closer to him.

Castiel nods and places his hand on the small of Dean’s back. They walk inside the cabin together, holding each other until they are in the bedroom.

Dean immediately misses Cas’ touch and his body when they separate to get on each side of the bed.

“Thank you for staying with me,” Castiel murmurs when he is lying on his side.

“Anytime, Cas,” Dean whispers back, rolling onto his side so he can face Cas in the darkness. There is a small distance in between them, but it feels like miles. “Try to get some sleep, okay?”

“Okay.”

Dean doesn’t let himself fall asleep until he feels Cas has drifted off, when his breathing becomes even and peaceful. Then, when Dean is sure that Cas is alright, he lets himself fall asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, the wonderful comments, the kudos, the bookmarks and the subscriptions :')

When Dean wakes up and opens his eyes, he sees that there are only two inches between he and Cas. He also notices that their legs are tangled and that his hand is resting on Castiel’s hip.

Dean’s heart skips several beats before Dean decides to carefully move away, not wanting to wake Cas up. If Cas sees them like this, it might develop into a conversation that Dean isn’t ready to have. But as he pulls away, he notices something else; Cas’ hand is gripping his t-shirt tightly.

Dean stares at Cas’ hand, clutching the fabric and not letting go. It makes him feels a storm of feelings.

Slowly, Dean tries to extract himself from Cas’ grip, but when he is about to be free, Cas gets even closer to him, pressing his face against Dean’s chest. Dean freezes, unable to process what just happened.

Cas is unconscious in his sleep and he is probably only chasing some warmth; Dean is sure of that. Still, Cas’ actions make Dean’s heart spread a warm and tingling sensation over his whole body.

Dean remains still, unsure of what to do. He doesn’t have time to make a choice because Cas stirs in his sleep and opens his eyes, finally aware of their closeness. Immediately, he pulls away and Dean tries so hard to not let his hurt show in his face.

“I’m sorry, Dean, I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” Dean interrupts, hating the embarrassment that appears on Cas’ face. He rolls onto his back, avoiding Cas’ eyes. “Did you get some sleep?”

“Yes, I did,” Castiel answers, rolling onto his back as well, putting even more distance in between them. “I want to thank you again for staying with me last night.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Cas.”

“Still, thank you.” He turns his face to look at Dean, but Dean keeps his eyes on the wooden ceiling. He doesn’t’ want Cas to see the pain in his expressive eyes. “I would also bake you a pie, but I don’t trust my cooking skills.”

Dean chuckles and he finally decides to meet his friend’s blue eyes. “You can buy me one, though. We should probably go to town and buy groceries. You can pay for the pie.”

“Of course.”

Dean nods and looks away. He takes a deep breath and tries to suppress his hurt feelings. It’s not that hard; he has forty years of experience in hiding every single one of his feelings.

“Want some pancakes?” Dean asks as a distraction.

“I would love to,” Castiel answers, whose eyes still remain on Dean’s face, studying him.

“Okay.”

Dean nods to himself again and gets up. He isn’t brave enough to meet Cas’ stare.

***

“How do you feel about some burgers for tonight?” Dean asks. He grabs a tray of two Angus burger patties and looks at them, feeling his mouth water.

Instead of answering him, Castiel grabs the tray and puts it in the shopping cart. Dean looks at him for a moment and then he laughs.

“You could’ve at least said ‘yes’,” Dean replies.

Cas shrugs casually and says, “I could have. But that was a more satisfying answer.”

Dean laughs again. “Not gonna argue with that.” He pushes the cart through the aisles of the grocery store while Cas looks at the signs on top of each aisle, looking for the groceries they need. “We need to get some burger buns and some American cheese too.”

“Could we get Swiss cheese or Monterey cheese? Or at least some decent cheddar.”

“American cheese is a type of cheddar.”

“It’s processed cheddar.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “You’re starting to sound like Sam.”

“Your burgers are delicious. But they would be even better if they had a good cheese,” Castiel says bitterly. He turns right, going straight to the cheese section. He looks around and then he grabs some Swiss cheese and drops it into the cart.

“Since when are you an expert on cheese?”

“Since you started making me watch the Food Network with you. I might still be unable to execute the chemical processes involved in cooking, but I know about which ingredients are more suited to some foods.”

Dean looks at him with a playful smile. “We’ll see if you’re right when I make these tonight.”

Castiel simply gives him a sassy look and keeps walking.

As they approach the snacks aisle, they start to hear two teenagers talking.

“I swear to you that I wasn’t high,” the red-haired girl says. “I saw purple lights coming from the graveyard. Like some tomb had opened and light came out of it.”

Dean and Castiel look at each other.

The blue-haired girls scoffs. “You want me to believe that? It’s crazy.”

“I know it is,” the other girl says. “But that’s what I saw. And I wasn’t high. I never go to my dad’s tomb while I’m high. I know what I saw.”

“Excuse me,” Dean says, approaching the teenage girls. They both startle, being finally aware of his and Castiel’s presence. Dean fishes for his fake FBI badge in his coat’s pocket and shows it to them. “I’m agent Plant and this is my partner, agent Page.” With his head he points at Cas, who has also approached the girls. “We’re FBI agents and we’re investigating some unusual events involving purple lights.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” the blue-haired girl says, rolling his eyes.

“We are not,” Castiel deadpans. Then, he looks at the red-haired girl. “Where exactly did you see that purple light?”

The girl looks perplexed at first, probably stunned by being believed by two adults. “Uh, it was in the graveyard. I don’t know it which tomb exactly, because I saw it in the distance, but I think it was around one of the three mausoleums. The one that has a dome, I think.”

“At what time were you at the graveyard?” Dean inquires.

“Around twelve A.M. or so.”

Dean looks at Castiel and the former angel nods; that was around the time they burnt the oak’s symbol.

“Did you see anything else unusual?” Castiel asks.

“No,” the girl says. “Only that.”

“Okay. Thanks a lot for that,” Dean says. He fishes in his pocket for a fake FBI card and she hands it to the girl. “If any of you see anything unusual like that again, please, call us.”

The girl takes the card and looks at it incredulous.

Dean and Castiel walk away from the two teenagers and Dean leans into Castiel’s ear.

“We need to go to the graveyard and investigate,” Dean whispers.

“I agree,” Castiel whispers. “But we need to be extremely careful.”

“Yeah, I know.” He gives him an obvious look. The wound on his head is much better, but he still remembers the pain and most of all, Cas’ fear. “Let’s finish this and then we’ll head there.”

***

“I don’t understand why we are here in plain daylight,” Castiel comments as he and Dean walk among the tombstones. “You always insist on discretion.”

“We aren’t gonna dig up a tomb nor burn anything,” Dean explains. “We don’t even know what we’re looking for. We’re just gonna investigate and see if we find anything weird. And when we finally find something, we’ll come up with a plan. Meanwhile, we could be just two guys in a graveyard visiting someone or doing a tour.”

“Do humans do tours around graveyards?”

“Yeah,” Dean huffs. “Some want to visit the tomb of someone famous. Others just want to appreciate the art of some tombs and mausoleums. And then there are idiots who want to see ghosts or just have a passion for the darkest and most morbid parts of history.”

Castiel squints his eyes in confusion.

“Yeah, I don’t get it either,” Dean states.

They stop walking as they spot the mausoleum with a dome.

“This is the area she told us about,” Castiel comments.

Dean turns around, taking a look at the place. “The purple light could’ve come from anywhere.”

“Should we split up?”

“Yeah.”

Dean takes a look on the right side while Castiel takes a look on the left one. Dean walks around slowly, taking a good look at his surroundings, not only at the tombstones. The teenage girl told them that she thought that it came from a tomb, but Dean wants to check everything, just in case.

He keeps walking, until his eyes catch an old tombstone.

“Cas!” Dean yells. “I think I found it!”

As Dean waits for Cas to reach him, he squats in front of the tombstone, taking a good look at the three tiny symbols under the date of life and death.

“Do they look familiar to you?” Dean asks when Castiel arrives.

Castiel squats next to Dean and takes a good look at the symbols. “No, but they look similar to the one we destroyed.”

“I thought so.” He grabs his phone and takes a photo of the symbols so he can text it to Sam later. “I’ve got no idea what these could be. But if they’re like the one in the oak, and we have to destroy it…”

“We’re going to be fucked,” Castiel supplies.

Dean can’t help but smile at hearing Cas swear.

Castiel stands up and then he offers his hand to help Dean up. Dean grabs it immediately, feeling the warmth of Cas’ palm against him. He pulls his hand away the moment he is standing, but he still feels a ghost of Cas’ touch. Even his fingers still tingle.

“We should call Sam and Eileen,” Castiel says. He looks at the tombstone and then at the ground, where a coffin must be buried six feet under.

“What’re you thinking?” Dean says, noticing Cas’ pensive expression.

“I’m thinking that those symbols might be protecting something inside the coffin.”

“Yeah, I think so, too. And I’m fucking worried about what might be in there.”

***

“Good or bad news?” Dean asks when he answers the video call. He and Cas were about to start making supper, but they had to interrupt their cooking to answer Sam and Eileen.

“Both,” Eileen says. “Good news is that we found something about the symbols.”

“They are a protection,” Sam continues. “Witches usually carved those symbols on the graves of someone they knew. A family member, a friend, a lover… Anyone they loved who was mortal.”

“And those symbols are just protecting the remains of a dead person?” Castiel asks perplexed.

Sam shakes his head and takes a deep breath. “Given their love for that person, their magic created some kind of bond in between them. This bond is similar to the one that is created between witches and familiars, but it is more powerful, it is purer. And also rarer. But also, once the mortal person dies, the witch’s magical powers weaken. So, in order to keep that power, even after their loved one dies, witches created two relics. When the mortal person dies, the witch buries them with the relic, while she keeps the other relic where she lives.”

“The relics are really powerful,” Eileen adds. “Their magic allows the witch’s spells to last even when the witch has died.”

“So, that’s why the shield hasn’t disappeared yet,” Dean says.

“Did you find something about why there was light coming from the grave when we destroyed the oak’s symbol?” Castiel asks.

“The symbol in the oak makes the magic of the relics stronger,” Eileen explains. “Those symbols only made the witch even more powerful than she already was. The relics were only reacting to that loss.”

“But it barely affects them,” Sam supplies. “That’s why the shield is still there; because the real magic is in the relics.”

“I see,” Castiel murmurs.

“Okay. Just to be clear, there are two relics, one in the grave and the other in the witch’s house, right?” Dean asks.

“Yes,” Sam and Eileen say at the same time.

“So, all we need to do is destroy the relics and we’ll be free.”

“Yes, but that’s where the bad news comes,” Sam says. “You have to destroy both relics. It’s not like what happened with the symbol in oak; if you destroyed one, the others lost their magic. Both relics need to be destroyed at the same time.” 

“But we don’t know how the relics can be destroyed,” Eileen admits.

“And we also can’t access the witch’s house yet because we don’t know what type of spells are protecting it,” Castiel adds.

Dean sighs and rubs his eyes. “Fuck.”

“The relics are so rare that we haven’t found anything about their destruction in the lore yet,” Sam says. “I’m going to take a look at some of Rowena’s books, but it’s going to take me a while to translate them and decipher some of the codes.”

“Well, now at least we know what we’re dealing with, so that’s a huge progress. So thanks a lot.”

“Yes, thank you,” Castiel says.

“No problem,” Sam and Eileen say with a smile.

“Well, if you guys find something else, calls us, okay?” Dean says. “We’re gonna be here, waiting for Claire to arrive and brings us all those ingredients for the revealing spell. If we see anything else, we’ll inform you.”

“Okay.”

They say goodbye to each other. Dean closes the laptop and exhales sharply.

“This shit is getting more and more complicated,” Dean mumbles.

“Indeed, but at least we now have some answers,” Castiel says, rubbing his tired face.

“Yeah. It’s something.” He leans onto the chair’s backrest and contemplates the surface of the table. "Do you think we should wait to get the relic that’s in the grave? Or should we just go ahead and unbury it?”

“I think we should wait. We don’t know how to get rid of those protective symbols.”

“Yeah, I agree. Once we know for sure what spells are in the witch’s house, we’ll deal with those protection symbols, too.” He takes a deep breath and runs his fingers through his hair, messing it. Castiel looks at him with a soft smile. “What?”

“Your hair is messy,” Castiel answers. His hand reaches for Dean’s hair, barely brushing it, but Dean still ends up staring at Cas with longing. “It looks nice.”

Dean blushes and watches how Cas pulls his hand away. He still has a soft smile on his lips and every fiber in Dean’s body is telling him to remove the distance and just kiss him. Instead, he runs his hand through his hair again, messing it even more, earning him a lovely grin from Cas.

He might be unable to kiss Cas, but at least he still can make him smile, which is something Dean loves. Even if seeing Cas makes him want to kiss him even more. But he doesn’t mind paying that small price.

“C’mon, let’s make supper, I’m hungry, and I also want to know if your Swiss cheese makes things better or worse,” Dean says as he stands up.

“You will probably say it makes things worse so you don’t have to admit that I was right,” Castiel sasses as he follows Dean to the counter.

“That’s because every time you’re right you can’t shut the hell up about it.”

“I believe you are talking about yourself now, Dean.”

Dean closes the fridge’s door with his foot and glares Cas. “You’re way worse, trust me.” He hands Cas the tomato, so he can slice it. “I’m gonna put on some music, you okay with that?”

“Of course.”

Dean puts his phone on the counter and he plays some music, filling the kitchen with some of his favorite songs. While Cas cuts the tomato, Dean peels the potatoes for the French fries. It doesn’t take him too long to start singing along, shaking his head at some of the tunes or tapping his foot on the floor. Castiel looks at him from the corner of his eyes, giving him a subtle but sweet smile. He also sings the songs he knows, and Dean feels happy by having Cas there, helping him with their supper, enjoying a simple moment.

After the tomato, Castiel washes the lettuce and then cuts it, while Dean slices some onion just for him, because Cas despises raw onion. While they do that, Dean is waiting for the oil in the fryer to acquire a high temperature. When that happens, Dean carefully puts the fries in the sizzling oil and Cas washes the utensils.

Once the fries are almost ready, Dean puts the burger patties on the grill and Castiel toasts the bun in the toaster. When the burgers are done on one side, Dean flips them and he puts the slices of Swiss cheese on them, letting them melt.

When the buns are toasted, Castiel places them on two plates and Dean immediately puts a patty on each bun.

“Put all the toppings while I finish the fries, please,” Dean says.

“Of course.”

Dean puts the hot fries on a plate and adds a pinch of salt. He turns around to see how Cas finishes the burgers. For Dean’s he covers the top bun with a lot of ketchup, while for his he adds both ketchup and mayonnaise.

“Thanks, Cas.”

“No problem,” Castiel says.

Castiel brings the burgers to the table while Dean brings the fries. They sit next to each other and Dean immediately grabs his burger to take a big bite. Castiel instead, watches Dean eat, giving him a curious and expectant look.

“Well?” Castiel asks when Dean turns to look at him.

Dean lets out a defeated sigh. “Yeah, you were right.”

“Thank you,” Castiel says before grabbing his burger. “I told you so.”

“Shut up, you dick.”

Castiel grins and takes a bite of his burger, making a tiny moan. Dean immediately blushes.

***

“Claire estimates that she will arrive to Spokane before lunch,” Castiel announces as he gets in bed.

“That’s good,” Dean says. “That means you can rest your lazy ass until late in the morning.”

“You keep pointing that I enjoy getting up late, but since we arrived to this cabin, you haven’t gotten up early either.”

“That’s ‘cause we don’t have to do anything important nor be anywhere.”

Castiel chuckles. “Keep telling yourself that, Dean.”

“You’re a pain in the ass, Cas.”

Castiel simply rolls his eyes. He tugs the sheet, making sure that he is properly covered.

“You cold?” Dean asks.

“Yes,” Castiel answers.

“It’s not really that cold.”

Castiel glares him and moves his foot to the left, finding Dean’s.

“Holy shit!” Dean exclaims, pulling away from Cas’ freezing foot. “Don’t do that!”

“You didn’t believe me,” Castiel protests, squinting his eyes. “I wanted to prove my point.”

“You didn’t need to prove your point like that!”

“How are you so warm? You are like a stove.”

Dean snorts, but then, Cas quickly presses his foot against Dean’s. Dean yelps, while Castiel, the teasing bastard, is smirking.

“Stop it!” Dean yells as he shoves Cas away. “I’m gonna kick you out of bed if you keep doing that.”

Castiel stays in his place, without reaching for Dean’s warm feet. He chuckles, clearly amused by this silliness. Dean would also enjoy it too if his foot hadn’t lost its warmth.

“I’m sorry,” Castiel says as he rolls onto his side. He gives Dean a sweet smile and Dean finds it hard to remain mad at him. “But I couldn’t help myself.”

He turns his face to look at Cas, aware of how close they are. “I’m gonna take my revenge sooner or later,” Dean says with a wicked grin.

Castiel arches an eyebrow. “Will you?”

“Oh, yeah. Don’t think I’m gonna forget this. So don’t think about getting your freezing feet close to me again or you’ll have to face the consequences.”

Castiel presses his lips into a thin line, trying to suppress a smile. “I’m really intrigued about your revenge plan.”

“You’ll see, don’t worry.”

Castiel chuckles and then rolls onto his back. His hand reaches for the switch and he turns off the lights.

“Maybe I’ll get rid of all the coffee in the cabin,” Dean considers out loud.

“We both know that you wouldn’t do that,” Castiel tells him.

“And why not?”

“Because you hate dealing with me when I’m decaffeinated.”

Dean hums. “True.”

“Besides, that would make you cruel, which you aren’t.”

A wave of shame runs through his body. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Cas,” Dean whispers into the dark. He feels Cas rolling onto his side next to him, aware of the seriousness in his voice. “I can be pretty cruel sometimes. You know that.”

Castiel reaches for his shoulder and the warmth of his hand goes through Dean’s t-shirt. It is surprising, considering that Cas’ feet are freezing.

“You aren’t cruel, Dean,” Castiel assures. “You’re kind and sweet.”

Dean chuckles bitterly. “I’m pretty sure you’re talking about somebody else.”

“I am not. I’m talking about you.”

“Did you think that I was kind or sweet when I kicked you out of the bunker when you became human for the first time? Or when I got so angry after mom died that I kept hurting you and forced you to leave and didn’t even go after you?”

Dean exhales sharply and looks away. Even if he can’t see Castiel’s eyes in the dark, he can feel them on him. He doesn’t want Cas to notice that his eyes are getting glassy.

“Dean,” Castiel says, and it sounds like a prayer. His other hand reaches for Dean’s cheek, and Dean sighs shakily. Tenderly, Castiel tilts Dean’s face so they can see each other in the dark. “I know that Gadreel forced you to kick me out of the bunker. I was hurt at first, but then, when you told me the reason of why I had to leave, I understood your decision and I forgave you. And when I left a year ago, I was hurt and sad; more that I have ever been in my life. But when I came back, we found a way to make things right again, even if it took us longer than usual. What matters is that you still wanted to make things right. And I think that makes you kind and sweet.”

Dean stares at Cas’ face and doesn’t say a word.

“We both have a long history of mistakes and we both have hurt each other along the way,” Castiel proceeds. “But we always try to do our best to fix whatever gets broken in between us. And I think that’s really important.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Dean manages to murmur.

Dean isn’t sure, but he thinks Cas might be smiling right now.

Castiel goes back to his side of the bed, and Dean forces his body to remain still in order to avoid chasing Cas’ touch. He can still feel the warmth of Cas’ touches on him, and he focuses on them to calm the anxiety that always comes with his self-loathing.

“Goodnight, Dean,” Castiel murmurs.

“Goodnight, Cas,” Dean whispers.

“And sweet dreams.”

Dean suppresses a wail and manages to say, “You, too.”

As he closes his eyes, tears fall down. He suppresses his sobs, not wanting Cas to hear him and get worried.

After a while, Dean eventually falls asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the comments, the kudos, the bookmarks and the subscriptions :')

It’s around nine A.M. when Dean wakes up. Once again, he and Cas are both clutching to each other. Dean has his hand on Cas’ chest while Cas has his hand on Dean’s hip.

Carefully, Dean extracts himself from Cas, who is still asleep. He slightly stirs when Dean gets up, and Dean makes sure to cover Cas under the sheets, so he can still be warm. Castiel lets out a tiny sigh and Dean walks to the bathroom to take a shower. He would have wanted to remain in bed with Cas, but he knows he shouldn’t.

He can’t stop thinking about Cas’ words. Dean doesn’t know how it is possible, but Cas seems to see the best of Dean. He sometimes talks about Dean as if he was someone worthy, someone he is proud to know and to have in his life. Dean doesn’t know how Cas can think any of those things after all the shit Dean has done over the years.

Dean exhales sharply and closes his eyes, letting the hot water fall onto his body, calming him.

One day Cas is going to see what a piece of shit Dean is, and he is going to leave for good.

He wonders why Cas decided to stick with him and Sam. He could have gone anywhere and still, he decided to remain with them. Maybe Cas is still adjusting to being human and he needs some familiarity. But once he has figured things out, he will leave, whether because Cas wants to experience things he can’t find with the Winchesters, or because Dean fucks up and makes him leave.

It will happen eventually; Dean knows it.

He starts sobbing, letting out the pain and the sadness, hoping that the sound of the shower mutes his sounds of anguish.

When he is done, he washes himself and then gets out of the shower to dry himself and get dressed. After that, he walks back to the bedroom to put on his boots.

“Dean?” Castiel asks in a sleepy voice when Dean sits on the bed. “What are you doing awake already?”

Dean huffs. “This might surprise you, but not everyone is a lazy ass like you.”

He hears the rustle of the sheets behind him, and Cas touches the small of his back, startling him. IT’s a soft but a firm touch. “Dean, are you alright?”

Dean is an expert in keeping a façade when he is feeling like shit, but somehow, Cas always manages to see through his cracks.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be alright?” Dean answers, still not looking at Cas. He knows his friend is about to say something to contradict him, so Dean keeps talking, “I’m thinking about making some breakfast burritos. Unless you want something different.”

“Breakfast burritos sound good,” Castiel says.

“Great.”

Dean finishes lacing his boots while Castiel gets up. Dean is so focused on his boots that he doesn’t notice Cas approaching him until he is in front of him.

“Dean, look at me,” Castiel says. There is that worried tone that makes Dean’s heart ache. Dean clenches his jaw, unable to look at him yet. Castiel sighs and his hand cups Dean’s face, lifting his face until their eyes meet. “Dean, what’s wrong?”

And Dean wants just to tell him. He wants to tell him that he loves him and that he wants Cas to love him, too. He wants to tell him that he is scared because he hurts those he loves. He wants to tell him that he wants him to stay with him and that he is terrified of losing him. He wants to tell him that he is afraid that he will never be enough for Cas, that he will eventually see that Dean is a piece of shit. He wants to tell him that what’s wrong is that he loves him so much and that they can’t be together because Dean is not someone worth loving.

He wants to tell Cas so much, but he physically can’t. His words turn into dust in his mouth and his heart aches so much from just the idea of putting words to his complicated emotions.

And meanwhile, Cas is still looking at him with those beautiful blue eyes, caring so much about Dean, and his hand is still cupping Dean’s face, as if he was someone precious, as if Dean could be someone worthy of Cas’ love. And Dean loves him, he loves Cas so much, and yet, he can’t have him, because Cas deserves someone who isn’t a fucked up hunter.

“Dean, please, talk to me,” Castiel pleads.

“I—” Dean begins. He doesn’t know what to say, but he can’t pretend that he is fine. Cas can see through his bullshit. But he needs to give something credible. And half-truths are always a good option. “I’m still thinking about what you said last night.”

Castiel’s brows knit together. “About you being kind and sweet?”

Dean nods absently and draws his eyes away from Castiel’s. “I’m not that man, Cas. And you know it.”

“You’re wrong, Dean.”

“Cas—”

“I know who you are, Dean Winchester. I have known you for over a decade, I have rebuilt your soul, I have seen you at your darkest and at your brightest, and I have been your best friend for all this time. I know you well, Dean. So believe me when I say that I do know you and that despite your few flaws, you are extraordinary.”

Dean gapes at him, unable to utter a single word. Cas sounds and looks so sure of his words. He is looking at Dean with determination, and for the first time in his life, Dean considers that maybe, behind all his shit, there might be something in him that could be worthy. Even if it is just something tiny.

“I think you are overrating me, Cas,” Dean manages to mumble after a few seconds.

“I am not,” Castiel insists. “May I remind you that you always complain about how honest I am all the time? I’m always honest, Dean. Especially with you, and you know that.”

Dean nods and closes his eyes, unable to bear the intensity of Cas’ eyes on him anymore. He takes a long and deep breath, realizing how tense his body feels.

Cas’ other hand comes to cup Dean’s face as well, and both of his thumbs stroke Dean’s cheeks. Dean opens his eyes, and he sees there is something soft in Cas’ eyes, something Dean can’t put a name to, like some sort of adoration. Part of Dean thinks that Cas shouldn’t look at him like that, that he doesn’t deserve it.

“You should be proud of who you are, Dean,” Castiel says with a tender and deep voice that makes Dean’s spine tingle. “I know you don’t believe it, but there is so much worth in you.”

Dean closes his eyes and feels his eyes getting humid, but he suppresses his tears. “Okay, Cas. Okay.”

Castiel gets his arms around Dean, pulling him into a hug. Dean surrenders and buries his face in Cas’ stomach and gets his hands on the small of Cas’ back, not wanting to let go. He finally sheds some tears, damping Cas’ t-shirt, but the fallen angel doesn’t mind at all. He holds Dean tightly, and runs his fingers through Dean’s hair.

They stay like that for a minute. When Dean has calmed down, Castiel looks at him. There is a small smile on his lips, but his eyes reveal that he is still worried. Dean stands up and gives him a comforting smile.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean says, feeling better, but also quite ashamed of himself.

“No problem, Dean.”

Dean nods and sighs. “Okay, I’m gonna make those breakfast burritos.” He rubs his face and nods to himself before going to the kitchen.

***

Desperate for a distraction, Dean decides to go to the porch and read _The Hobbit_. Cas is sitting next to him, sketching the woods in front of them. When Cas became human, he started to draw every now and then, because he finds it relaxing.

They are so comfortable in their quietness that both of them startle when Dean’s phone rings.

Dean fishes for it and looks at the ID caller. “It’s Claire,” Dean says to Cas before he answers the phone, putting it on speaker. “Hey, Claire, what’s up?”

“I’ve got a problem,” Claire says.

“What problem?” Dean and Castiel at the same time, looking at each other.

“I’m trying to get to the cabin, but I can’t because there’s a freaking purple shield blocking my way.”

“What?” Dean asks.

“How is that possible?” Castiel inquires.

“No idea,” Claire answers. “But I’m stuck here.”

“In which road are you?” Dean says.

“I’m on the east road. I don’t know the number.”

“Don’t worry, we know where you are. Stay right where you are. We’ll meet you there in a couple of minutes.”

“Okay.”

Claire hangs up and Dean and Castiel exchange a look.

“Why does the shield affect her?” Castiel asks. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“I don’t know, Cas. Let’s just go and meet Claire.”

***

They see Claire on the side of the road, sitting on the hood of the car. Dean parks the Impala on the side of the road too, in front of Claire’s car. She jumps from the hood as they leave the Impala.

“Hey, guys,” Claire says, keeping the distance in between them.

“Hello, Claire,” Castiel says as the same time Dean says, “Hey, kiddo.”

She smiles at the two of them. “Look at this.” She takes a few steps towards them, until the purple shield appears in front of her, stopping her. “It’s blocking me.”

“I don’t understand why it’s affecting you,” Castiel comments with a frown.

“Yeah, the witch casted the spell to me and Cas, so, why the hell does it affect you?” Dean mutters.

Claire shrugs. “I was expecting you to have some answers. I just came here.”

Dean glares her.

“What if the shield also affects Claire because she has come to help us?” Castiel wonders.

Dean frowns. “What do you mean?”

“This shield is some sort of prison, and maybe, like in prisons, we aren’t allowed to receive visitors in.”

“That sounds a little crazy, doesn’t it?” Claire says.

“Trust me, it makes sense,” Dean says with a grimace. “We’re not only trapped, we’re isolated. Awesome, fucking awesome.” He turns around, shaking his head in frustration. “How are we gonna get the things we need for the spell if we’re isolated?”

“I might have a solution for that,” Claire answers. Dean turns around and he and Castiel look at her intrigued. “While I was waiting for you two, I kicked a rock, because I was pissed at the shield, and this happened.” From the side of the road, she grabs a rock and throws it to Dean’s and Castiel’s feet, where it lands without any problem.

“The shield didn’t appear,” Castiel says as he picks up the rock.

“Nope. I can’t walk in, but I can throw stuff in.”

“What the hell?” Dean asks.

Castiel throws the rock towards Claire, but this time, the purple shield appears and the rock reminds on their side.

“Interesting,” Castiel says.

“Yeah, it’s fucking fascinating,” Dean snaps, making Castiel glare him. Dean just turns to look at Claire. “You think you can give us the ingredients for the spell?”

“Yeah. They’re in a box, so I’ll just slide it to you,” Claire answers. She walks towards the trunk of her car and then she walks back to them, carrying a cardboard box in her hands. Carefully, she drops it to the tarmac. “Ready?”

“Yes,” Dean and Castiel say.

Claire nods and she pushes the box towards them. The shield doesn’t appear and Dean and Castiel let out a relieved sigh.

“At least we can still get parcels,” Dean says happily as he grabs the box.

“Thank you so much, Claire,” Castiel says.

She nods. “No problem. I hope you guys can soon get out of here.”

“We’ll try. But it’s gonna take us a while,” Dean says.

“You’ll figure it out, eventually.”

She waves at them and then she walks back to her car.

***

After supper, Dean and Castiel drive to the witch’s house, carrying the ingredients they need for the spell.

Once they are parked in front of her house, they start to pour all the ingredients in the bowl, except for Castiel’s blood.

“We could use my blood, you know?” Dean says when he has dropped the flower of the Himalaya. “You already used your blood for that spell at the McDonalds.”

“It’s a simple cut on my forearm, Dean,” Castiel says as he crushes the ingredients. “Besides, it is better if I am the one to do this spell. Your speed of reaction is faster than mine; if something happens or someone comes, you will be able to act on time while the spell keeps me in trance.”

“Well thought.” Dean nods and he grabs from the back seat a notebook and a pen. “You ready?”

“I am.”

“Okay.”

They exit the Impala and walk the house. Cas carries the bowl with the crushed ingredients while Dean carries the notebook and the pen. They stop in front of the main door and Castiel places the bowl on the marble floor. Dean does the same with the notebook, but keeps the pen in a pocket.

They both kneel in front of the bowl. Castiel rolls his sleeve and Dean grabs his knife.

“This will hurt,” Dean warns. He cuts Cas’ skin, watching how the blood begins to appear, running down the skin and falling onto the bowl. Dean pulls away the knife, feeling his stomach twist. He knows this is necessary, but he hates seeing Cas bleed. “Give me your arm,” Dean says when there is enough blood in the bowl.

Castiel looks at him intrigued and confused, but he gives Dean his arm. From one of his jacket’s pockets, Dean grabs some bandage and plaster, putting it on Cas’ cut.

“You could have waited until the spell was done,” Castiel says, sounding touched.

“And let you bleed and get some infection? No fucking way,” Dean says as he covers Cas’ cut.

Cas smiles shyly. “Thank you, Dean.”

Dean nods and hums.

When he is done with Cas’ cut, Castiel starts mixing his blood with the rest of the ingredients until he is satisfied. Then, he dips his fingers onto the blend and he stands up. He approaches the door and he begins to paint the symbol Sam drew them on a note.

Dean grabs the notebook and stands up as well. He gets the pen from his pocket and waits for Cas to be done with the symbol. When that happens, Dean hands him both the notebook and the pen.

“The incantation is written in there,” Dean tells him.

Castiel nods and opens the notebook. Before he starts reading out loud, he holds the pen on his right hand.

Castiel recites the incantation. The symbol turns purple and Castiel’s eyes turn purple. His right hand begins to write on the notebook automatically, without taking his eyes from the symbol. Dean watches him, feeling unsettled. It looks as if Cas wasn’t there, and his hand keeps moving through the paper fast, in its own accord.

Suddenly, the symbol stops shining and disappears completely. Castiel’s eyes return to normal and his hand stops moving. The fallen angel sighs tiredly and his legs fail him. Dean quickly reacts and grabs Cas before he can meet the floor.

“Hey, hey, Cas,” Dean says, extremely worried. He hears how the notebook and the pen fall onto the floor, but he doesn’t care. Cas is pale and his eyes seem unfocused. “Cas, can you hear me?”

“Yes,” Castiel answers. He blinks and he seems to finally focus on Dean’s face.

“You okay?” Dean asks, cupping his best friend’s face.

“I’m a bit tired, that’s all.”

As he finishes saying that, some blood falls down his nose.

“Shit,” Dean says. “Let’s sit down for a minute, okay?” Carefully, he eases Cas onto the floor, until he sits, and then Dean kneels in front of him and reaches for a tissue. “Here you go, buddy.” Castiel takes the tissue and he puts it under his nose. “Do you feel dizzy?”

“No. Just tired. As if I hadn’t gotten a good night of sleep.”

Dean nods absently. He is still worried about Cas, even though he is regaining his color and he now seems to be fully present there.

“Where is the notebook?” Castiel asks.

Dean looks around and grabs the notebook, seeing the list of spells Cas wrote. “You wrote the name of seven spells.”

“That’s a lot.”

“Yeah.” Dean closes the notebook and keeps looking at Cas. “It’s gonna take Sam and Eileen a long time to figure a way to break all of them.”

“I believe this case is turning to be a real pain in the ass.”

Dean chuckles at that. “I’m turning you into a foul-mouthed.”

“Sometimes cursing helps expressing one’s emotions,” Castiel affirms. He removes the tissue and stares at the red spot. “It exacerbates your feelings.”

“I don’t think everyone would agree on that.”

Castiel shrugs and then he presses his hand against his nose. When he pulls it away, he sees that he isn’t bleeding anymore. “We should go back to the cabin.”

“We can wait a little bit more if you aren’t feeling well.”

“I’m good, Dean,” Castiel assures.

He gets up slowly, not trusting his body completely. Dean stands up quickly, watching out in case Cas falls down, but the fallen angel seems alright.

“Let me get all this stuff first and then we’ll head to the Impala,” Dean says.

***

“Eat this,” Dean says as he gives Cas a Kit Kat bar. “It’ll make you feel better.”

Castiel grabs the chocolate bar and unwraps it. Dean sits next to him on the bed and watches him break one of the sections of the chocolate and then another. He offers Dean one piece.

“I’m good, Cas, but thanks,” Dean says with a soft smile.

Castiel nods and starts eating the crunchy chocolate.

“If tomorrow you wanna stay in bed the whole day, I won’t complain,” Dean says.

Castiel chuckles and looks at him with an arched brow. “So in order to make you stop complaining about me enjoying being in bed, all I have to do is have a nosebleed and almost faint, right?”

Dean grins. “Kind of, yeah.”

Castiel huffs and keeps eating the chocolate bar.

“How’s the cut? Does it hurt?” Dean inquires.

“It’s fine,” Castiel answers. “It was a clean cut.”

Dean nods. He takes the wrapper form Cas’ hands and he walks to the kitchen to throw it to the trash. When he goes back to the bedroom, Cas has almost finished the Kit Kat. He leans against the doorframe and watches Cas.

“I’m fine, Dean. Stop worrying,” Castiel says when he finishes eating.

“I can’t help it, man,” Dean says.

Castiel smiles. “I know. You always care too much.”

“I could say the same thing about you.”

They both chuckle at that.

Then, they both walk towards the closet to change into their pajamas. As always, Dean tries to avoid looking at Cas while he undresses next to him.

After that, they get on the bed, and Castiel lets out a relieved sigh and closes his eyes.

“I’ll switch off the lights,” Dean says, looking for the switch on his side.

“Not yet,” Castiel says. “We can still talk a little.”

Dean flicks his eyes at him and gives him a curious look. “Talk about what?”

“I don’t know. Anything.” He opens his eyes and turns his face to look at Dean. “I enjoy talking with you before we fall asleep. It’s nice.”

Embarrassed but delighted, Dean can’t help but huff and look away as he settles on the bed again, ignoring the switch. “Yeah, it’s nice.” He turns his face to look at Cas, hoping that his cheeks don’t look so flushed. “What do you wanna talk about?”

Castiel makes a thoughtful face and rolls onto his side. “We are going to be stuck in Spokane for a while,” Castiel starts to say. Dean finds himself rolling onto his side, wanting to be face to face with Cas. “Maybe you could finally teach me how to cook.”

“You serious?”

“Yes.”

Dean snorts. “You’re a fucking terrible cook, Cas. You’d probably burn the cabin down.”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “You’re being dramatic, Dean.”

“Okay, maybe not the cabin, just the kitchen.”

Castiel glares him. “I want to learn how to cook, Dean. It is a really useful skill. I don’t want to depend on other people’s cooking skills in the future.”

Dean panics at those words. Is Cas telling him that he is leaving in the future?

“What do you mean in the future?” Dean answers, fear filling his voice.

Castiel pales and looks away.

“Cas?” Dean insists. “Are you—” He stutters his words, so afraid to ask the question that always haunts him, but he pushes himself to finally ask, “Are you gonna leave?”

“No,” Castiel says, meeting his eyes. Dean sighs, relieved, but then something sad comes into Castiel’s eyes and the fallen angel looks away. “Unless you want me to.”

“No!” Dean exclaims, startling both of them. “No, Cas, no. I don’t want you to leave. Why would I want that?”

“I don’t know,” Castiel answers, and Dean knows it is a lie.

“Cas, why do you think I would ever want you to leave?”

Castiel takes a deep breath, but doesn’t meet Dean’s eyes. When he finally speaks, it is only a whisper.

“Because you might think that I’m a burden now that I’m human.”

“I’d never think that, Cas,” Dean says.

Castiel looks at him with disbelief, and Dean understands the look, because that’s the way he looks at Cas when he tells him something good about him, something Dean can’t begin to believe in. It is strange to see that Cas self-doubts himself, that he also has insecurities.

“So that’s why you wanna learn how to cook?” Dean asks. “Because you think you’re gonna be on your own someday?”

“Yes,” Castiel murmurs.

“Cas, I— I want you around all the time,” Dean confesses, feeling how his whole face blushes. “I like having you around a lot. I’ve always had. I don’t care whether you’re an angel or a human or anything else; I like it when you are under the same roof as I am.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not good at saying stuff.” He huffs and gives Cas an apologetic smile.

“You are better than you think you are.”

“Not sure about that, buddy.” He knows he will never be good with words. “Anyway, I want you to know that I’m never gonna tell you to leave, Cas.”

“Okay.” It is a simple word, but Cas manages to put so much emotion in it.

“Okay,” Dean echoes, smiling.

“But I still want to learn how to cook,” Castiel says after a brief silence.

Dean chuckles. “Fine, I’ll teach you something. I promise. But we should probably buy a fire extinguisher, just in case.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and glares him. “Dean, I have commanded armies in Heaven, I rescued you from Hell, I helped you stop several apocalypses; I think I can manage a stove.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Dean teases with a grin.

Castiel gives him his deadliest glare and rolls onto his back, clearly pissed. “You’re insufferable.”

Dean chuckles. “Yeah, I know.”

Castiel hums in agreement.

Without thinking it twice, Dean approaches Cas, leaving only an inch in between them. Cas immediately stops glaring the ceiling to give his attention to Dean. He must notice something strange in Dean’s face, because Cas’ face softens and his expression becomes worried.

“What is it?” Castiel inquires.

“What if—” Dean begins, looking for his courage to ask another question that he is afraid to ask. “What if one day you decide to leave?”

Castiel stares at him in confusion. “Leave?”

“Yeah. What if one day you get tired of me— us, and you decide that you wanna leave for good?”

“Dean,” Castiel says, rolling again onto his side. Their faces almost touch. Dean feels the need to give them some space so he can’t do something stupid, like lean into Cas and kiss him, but he remains there, captivated by Cas’ blue eyes. “There is no place I would rather be than by your side.”

At that confession, Dean can only stare at Cas in shocked silence. Cas wants to stay with them, with him. He can’t believe what he is hearing, but he knows that Cas means it. Cas wants to stay. Cas isn’t going anywhere.

Those words have lifted a heavy weight from Dean’s body.

He knows that things could still go wrong and Cas might actually leave for good one day, but unless that happens, Cas is staying. Cas wants to stay, no matter what.

“Okay,” Dean finally manages to say, overwhelmed by those wonderful words Cas has just said. “Okay, yeah, that’s— That’s good.”

Castiel gives him a timid smile and Dean mirrors it.

“Okay, well—” Dean clears his throat and rolls onto his back, suddenly aware of their proximity. His heart feels like it is about to explode from happiness. “We’ll cook something for lunch together, if that’s alright. Maybe something with the oven, ‘cause that’s safer.”

Castiel huffs and glares him. “I don’t know why you are so terrified of me using the stove.”

“We had to throw away the pan when you decided to make scrambled eggs,” Dean reminds him.

“It was a minor accident.”

“A minor accident? Geez, I hope I never get to know what a major accident in the kitchen is like for you.”

Castiel grunts. “Shut up, and switch off the lights, Dean.”

Dean chuckles and does as he is told. “Night, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

Dean closes his eyes and smiles, feeling so happy about knowing that Cas isn’t going to leave, that he wants to stay. This morning Dean couldn’t stop thinking that Cas would eventually leave and now he is in bed, knowing that he was wrong.

He still thinks that there is a slight chance that he will fuck up somehow, resulting into Cas’ departure, but knowing that Cas doesn’t have any plans of leaving, is extremely reassuring. It also means that Dean has to think about his feelings for Cas and their situation.

But he will think about that eventually, for now, he is going to fall asleep, happy to know that Cas isn’t going anywhere.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go with another update. Thank you so much for reading, for the comments, the kudos, the bookmarks and the subscritions :')

Dean and Cas have their hands clenching each other’s t-shirts when Dean wakes up.

How is it possible that they always end up getting close to each other in the night? How is it that their hands find each other in their sleep? Dean knows why he does that, but he wonders why Cas does it. Cas is probably chasing some warmth and safety, but a tiny part of Dean hopes that Cas also wants to be closer to Dean.

Dean exhales sharply and looks at Castiel, sleeping so close to him. He quickly notices a thin trail of dried blood that fell from his nose to his upper lip.

“Cas?” Dean asks, worried. He shakes his friend, wanting to wake him up to make sure that he is alright.

Castiel grunts in discomfort and presses his head against the pillow. Somehow, his hand remains on Dean’s t-shirt.

“Cas, are you alright?” Dean says, still shaking him.

“No,” Castiel grumbles against the pillow. “You’re waking me up against my will.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Your nose bled again while you were sleeping. I’m worried about what that spell might’ve done to you.”

Castiel grunts and moves his face just enough so one of his eyes can open and glare Dean. “Did you just wake me up for a simple nosebleed?”

“Yeah,” Dean answers defensively.

Castiel groans and closes his eye. He moves away the hand on Dean’s t-shirt and places it under the pillow. “Is this your revenge for when I kept trying to touch you with my freezing foot?”

“No, dude. I’m worried, okay? The side effects of that spell shouldn’t last this long.”

“It’s only a nosebleed, Dean.”

“Are you hurting anywhere?”

“Yes, my head hurts because you woke me up,” Castiel sasses.

“I’m worried about you, asshole,” Dean mutters.

Castiel sighs and looks at Dean, finally opening both eyes. “I’m fine, Dean. There is nothing to worry about.”

Dean looks at him and nods, although he isn’t completely convinced. “Okay.”

“Can we just go back to sleep, please?”

Dean huffs. “Yeah, sure. We can sleep until ten.”

Castiel sighs delighted as he closes his eyes and rubs his cheek against the pillow. “Thank you.”

“No problem, you lazy ass.”

Castiel kicks his shin and Dean chuckles.

***

“I’m going for a run,” Castiel announces.

Dean looks away from the hood of the Impala and gives Cas a questioning look. “Why?”

Castiel frowns, clearly confused by Dean’s question. “Because I like running.”

“How can you like running?”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “Not everyone despises exercise like you do, Dean.”

“Hunting and sex are already enough exercise for me,” Dean says as he flicks his eyes back to the Impala. He likes checking his Baby at least once every week, to make sure that everything is fine.

“I don’t think any of those activities can be considered exercises.”

“You burn calories in both of them.”

Even though Dean can’t see him properly, he knows that Cas is rolling his eyes.

“You sure you’re okay to go for a run?” Dean asks, pulling away from the Impala to give all his attention to Cas. “That spell—”

“Dean,” Castiel interrupts. “I told you that I’m fine. If I wasn’t feeling good, I wouldn’t go for a run.”

“Okay, yeah. Yeah, I— Just be careful, okay?”

Cas gives him a soft smile. “I will.”

Dean simply nods and then Castiel starts running towards the woods. Dean watches him until Cas is a small dot in the distance. Then, he keeps working on his beloved car. In his chest, he feels a sting of worry.

***

Dean is in the kitchen sink, washing his hands from motor oil when he hears Cas coming back to the cabin.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel says.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean says without taking his eyes from his hands. “How was the run?”

“It was good.”

“Yeah?” He closes the tap and turns to look at Cas, who is sweating a lot. His t-shirt is stuck to his skin, his face looks shiny and part of his hair is stuck to his forehead. It’s a really good sight in Dean’s opinion. “Dude, you’re covered in sweat.”

“I know,” Castiel grunts as he approaches the sink. He grabs a glass and fills it with water. Dean watches Cas’ throat as his friend drinks, noticing the few drops of sweat that run down his tanned skin. When he is done, Castiel lets out a relieved sigh. “The human body can sweat so much.”

Dean chuckles and looks away, aware of the heat on his cheeks. “You’ve got no idea.”

“I’m going to take a shower,” Castiel announces and he takes off his t-shirt as if Dean wasn’t standing in front of him.

Dean manages to suppress a groan in time. He looks at Cas’ torso, covered in sweat. He stares at his strong muscles, at his sharp hipbones, at his Enochian tattoo, at his wide chest, at his collarbone, at all the beautiful tanned skin. Dean can’t tear his gaze away and feels his mouth getting extremely dry.

“Sweating is an abomination,” Castiel grumbles as he stares at his t-shirt.

He looks at Dean and Dean quickly meets his eyes. He doesn’t want to be caught staring at Cas’ glorious torso. Castiel gives him a curious look and Dean fears that Cas might have noticed him staring. His friend approaches him, and Dean opens his eyes widely. He would take a step back if he didn’t have the counter pressed against the small of his back. Cas is suddenly there in his space, topless and looking at him. He feels Cas’ warmth so close to him, and Dean wants to remove those few inches that separate them and press Cas against him and kiss him.

“You have some oil stain here,” Castiel murmurs with a soft smile as his fingers brush Dean’s cheek.

“Oh,” Dean simply says.

“Here, let me.” Castiel grabs a cloth and he wipes Dean’s cheek clean.

While he does that, Dean forces himself to look at Cas’ face, but his eyes keep drifting towards Cas’ lips, wanting to know what it feels like to kiss him, wanting to feel Cas’ stubble on his face, wanting to be pressed against his strong body. He tries so hard to not think about that, because he is already feeling how his blood is going south, but Cas is making things so hard. Both metaphorically and literally.

Finally, Castiel finishes wiping his cheek and he takes a step back. Dean almost pulls him back to him, but he remains still, not wanting to make a mistake. Another part of him feels slightly relieved.

“Thanks,” Dean manages to whisper.

“You’re welcome, Dean,” Castiel smiles sweetly, completely oblivious of the effect he has on Dean, who doesn’t know if he should grateful or frustrated by that. “I’m going to take that shower now.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you stink,” Dean jokes, desperate for a distraction.

Castiel rolls his eyes but he smiles.

Dean watches him and when Cas closes the bathroom door, Dean opens the tap and splashes some cold water on his face.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Dean mutters.

If Cas wasn’t in the shower, Dean would be there, taking a long and cold one.

Instead, he grabs a cold beer from the fridge and walks out, to the Impala. He sits on the hood and takes a long sip of his beer. He closes his eyes, feeling the chilly breeze of the upcoming autumn, focusing on the sounds of the leaves rustling.  
It is a good distraction.

***

“You’re gonna make some pizza for lunch,” Dean announces.

Castiel looks at all the ingredients settled on the counter and then he flicks his eyes to Dean. 

“Dean, I don’t know how to make pizza.”

“I know, that’s why I’m gonna teach you,” Dean explains with a smirk. “I’ll tell you every step and supervise you, but you’re gonna make like ninety percent of the pizza.”

Castiel keeps staring at him.

“C’mon, Cas. You wanted to learn, remember?” Dean says as he approaches the sink. “First things first, wash your hands always. No matter what you’re cooking. Always wash your hands.”

Castiel approaches the sink and he washes his hands thoroughly.

“Now,” Dean continues after they have dried their hands. “We’re gonna start with the dough. You’re gonna use that cup and measure the ingredients as I tell you and you’re gonna drop them in the bowl, okay?”

“Okay,” Castiel answers.

“But first, you’re gonna proof the yeast.”

Dean tells him to get some warm water in a recipient and then drop the yeast into it. Then, he tells him to mix it and wait until they have the other ingredients ready. Dean starts listing the cups needed for the flour, the salt, the sugar and the olive oil. When that’s done, Dean instructs Cas to pour the water with yeast onto the bowl and start mixing all the ingredients.

“Keep mixing until the dough feels sticky,” Dean tells him.

Castiel nods and keeps working on the dough.

Meanwhile, Dean spreads some olive oil on another bowl, making sure that it is fully covered. He looks at Cas, keeping a concentrated face while he does his task, and Dean finds himself smiling.

“That’s good, Cas. Now put the dough here,” Dean says, pointing at his bowl. Castiel does as he is told and then Dean rolls the dough until it is completely coated in oil. “Now, we’re gonna let the dough rise for an hour. For that, we’re gonna cover the bowl with plastic wrap and leave it on the counter.” He gets the plastic wrap and does what he just explained. “And while we wait, we’re gonna wash this stuff and then, you’re gonna prepare some marinara sauce.”

“You’re going to let me use the stove?” Castiel asks, surprised.

“Yeah. Don’t make me regret it.”

Castiel chuckles.

***

Surprisingly, Cas doesn’t end up burning the kitchen when he makes the marinara sauce. He was being supervised by Dean, but Dean was quite sure that there would be some kind of accident.

Now that they have the marinara sauce and the bell peppers and pepperoni sliced for later, Dean starts to preheat the oven and tells Cas the temperature needed for that. Then he grabs the bowl with the dough and uncovers it.

“Sprinkle some flour on the counter,” Dean says.

Castiel does as he is told and waits for Dean to drop the dough onto the counter.

“Okay, now comes the tricky thing,” Dean begins to say. “You have to flatten the dough. I’m gonna show you how it’s done, okay?”

He starts working on the dough slowly, so Cas can see what he is doing. Cas pays attention to his hands, watching his movements closely.

“Wanna try?” Dean asks.

Castiel nods.

Dean steps aside and watches Cas try to do what he did, but Cas seems to be struggling.

“Don’t worry, it’s a little hard to get it right at first,” Dean says with a smile.

“It’s a bit more complicated than I thought,” Castiel admits, frowning at the dough.

“Let me help you.” Dean places himself behind Castiel and rests his hands on top of his, guiding him. “You’ve gotta do this motion.”

He mimics his previous movements, guiding Cas’ hands with his. He presses himself closer to Cas so he can take a better look at the dough, only realizing his position after a minute. He then pulls away abruptly, feeling his cheeks flush. What the hell was he thinking?

“Try now,” Dean says, risking a look at Cas; he hopes he hasn’t made him uncomfortable.

Castiel nods but he avoids Dean’s eyes. Dean looks at Cas’ hands working on the pizza dough, and when he is able to look at Cas’ face, he thinks he sees a hint of a blush there.

“You’re doing great, Cas,” Dean says, wanting to encourage his friend and make him forget about his inappropriateness.

Castiel simply hums.

Dean watches him work on that dough and stops him when he thinks the dough is done. He takes a look, looking for an imperfection, but Cas did a great job.

“You did awesome, Cas,” Dean says, looking at him with a grin. “Not a single hole in the dough. Congratulations.”

“Thank you, Dean.”

Dean nods. “Now we’re gonna spread some olive oil onto the dough so it doesn’t get soggy.” He pours the golden liquid and then brushes it along the top. “Get the marinara sauce and spread it.”

Carefully, Castiel covers the dough top with the sauce. Meanwhile, Dean grabs the mozzarella and a cheese grater. When Cas has finished with the marinara sauce, Dean tells him to grate as much cheese as he wants to.

Cas ends up giving it a generous amount of cheese. Then, he and Dean place the bell peppers and the pepperoni slices on top of the cheese. Once they are done, Cas places it on a tray and Dean opens the oven. Castiel slides the tray inside it and Dean closes the door.

They wash everything they left on the counter, and then they set the table. Soon, the delicious smell of the pizza fills the kitchen.

Dean takes the pizza out of the oven and carefully places it on a big plate that he carries to the kitchen table.

“It looks and smells delicious,” Dean says with a grin, feelings how his mouth waters.

“It does,” Castiel agrees.

Dean cuts it into several slices. They both take one slice each, and a big string of cheese appears.

“I think you added too much cheese,” Dean comments, laughing.

“There is no such thing as too much cheese,” Castiel says.

Dean chuckles.

They both take a bite at the same time, and Dean can’t help but make a tiny moan.

“What’s the verdict?” Castiel asks after he has swallowed his bite.

“Fucking delicious,” Dean answers before taking another big bite of his slice.

Castiel grins and blushes. “Thank you, Dean.”

“I’m proud of you.”

The blush on Cas’ cheeks intensifies. “Does this mean that I am now allowed to use the stove?”

“Only under my supervision.”

Castiel smiles. “I consider that a victory.”

***

They spent their afternoon doing laundry first and then doing a puzzle of a thousand pieces. It takes a long time to complete it, but they eventually manage to have the _Starry Night_ by Van Gogh on the kitchen table. But unfortunately, they have to put it back in the box because they need the table to have supper.

Sam and Eileen call them to give them an update on the situation. They haven’t found anything about any of the spells yet nor how to destroy the relic or talk to Rowena. Dean wishes he and Cas could do something, but they don’t have anything to look for. Everything they need is in the bunker, and they can’t go there.

After the video call, Dean makes some grilled sole while Castiel makes a salad. They cook next to each other, and Dean can’t stop looking at Cas, next to him, enjoying the routine and the normality they have found in Jody’s cabin. He could get used to this, although he thinks he has already gotten used to it, actually.

Once they have eaten their food and washed the dishes, they retire to the living room. Dean grabs the remote and tries to look for something to watch before they go to bed. He settles on a rerun of _Star Trek, the original series_ , and makes himself comfortable as he rests his feet on the tea table. He takes a brief look at Cas, sitting next to him, and Dean smiles before directing his eyesight back to the screen, feeling good and relaxed.

It is only a matter of minutes before Castiel says, “Dean.”

If it weren’t for the strained voice Cas used to say his name, Dean wouldn’t have torn his eyes from the TV. Whenever they watch an episode of a TV show or a movie they have already seen, Cas tends to talk about details he notices or asks about things he doesn’t understand. But the way he said Dean’s name this time, makes Dean turn his face.

“What is it, Cas?” Dean asks, quite upset.

“I don’t— I don’t think I’m feeling good,” Castiel answers breathily.

Dean removes the small distance in between them and looks at Cas. His friend is looking pale and sweaty. He places a hand on Cas’ forehead and feels that he is burning.

“You’ve got a fever,” Dean mumbles, bewildered. He sees Cas’ eyelids falling shut, and Dean cups his face. “Hey, Cas. Hey, hey. Don’t fall asleep. Tell me what else you feel, please.”

“I—” Castiel pants, and that’s not a good sign. “I feel tired and dizzy.”

Before Dean can tell him anything, both of Cas’ nostrils starts to bleed. The blood descends quickly, passing past Cas’ lips and ending on his chin.

“Dean—” Cas says, and then he passes out.

“Cas!” Dean exclaims. He shakes him, trying to wake him up, trying to get any reaction from him, but Cas is unconscious and worst of all, his temperature has increased. “Cas?” Dean asks, uselessly. “I’m getting you to the hospital.”

Dean switches off the TV, and then he gets Cas in his arms. He could have tried to get Cas’ arm around his shoulders and press him against his side, but Cas’ dragging feet would have slowed him down. It is easier to carry him in his arms.

He reaches the Impala and he struggles to open the passenger’s door, but when he does, he places Cas on the seat. He runs back to the cabin to get the keys and his wallet. He slams the door of the cabin and runs back to the Impala. He even starts the engine before he closes the door, and then he drives as fast as the Impala allows him.

“Hold on, Cas. Hold on,” Dean pleads.

Dean steps on the gas and tightens his grip on the wheel.

***

Cas is taken to the ICU. Dean is forced to remain in the waiting room until the doctors find out what’s wrong with Cas, until they are done with running him some tests.

Dean switches between sitting on his seat, bouncing his leg restlessly, and walking around the waiting room, trying to get rid of the feeling of being completely useless.

He keeps looking around, waiting to see Cas reappear, but hours pass and nothing happens. So he keeps waiting for another hour, feeling like days have passed, until Cas is brought back on a bed, still unconscious.

“Doctor,” Dean says, running to the woman, who stops to talk to Dean while two nurses get Cas’ bed into one of the ICU rooms. “What’s going on with him?”

“We don’t know,” she answers with a tired and honest face. “We’ve run several tests and all of them were negative. We don’t know the cause of his state. It almost looks like it isn’t physical.”

 _The spell_ , Dean thinks immediately, turning his face to look at Cas.

“We’ve given him some medication to reduce his fever,” she keeps saying. “But it hasn’t done much. We’re keeping him under some more medication to see if we are at least able to control his fever. But in order to see if the medication has worked, we’re going to have to leave him resting for six hours. We can’t do more tests until we know how he responds to the medication.”

Dean takes a deep breath and nods absently. “Okay. Can I— can I be there with him?”

“Yes, you can.”

Dean nods again.

He waits until Cas’ room is empty and then he gets in. His heart breaks when he sees Cas lying on that bed, looking sickly pale. Dean brushes his hair and lets out a silent whimper. He takes a moment to calm himself and then he grabs his phone and calls Sam. Dean is sure he is about to go straight to Sam’s voicemail when Sam finally picks up.

“Dean?” Sam asks with a sleepy voice. “What’s wrong? It’s three—”

“It’s Cas,” Dean interrupts, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. “He’s in the ICU.”

“What?!”

“He’s unconscious and burning and his nose has been bleeding a lot. The doctors don’t know what’s going on with him, they say it isn’t something physical. I think it has to do with the spell we did last night.”

“Shit,” Sam says. “Dean, I’m so sorry. I knew that there was a side effect to that spell but I didn’t think that—”

“You knew this could happen?!”

“The book said that the chances were slim and I thought—”

“You thought?! Well, guess what?! You thought wrong! Cas in a fucking bed in the fucking ICU! And all because you thought that— that— Fuck!”

Dean punches the nearest wall with all the anger he feels inside him. His knuckles hurt painfully with the impact, and some of his skin tears, letting out some blood. Dean makes a sound that’s half a breath and half a wail before he presses his forehead against the wall.

“Dean—” Sam starts.

“Tell me there’s a way to heal him, Sam,” Dean begs. “Tell me I’m not gonna lose him.”

“There’s a way to heal him,” Sam affirms. “I saved the cure in case something happened.” He hears Sam switching on the light and then he hears Eileen asking him something. Sam quickly explains her what is going on. “I’m sorry, Dean. I—”

“I know,” Dean interrupts. “But next time, tell us about side effects.”

“I will, don’t worry.” Sam takes a deep breath. “Okay, Eileen is going to text you all the ingredients you’re going to need. Most of them are in the Impala. But you also need to get some lavender and some soil from the witch’s house.”

“Okay. Anything else?”

“Cas’ blood.”

“Okay.”

“Eileen is also sending you the instructions for the spell.”

“Good. Thanks.”

“Call me when he wakes up.”

“I will.”

“And again, I’m sorry, Dean.”

“Yeah, I know, Sammy.”

Dean hangs up and reads the message Eileen sent him. He is so glad to have most of the ingredients in the Impala, because he isn’t sure what would have happened if he had to wait for someone to deliver some of the ingredients.

He only needs to get some lavender and some soil from the witch’s house. Luckily, the witch had some lavender planted in the entrance of her house.

Dean turns around and looks at Cas, still lying on the bed unconscious. Dean approaches him and starts caressing his sweaty hair.

“You probably can’t hear me now, but—” Dean takes a deep breath and looks up, trying to suppress his tears. “But I want you to know that I’m gonna go for a while, okay?” He looks back at Cas and feels his heart sink. “I need to get some stuff for a spell to get you better. I promise I’ll be back, Cas. Just hold on tight, okay?”

Naturally, Castiel doesn’t say a word.

Dean sighs shakily and he leans to kiss his burning forehead.

“Stay with me, Cas. Please.”

His fingers brush Cas’ hair one last time and then, Dean walks out of the ICU room.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so damn much for reading, for the wonderful comments, the kudos, the bookmarks and the subscriptions :')

Dean comes back to the ICU a couple of hours before sunrise. He finds Cas in the same place and condition he was when Dean left.

Dean looks around, seeing that there is no one paying attention to them. He sits on a chair and he begins to drop some of the ingredients into the bowl. Then, he grabs his knife and cuts Cas’ forearm, letting some of his blood drip onto the other ingredients.

“Sorry for doing this again,” Dean murmurs, looking at Cas.

He puts a bandage on Cas’ wound and when he is finished, he mixes all the ingredients together. He dips his index finger into the moist mix and draws a symbol on Cas’ forehead.

“I hope this works,” Dean says.

He grabs his phone and reads the words Eileen sent him.

As Eileen explained in her message, the spell Cas did has kept a hold on him, hence why he is unconscious. The spell Dean is making is a counter spell to the one Cas’ made, forcing the magic that has taken a hold of Cas to go away.

When Dean finishes saying the words out loud, Cas’ body starts to shake.

“Cas?!” Dean asks, worried, leaning closer to him.

Immediately, Cas’ back arches and wave of purple in the shape of his body flies off hits the ceiling, leaving a dark and burnt print on it.

Castiel gasps as he opens his eyes and Dean places his hand on Cas’ shoulder, keeping him in place.

“Take it easy, Cas, take it easy,” Dean says, looking at his friend in relief.

“Dean?” Castiel asks, frowning. He stares at Dean for a while and then he looks around. “What are we doing in a hospital?”

Dean lets out a relieved sigh and he smiles weakly. He brings the chair closer to Cas’ bed and he rests his hand on top of Castiel’s, his thumb caressing his wrist.

“What do you remember?” Dean asks.

Castiel looks at their joined hands while he makes a thoughtful face. “We were watching _Star Trek_ ,” Castiel begins, flicking his eyes to Dean. “And I wasn’t feeling well. I told you that. You said I had a fever, asked me what else I felt and then…” He frowns, unable to recall anything else.

“You passed out,” Dean supplies.

“What happened?”

Dean tells him everything that happened once Cas passed out, what the doctors said, his phone conversation with Sam and how Dean got the ingredients and made the spell.

“You were right about worrying about my nosebleed,” Castiel says after Dean has finished talking.

“Duh,” Dean says and both of them smile. He gives Cas’ hand a squeeze. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention.”

Dean nods and he gives another squeeze to Cas’ hand.

“Thank you for saving me,” Castiel says.

“You don’t have to thank me that,” Dean says with a sweet smile. “By the way, how are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling good.”

“Yeah? Well, if that’s the case, I’m gonna wipe you that symbol and I’m gonna call the doctor and tell her you’re awake so she can come here.”

“Why do we need a doctor?” Castiel asks as he watches how Dean gets a tissue.

“Because I wanna make sure that you’re completely fine,” Dean answers as he wipes Castiel’s forehead. “I don’t wanna have to come back here, y’know?”

Castiel nods. “I understand.”

“But first, I’m gonna call Sam and Eileen to let them know you’re awake. They’re worried as hell.”

Castiel chuckles.

Dean’s hand lingers on Cas’ forehead, and his fingers stroke his hair. Their eyes meet, and Dean slowly pulls his hand away, making his fingers brush Cas’ cheek.

“I’m so fucking glad you’re okay, Cas,” Dean murmurs.

Cas dedicates him a soft smile.

***

After the surprised doctor sees that Cas is completely fine, Dean and Castiel drive back to the cabin.

The sun is starting to rise in the horizon, painting the sky in violet, pink and light orange. It is a beautiful sight that Dean would enjoy more if he wasn’t drained. He didn’t get any sleep and his body is exhausted from all the tension and anger he felt while Cas was unconscious.

Cas, on the other hand, looks good, although he could also use some sleep, too.

When they get inside the cabin, Dean lets out a long and tired sigh. He allows himself to finally relax. He still held some tension in him, afraid that he would have to come back to the hospital with an unconscious Cas again. But everything is fine again.

“Are you alright, Dean?” Castiel asks, giving him an intense and worried look.

Dean laughs bitterly. Cas is the one who was on a bed in the ICU and yet, he is the one worrying about Dean’s well-being.

“Yeah, I’m good, Cas,” Dean assures after Cas gives him a confused look. “I’m just glad to be back to the cabin after a long night.”

Castiel nods.

They walk to the bedroom and Dean lets himself fall onto the mattress, groaning at the wonderful feeling of a bed under his tired body. He should get rid of his clothes and lie onto his back instead of on his stomach, but Dean is so tired that he doesn’t care. He is tempted to remain there like that.

“Let me heal your knuckles, Dean,” Castiel says behind him.

“It’s fine, Cas,” Dean mumbles against the quilt.

Castiel sits next to bed and he nudges Dean’s shoulder. “Dean, please.”

“Fine,” Dean groans. He maneuvers himself until he is sitting next to Cas and gives him his hand so he can take care of his hurt knuckles.

“How did you end up with this wound?” Castiel wonders as he applies some antiseptic on his freckled skin.

“I was angry and I punched a wall.”

Castiel gives him a look of disbelief and then he starts to bandage Dean’s knuckles. “You need to control your anger.”

“I know, but you—” He clenches his jaw, remembering the pain and the frustration he felt in the ICU. “You were unconscious and I was worried that I was gonna lose you.”

Castiel finds his green eyes and they stare at each other. The fallen angel caresses Dean’s skin, right above the bandage, and Dean sighs shakily.

“You didn’t lose me in the end,” Castiel murmurs.

“I know,” Dean whispers with a smile.

“You also know that it takes more than a spell to end me.”

“Don’t quote me to me,” Dean warns with a playful smile.

“You said that it takes more than a fall to end you, not a spell.”

“It’s basically the same sentence, Cas.”

Castiel grins. He lets go of Dean’s hand and then he stands up, gathering all the healing supplies. “You should get some sleep.”

“You should, too.”

“I’m not that tired,” Castiel explains. “Besides, I believe that those hours that I spent passed out can count as sleep.”

“They don’t count as sleep, Cas,” Dean insists, not wanting to reveal the truth. “You need to rest for a while, too. Besides, what are you gonna do this early? Go for a run?”

“I could. The sunrise looks beautiful. It must be nice to run this early.”

“Cas, please, I—” He takes a deep breath and looks away from Cas, feeling his cheeks blush. “I want you to go to sleep with me.”

Castiel simply stares at him, perplexed.

“I would sleep better if you were there with me,” Dean explains, focusing intensely on his shoelaces, embarrassed for saying those words out loud. “It’s been a long night and I’m still worried about you, and I’d feel better if you were sleeping next to me.”

His words come out so fast that he doesn’t know if Cas has understand anything of what he said. Probably not, given that Cas doesn’t say anything. But when Dean finally finds the courage to meet Cas’ eyes, he sees that Cas has approached him and is looking at him with a sweet smile.

“Okay, Dean,” Castiel says.

“Thanks,” Dean mumbles, really embarrassed.

He quickly gets up and walks towards the closet to put on his pajamas. Cas follows him and starts doing the same.

Dean gets in bed first, and then Castiel. It feels strange to go to bed when the sun is shining. It would normally bother Dean, but he is so tired and his body is desperate for some sleep.

“Sleep well, Dean,” Castiel says.

“You too, Cas,” Dean says.

With Cas next to him, Dean easily falls asleep.

***

When Dean wakes up, he sees that Cas is still in bed, but instead of sleeping, he is reading a book.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel says, looking away from his book.

Dean grunts and rubs his face. “What time is it?”

“Around one P.M.”

“What?”

“Around one P.M.,” Castiel repeats, giving Dean a smug smile. “I believe that I am now entitled to address you as ‘lazy ass’.”

“Fuck you, Cas.” He rolls onto his back and kicks Cas’ shin.

Castiel chuckles and he folds the corner of the page. He then leaves the book on the nightstand and looks at Dean. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah. I actually did.” He sighs and then stretches his arms. He props onto his elbows until he sits on the bed, just like Cas, and their shoulders bump together, but neither of them pulls away. “How long have you been awake?”

“Since around ten.”

Dean looks at him surprised. “And you’ve been here in bed since then?”

“Well, when I woke up, I saw you were still deeply asleep, so I went to the bathroom, had a quick breakfast and came back here with a book.”

“Why did you come back? You could’ve stayed somewhere else.”

“Because you wanted me to stay here. I didn’t want you to wake up and find out that I wasn’t next to you. I didn’t want to add you any distress.”

Dean blushes and smiles shyly. “Thanks for sticking by, then.” He taps Cas’ leg and lets his hand linger there longer than he should, but he still needs the reassurance that Cas is there and that he is okay.

“Of course.”

“How are you feeling? Any dizziness or something worrisome?”

“I’m feeling good. I didn’t experience any strange or unpleasant symptom.”

“Awesome.” He taps Cas’ leg again and finally lets go.

Dean’s stomach growls loudly, making Castiel chuckle.

“I believe you are hungry,” Castiel says.

“I haven’t eaten anything since last night,” Dean comments as he kicks the sheets away and gets up. “I’m fucking starving. And I also need to go to the bathroom.”

Before Castiel can say anything else, Dean goes to the bathroom to relieve himself. Then he washes his face and his hands; he will take a shower after he eats, because sating his hunger is his top priority right now.

When he leaves the bathroom, he sees that Cas is in front of the stove, cooking some sausages in a pan as well as making some scrambled eggs in another.

“You should make sure that I don’t burn the scrambled eggs,” Castiel says when Dean approaches him. “This is the easiest and quickest meal I could think of.”

“It’s perfect, Cas,” Dean says, dedicating a sweet smile to Cas before checking how the scrambled eggs are doing.

“I’m also toasting some bread. I will cover it with some diced tomatoes, mozzarella and olive oil. If that’s alright.”

Dean gives him and impressed look. “Sounds fancy.”

Castiel simply shrugs. “It’s simple. And it doesn’t require the stove.”

“Still, it’s great.” He keeps moving the scrambled eggs so they don’t get burn while Castiel goes to the toaster to get the toasts. “You deal with those while I take care of the stove.”

“Of course,” Castiel says with a smile.

Their lunch, or in Dean’s case his breakfast, is quickly done. They sit together and enjoy the wonderful food. Dean moans happily as the hunger starts to fade away, glad to have some needed food in his system.

“It’s been decades since I was this hungry,” Dean says as he licks his fingers clean from the juice of the tomatoes.

“Do you want another toast?” Castiel wonders. “I can make you more if you want to.”

“I don’t wanna bother you,” Dean mumbles, feeling shy.

“You don’t bother me, Dean,” Castiel assures as he stands up, ready to make more of those tomatoes and mozzarellas toasts.

“You’re spoiling me, Cas.”

“I don’t think this could be considered spoiling. I’m only making you some toasts. You have made me better meals in the past.”

“Trust me, having someone cooking homemade food is a luxury I haven’t had since… Since never, actually.”

He turns on his seat so he can watch Cas dice some tomatoes. It is something so human and so simple, but it makes Dean’s heart swell. He would give anything to have moments like this for the rest of their lives. Moments in which they are just living and enjoying each other’s company, taking care of each other in their own way.

And maybe, one day, Dean might be able to stand up from his chair and kiss Cas, and distract him from what he is doing. Cas would laugh and kiss him again, forgetting his task momentarily, until they pull away and he goes back, but he would press Dean against him because he doesn’t want to let go just yet.

Dean wants to do that right now, but there are things stopping him. For starters, he doesn’t know how Cas feels about him exactly. Dean could ask him, but Dean has never taken the easy path on anything in his life, and much less when it comes to feelings.

What also stops him is his fear for fucking up things in between them, until it reaches a point where they can’t possibly fix what’s been broken, making Cas leave. Dean has some terrible abandonment issues, and he doesn’t want Cas to abandon him. He would rather have Cas as a friend than not have him around at all.

And there is also the fact that Dean still thinks he is a piece of shit and that he will never be good enough to be with Cas. Dean knows he has a couple of redeemable qualities, but those can’t be enough for Cas.

Still, sometimes Dean wants to push away all those doubts and fears and just tell Cas that he loves him. He wants to believe that they can be good to each other, that they can be happy. Dean has dealt with several apocalypses, so giving his heart to Cas shouldn’t be so hard. What does he have to lose?

 _Cas_ , Dean thinks. _I can lose Cas forever_.

“We need to buy more mozzarella,” Castiel says when he brings Dean’s toasts to the table. “And tomatoes.”

“Okay,” Dean says, pushing away all his thoughts about Cas. “Anything else?”

Castiel makes a thoughtful face as he peels a pear. “Milk, I think. And shampoo.”

“We can check later and go to the grocery store.” He chews the delicious toast, loving the juiciness of the tomatoes and the texture of the mozzarella. Castiel looks at him and smiles sweetly and proudly. “You need to make these more often. They’re so good.”

“I’m flattered.”

Dean grins and winks before taking another bite. Castiel focuses on his pear, hiding his blush.

***

Dean considers the chess board, studying what his next movement will be. Dean enjoys playing chess, but Cas is excellent at it, which makes it hard to beat him. That’s why Dean is trying to picture the possible moves Cas will make if Dean moves one piece of another.

Castiel watches him patiently and silently. He is resting his cheek on his palm, waiting for Dean to be done.

Finally, Dean decides to move his rook, carefully watching Cas’ face, expecting some expression, but Cas’ face remains stoic. Their eyes meet as Dean places the rook on D1.

“Your turn,” Dean says, leaning back on his chair.

Castiel leans over and studies the board. His index finger moves over his upper lip, a very human gesture that Dean doesn’t know where Cas might have picked it on. Watching that gesture makes Dean wonder something he hasn’t dared to ask yet, not knowing how to bring the topic, but he brings it now.

“Why did you keep your grace in the bunker?” Dean asks.

Castiel lifts his eyes from the board to look at Dean. Judging by his expression, he wasn’t expecting Dean to ask that question right now.

“It was the safest place where I could leave my grace,” Castiel answers. “I couldn’t leave it anywhere. I didn’t want anyone to use it for any purpose.”

“I hadn’t thought about that.”

Castiel frowns and tilts his head to one side. “Why did you think I kept my grace?”

Dean worries his bottom lip and then says, “I thought maybe you kept it in case you regretted turning human. In case you wanted to go back to Heaven.”

“No, I didn’t keep it because of that. You can’t destroy an angel’s grace when it is extracted from an angel. That’s why I had to keep it. I had to save it somewhere safe, and the bunker is that place. I don’t plan on becoming angel again. Unless we have to deal with another apocalypse and my angel powers are needed.” He grabs his bishop and places it on A3, ending with Dean’s knight. “Your turn.”

Dean rests his chin on his joined hands and studies the board. His king is still safe, but he knows it won’t be too long until Cas finds a weakness and goes after his king. Nevertheless, Dean is going to put a fight.

“Why do you still think that I might want to go back to Heaven?” Castiel asks.

“It used to be your home,” Dean answers.

“It stopped being my home a long time ago.”

At that confession, Dean looks up and meets Castiel’s eyes.

“The bunker has been my home for a long time,” Castiel adds. “Even if I was at times unsure if I was welcomed there.”

“You’ve always been welcomed there, Cas,” Dean says. “It’s been your home as well as mine and Sammy’s since the beginning.”

“Sometimes I felt like I didn’t belong there, that I was intruding in you and Sam’s home. I was just a visitor.”

“Jesus Christ, Cas. Did you really feel that?”

Castiel nods and looks at his hands. “Sometimes.”

“Fuck,” Dean mutters. “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like that. I didn’t know that you—” He takes a deep breath. He can’t imagine how bad Cas must have felt like in the bunker, unsure if he could stay for as long as he wanted. “I always wanted you to call the bunker your home.”

“Did you?” Castiel asks, flicking his eyes to Dean.

“Of course. Cas, I’ve always wanted you to stay in the bunker. Permanently. I wanted you to have a home with me and Sammy.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, well, I guess I should have probably said it more explicitly.” He grimaces and then he moves one of his remaining pawns forward, hoping to block some of Cas’ movements. “Your turn.”

Castiel leans forward again and studies the pieces.

“Is that why you kept leaving?” Dean asks.

“Yes,” Castiel answers. “I felt like I was intruding your home, that I was a disturbance to your peace.”

“Fuck.”

“I do know now that that wasn’t the case.” He smiles at Dean.

“You know that I hated it every time you left, right?”

Castiel stares at him. “No, I didn’t.”

“You didn’t think I hated it when you left?”

“I knew you didn’t like it when I went away to deal about some problem on my own and I kept it from you and—”

“I’m not talking about that,” Dean interrupts, making Castiel scowl. “We didn’t like it when you decided to fix stuff on your own without consulting us, but you know that and we aren’t gonna talk about that, because we’ve talked about it tons of times. What I’m talking about is that you constantly left, with or without an excuse. And I always hated it.” He exhales sharply and forces himself to keep looking at Cas. “Didn’t you know that I hated it when you left?”

“No, I didn’t,” Castiel says. “I actually thought you didn’t mind.”

“That I—?” Dean can’t help but chuckle bitterly at that. “I did mind, Cas. I fucking hated it. I knew that there were times when you had to leave, but I still hated it. Mostly because I didn’t know when you were gonna come back.”

“I always came back, though.”

Dean manages to smile and his heart melts. “Yeah, you always did. That was the only good thing about you leaving; you always came back.”

Castiel smiles and moves his rook to B5. “Your turn.”

Now it is Dean’s time to study the board, but he looks at Cas instead. “Apart from that time when you walked away after that big fight we had when Rowena finally died, did you ever wanted me to stop you?”

Castiel blushes and nods. “I did a few times.”

Dean blinks perplexed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t know if you would have stopped me.”

“I would have.”

“I wasn’t sure.”

“You could have said something, though.”

Castiel gives him a sympathetic smile. “You aren’t the only one who sometimes struggles with words, Dean.”

Dean opens his mouth, but words don’t come out. He simply stares at Cas and nods, understanding what Cas means.

He moves his eyes back to the board, studying his next movement while Castiel stares at him, loss at words as well.

***

“Will you be able to get some sleep tonight?” Castiel asks as he gets in bed.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” Dean asks, frowning.

Castiel smirks. “You slept until late today like a lazy ass.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “We’ll see tomorrow who the lazy ass is.”

Castiel chuckles, clearly amused with himself, and Dean rolls his eyes again, but there is a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He loves it when Cas laughs, but he loves it even more when he is the reason behind Cas’ happiness.

“Do you think Sam and Eileen will find a solution to the witch’s spells soon?” Castiel wonders, turning his face to look at Dean.

“I don’t know,” Dean sighs, shrugging. “They’re fast, but they still need to find the counter spell of seven spells plus a way to destroy the relics. That’s not an easy task.”

Castiel hums in agreement.

“Why do you ask? You feeling homesick?” Dean asks, rolling onto his side so he can see Cas better. The fallen angel does the same.

“I miss the bunker, but I wouldn’t say I feel homesick,” Castiel answers. “I like it here. It’s nice. Also, there is natural light. I wish we had all this light in the bunker.”

“Yeah, that’s the only thing I don’t like about the bunker. Those Men of Letters could’ve thought about putting a few windows with some invisibility spell or some shit like that.”

“I agree.” Castiel smiles. “What about you? Are you feeling homesick?”

“Sometimes,” Dean answers honestly. “The cabin is nice and I’ve gotten used to it. I really like all this natural light, but I do miss some stuff from the bunker and Lebanon.” He shrugs one shoulder casually. “It would be much worse if we had to be stuck in that awful motel.”

“If that had been the case, we would have been extremely homesick since the first day.”

“Bless Jody for this cabin.”

“Indeed.”

They both smile.

“We’ll be able to go back home,” Dean murmurs. “I don’t know when, but it won’t take too much longer. Maybe another week at most. Unless the witch has another nasty surprise hiding somewhere.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case,” Castiel comments with a grimace.

“I will burn the whole city if that happens.”

“You wouldn’t do that.”

“I have anger management issues. I might fucking do it. I’m really pissed off at that witch.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and rolls onto his back so he can switch off the light.

“I can’t believe you just decided to finish this conversation like that!” Dean exclaims, extremely indignant.

“You were starting to get dramatic, Dean. That’s my cue to switch off the lights.”

“How dare you!”

“We both know you wouldn’t burn the whole city, Dean. In any case you would only burn down the witch’s house.”

Dean pouts in agreement. “Okay, yeah, that’s true.”

“I told you that you were being dramatic.”

“Shut up, Cas.”

Castiel chuckles. “Goodnight, Dean.”

“Yeah, goodnight, Cas,” Dean huffs, hiding his smile in the dark.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so damn much for reading and for the wonderful comments. Also, thanks for the kudos, the bookmarks and the subscriptions :')

As the previous mornings, Dean wakes up feeling warm and cozy. Also, he is extremely close to Cas. If Dean moved just one inch, their noses would bump together.

For both of their sakes, Dean slowly moves away, giving them some space. He doesn’t go too far, because Cas has an iron grip on his t-shirt. Dean looks at his best friend’s hand and then at his face, which looks peaceful as he sleeps.

Dean should also let go of his hand on Cas’ hip, but instead he keeps it there. His thumb moves soothingly on the fabric for a while. He closes his eyes and sighs, enjoying the little peace the moment brings him for a few seconds until he finally pulls his hand away.

He rolls onto his back and rubs his face in frustration. Cas’ hand doesn’t let go, his grip as tight as before. Dean turns his face to stare at Cas’ sleeping face, wondering why the idea of confessing his feelings to his best friend is so damn terrifying. Dean is brave, or at least he tries to. Even when fear takes a hold of him, Dean tries to face the problem with courage. Even when things seemed doomed from the beginning, Dean kept going on, trying to be brave. How is it possible that he can’t be brave when it comes to tell Cas that he loves him?

Cas stirs next to him and gets closer to Dean, letting out a content sigh.

Dean watches him. Once they are finally able to leave Spokane, he is going to miss waking up next to Cas.

He exhales sharply, frustrated with himself.

“Fuck,” Dean murmurs.

“Go back to sleep, Dean,” Castiel mumbles next to him.

Dean startles. “You awake?”

“No.”

Dean huffs. “Liar.”

“Maybe I talk on my sleep.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“It’s still early, Dean. Go back to sleep.”

“You haven’t even opened your eyes. How can you know if it’s early or not?”

“I know that it is early because I still need to sleep.”

Dean chuckles. “Lazy ass.”

Castiel moves his hand on Dean’s chest to Dean’s mouth. His fingers press onto Dean’s lips, making Dean open his eyes widely. He has fantasized about licking Cas’ fingers more times than he likes to admit.

“Shut up and sleep, Dean,” Castiel mumbles.

He pulls away his hand and places it back on Dean’s chest, as if that was something friends normally do.

Dean looks at him in shock. He is pretty sure that Cas can feel the rapid beating of his heart. It’s because of moments like this one that Dean starts to question things, wondering if Cas is telling him something or if this doesn’t mean anything to him at all.

So many of Dean’s doubts would be solved if he just asked, but when it comes to his heart, Dean is just a coward.

***

“Hold on, Sam, I’m putting you on speaker,” Dean says when he answers his phone. He presses the speaker button and he places his phone on the kitchen table. “You can go on, now.”

“Eileen and I have found the counter spell to two of the spells in the witch’s house,” Sam explains. “She’s gone to town to get some ingredients we don’t have here in the bunker, so we can begin to get things ready for you guys.”

“Those are really good news,” Castiel says.

“Yeah, and there aren’t any side effects to any of those spells,” Sam adds.

“Awesome,” Dean says relieved. “What about the relics? Did you find anything at all?”

“No. We’re still trying to find a way to talk to Rowena without having to go to Hell, because I’m sure she knows about magical relics.” He lets out a frustrated sigh. “If my leg wasn’t broken, I’m sure we would have had a solution for days, but—”

“It’s not your fault, Sam,” Dean and Castiel say at the same time.

Sam huffs. “Yeah, well, thanks, but I’m slowing things a little.”

“Hey, we’re fine,” Dean insists. “The cabin’s great and we aren’t in danger. It’s not like we’re running out of time or anything, so take things at your own pace.”

Even though they can’t see Sam, his smile is audible. “Yeah, okay. Thanks.” He clears his throat. “We’ll keep searching for the rest of counter spells, and if we find anything else, we’ll let you know.”

“Okay.”

“Thanks, Sam,” Castiel says.

They say goodbye and then Dean hangs up the phone.

“Two spells down, five to go,” Dean says.

“Plus the destruction of the relics,” Castiel reminds him.

“Yeah, plus that.” He drums his fingers on the wooden surface, lost in thought.

“What are you thinking?” Castiel wonders, giving all his attention to Dean.

“I’m thinking that we still got a lot of time to kill until we have all those spells and we know how to destroy the relics.” He bites the inside of his cheek and looks around the cabin. They could always read some books, play some games and watch some movies and TV shows, but Dean is starting to get some cabin fever. “Do you feel like doing some tourism around Spokane? There are a few parks we could visit, if you’re up to it.”

Castiel makes a surprised face at first, but then he smiles and nods. “That would be nice.”

Dean smiles and nods. He grabs his phone and Googles _Spokane must see_. “I’m gonna check some places and see the schedules. Maybe we can go somewhere after lunch.”

***

They end up visiting the Manito Park and Botanical Gardens because that was Castiel’s pick. Since he became human, he has shown a big interest on plants and gardening. It is a shame that the bunker doesn’t have a greenhouse, because Dean knows Cas could make a great use of it.

The gardens are beautiful, and Dean finds himself admiring every single thing in that park, just like Castiel.

“We should do more tourism when we are away on a hunt,” Castiel says.

“It’s not like we have the time while we’re hunting,” Dean reminds him.

“We could try after we are done hunting. There are so many beautiful places to see. We travel a lot, maybe we should also seize the occasion and do some tourism whenever there is a chance.”

Dean makes an agreement pout. “Yeah, that could be awesome.”

“Why haven’t you done that before?”

Dean shrugs. “There’ve been times when me and Sammy visited something while we were hunting. I don’t think we did that more than once or twice a year. It’s not like we had a lot of money back then, and when we did had the money, we were busy dealing with one apocalypse. There wasn’t time to do much.”

“You could try and change that now. Things are much quieter now. And money isn’t that big of an issue because of Charlie’s card.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s just that after so many years, it’s hard to break the habit.”

From the corner of his eyes, he sees Cas turning his face, considering him. After a moment, he says, “The world isn’t ending anymore, Dean. You should allow yourself to do the things you really want to do.”

Dean meets his eyes. “Sometimes it’s not that simple, Cas.”

Castiel frowns. “Why not?”

Dean can’t help huffing. It is a simple question, but its answer is complicated.

“It can be scary sometimes,” Dean answers casually.

“What are you afraid of?” Castiel asks, even more confused.

“Fucking up one way or another,” Dean breathes out. He gets his hands in his jean’s pockets, a silly gesture that always helps him to ground himself. “I don’t wanna fuck up something to the point where it’s beyond repair.”

Castiel nods absently. “I understand that fear. As you say, I have fucked up things beyond repair in the past.”

“I don’t think they were beyond repair. You fixed a lot of stuff.”

“My number of failures is much bigger than my number of successes.”

“Just like me, then,” Dean admits, giving him a sympathetic smile. “If you wanna turn this conversation into a challenge to see who hates himself more, I can tell you that I’m gonna win.”

Castiel rolls his eyes dramatically, but Dean can see a hint of a sad smile on his lips.

They reach a bench and decide to sit on it to watch the fountain and the beautiful gardens with its colorful flowers.

“You told me that failure is a part of life, and that it was okay to fail and learn from your mistakes,” Castiel says, looking at Dean’s profile. “Maybe you should take your own advice.”

“I’m not good at listening to any kind of advice,” Dean confesses with a bitter smile.

“Yes, you’re infuriatingly stubborn sometimes.”

Dean glares him. “And you aren’t?”

“I’m not nearly as infuriatingly stubborn as you are.”

Dean laughs. “Bullshit.”

Castiel smirks and then keeps contemplating the plants of the park. Dean’s eyes remain on Castiel’s profile for a while, and then, he keeps looking at the garden. He wants to tell Cas more about the things he fears, but he keeps his thoughts to himself.

***

“Hey, uh—” Dean starts to say, clearing his throat. Castiel closes the Impala’s passenger door and looks expectantly at Dean. “Do you wanna have dinner somewhere? I don’t feel like cooking tonight.”

“Okay,” Castiel says casually. 

“Do you have someplace in mind?” Dean asks as he grabs his phone to look for some restaurant around their current location.

“Someplace where they don’t serve you cholesterol.”

Dean glares him. “You’re no fun, Cas.”

Castiel smiles smugly.

Dean takes a look at some of the places they could eat at. “American or international food?”

“International,” Castiel answers. “If I wanted American I would tell you to just drive back to the cabin.”

Dean chuckles. “I’m sure some of these restaurants cook better than I do.”

“I highly doubt that. Everything you cook is delicious.”

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean says, blushing so much that he is practically glowing. “There’s an Italian restaurant nearby.”

“Italian sounds great.”

“Yeah?” Dean asks, at to which Cas nods in answer. “Awesome.”

***

The table they are sat on isn’t small, but Dean and Cas’ knees keep bumping all the time. It’s not like the restaurant didn’t have a big amount of space to buy bigger tables; it was built like that to give a sense of intimacy.

Castiel reads the menu, not bothered by the small space they have to share. Dean, meanwhile is looking under the table, trying to decide where to place his legs. 

“What are you doing?” Castiel asks with a scowl.

“Trying to figure out how to stretch my legs or place them, or something,” Dean explains.

Irritated, Castiel closes the menu and takes a quick look at the small space under the table. He stretches his legs to Dean’s right. “Now you can stretch them on your left.”

Dean does as he is told and sighs happily. “Thanks.”

Castiel nods as goes back to his menu.

Finally comfortable, Dean starts to read his menu as well, having a hard time trying to decide just one thing. Castiel, on the other hand, seems to already know what he wants, because he is now contemplating Dean.

“What are you gonna get?” Dean asks, looking up from his menu.

“Triangolli of gorgonzola and pears with pesto rosso panna,” Castiel answers, adding a small Italian accent to the three last words.

Dean hides his smile behind the menu. “That sounds delicious. Everything sounds delicious to be honest.”

“We could share if you’re indecisive. That way, you can taste two different dishes.”

Dean grins. “Cas, you’ve just made me the happiest man on Earth.”

Castiel squints his eyes and tilts his head, a gesture that Dean loves and finds so damn adorable.

“Also, we could order some appetizers, you know?” Dean asks, wiggling his eyebrows. “As a way to appreciate the wide variety of the Italian cuisine.”

Castiel shakes his head in disbelief and he smiles. “You would say anything as long as you get to eat more food, wouldn’t you?”

“Oh, yeah.”

The waitress appears and Dean orders for the two of them.

“Don’t give me that look,” Dean protests once the waitress is gone. Castiel keeps shaking his head, looking incredulous. “I love food, you know that.”

“I do, but I’m still surprised by the lengths you would go to eat as much food as you possibly can,” Castiel says.

“That’s ‘cause it’s a habit from when I was a kid. Whenever we had plenty of food, I ate as much as I could because I didn’t know when I was gonna be able to eat again. Days could pass after I had something more than a protein bar or a bowl of cereals.”

Castiel gives him a sad look. “That must have been terrible for you.”

Dean shrugs casually. “Yeah, it was. That’s why I made sure that at least Sammy had some food every day. I could do without food for days, but I didn’t want Sam to experience that.” He makes a sad grimace. “Guess that’s why Sam grew up to be fucking tall.”

Castiel chuckles at that. “Probably.”

Dean manages to make a tiny smile. Castiel doesn’t press the issue. The fallen angel might lack tact at certain times, but not when it comes to Dean. He seems to read and understand Dean better than anyone. Something that Dean is so grateful for.

The rest of their dinner goes well and the food they ordered tastes delicious. Dean doesn’t stop thanking Cas for the bright idea of sharing their dishes, because both of them are delicious.

When they finish their food, the waitress comes back to retire the empty plates and asks them if they want something for dessert, to which Dean says that they would like to see the dessert menus.

“I was hoping they’d have a pie,” Dean comments once he has finished reading the items.

“Dean, this is an Italian restaurant,” Castiel says, rolling his eyes.

“Pie should be universal.”

“Pi number is universal.”

“They have the same pronunciation, but they don’t have anything else in common.”

“The shape of a pie is a circle, and the area of a circle is Pi times the radius squared.”

Dean stares blankly at Cas for a moment until he says, “Son of a bitch.”

Castiel hums in agreement and smiles. “Do you want to share a dessert? I’m quite full by now.”

“You’re full? Seriously?”

“I am. I’m surprised that you aren’t.”

Dean snorts. “Okay, how about we order this one with chocolate mousse, mascarpone, brownie bits and chocolate hazelnuts pieces?”

“Perfect.”

Dean orders their dessert to the waitress and they only have to wait a couple of minutes until she brings it to the table with two spoons. Dean eagerly takes the first bite, hardly able to suppress a tiny moan of contentment. Castiel hides his better.

“You need to learn how to make this,” Castiel says.

Dean laughs. “I can try, but I can’t promise you that it will taste as amazing as this.”

“It will taste better, I’m sure.”

Dean snorts while he quickly blushes. Getting any kind of praise is something he is not used to, and probably will never be. He tends to joke every time somebody gives him a kind word, knowing deep down that people are just trying to be nice to him, not really believing those words. Cas, however, is always so honest, and means each and every word.

They quickly finish the dessert, sated with the lingering sweet taste of the chocolate and the mascarpone. Dean smiles at Cas and he notices that his friend has a stain of chocolate on his chin, which makes him chuckle.

“What is it?” Castiel asks, confused.

“You’ve got some chocolate on your chin,” Dean explains.

Castiel wipes his chin, but he misses the spot.

“To your left,” Dean instructs, but Castiel misses it again. “Let me.”

Without thinking it twice, Dean presses his thumb on Cas’ chin and wipes the chocolate stain. He also notices a tiny stain of chocolate on the corner of Castiel’s mouth, and Dean’s thumb goes directly there.

“You’re some kind of messy eater,” Dean says, amused. He looks at Cas, finding him wide eyed, and that’s when Dean’s brain finally processes what he is doing. He quickly pulls away, looking ashamed of himself and feeling his cheeks heating up. “Yeah— I— I think you’re good. I’m gonna ask for the bill.”

Dean mentally punches himself before he turns his face, looking for the waitress.

***

They don’t talk about that moment. Dean doesn’t know if he should be glad or mad about that. It’s not like they ever talk about moments like those. They are always doing things that friends don’t do, but they never utter a single word about that. It is something normal for them. Or that’s what they pretend. It’s not like Dean knows what Cas thinks about those situations. His wide eyes when Dean’s fingers brushed the corner of his mouth were of shock. At least that’s what Dean thinks. He could be wrong, right?

Dean takes a deep breath and focuses on the road ahead. Cas is sitting next to him, head tilted to his side, watching the moving nightly landscape of Spokane. The silence in between isn’t exactly awkward, but there is something there, and Dean hates it.

To end that bothering quietness, he presses the play button and Led Zeppelin starts to sound. _Heartbreaker_ starts to sound and Dean quickly starts drumming the wheel and mouthing the lyrics to the song. It doesn’t take Cas too long to start mouthing the song as well. He even drums his fingers on his leg, following the beat of the song.

“I’ve gotta ask,” Dean says, and his voice makes Castiel turn his face to look at him. “Do you really like Led Zeppelin or do you just pretend to like them to humor me?”

“I like Led Zeppelin,” Castiel answers. “I really like their music, as well as their lyrics.”

“Well, that’s good to know. I was worried that you secretly hated them like you do with westerns.”

“I do not secretly hate westerns. I’m very vocal about my dislike for those movies.”

Dean laughs. “Yeah, that’s true.” He bites his lower lip and looks at Cas briefly before returning his eyesight to the road. “What’s your favorite Led Zeppelin song?”

“ _All of my Love_.”

Dean’s eyes abandon the road to look at Cas. _All of my Love_ was one of the thirteen tracks he added to the mixtape, the last one in fact. That mixtape was a collection of confessions in the shape of songs.

“Why that song?” Dean asks, forcing his eyes to focus on the road. He has the tendency of looking at Cas for too long while he drives. If he weren’t a good driver, they would have had an accident a long time ago.

“I love it. It’s perfect,” Castiel answers shyly.

Dean can’t tell for sure with the darkness of the night, but he thinks Cas might be blushing. His heart skips a beat, and there is a feeling of hope growing inside his chest. What if Cas likes that song for the same reason Dean put _All of my Love_ in the mixtape?

Dean takes silent deep breaths, not daring to hope, but the what ifs are filling his head and his heart, and he just wants to ask, but his words are hoarding in his throat, unable to reach his tongue. Why is it so damn hard to ask the right question in the right moment? Why is it so hard to speak up the words that are locked in his heart?

“I like _Ramble On_ , too,” Castiel adds, his voice coming more confident this time. “That song is very you.”

“Very me?” Dean stammers.

“The lyrics are restless, like you, and there are references to _The Lord of the Rings_ , which you truly enjoy. It’s very you.”

Dean can’t help but grin at that. “That’s gotta be the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me. That a Led Zeppelin song is very me. I like that.”

Castiel hums and smiles.

***

“Any plans for tomorrow?” Dean asks once Cas is in bed next to him.

“For now, my plan for tomorrow mostly consists on drinking coffee when I wake up,” Castiel deadpans.

Dean laughs loudly. “Wow. Shocking.”

“I know,” Castiel sasses. “Do you have anything in mind?”

“Not really. We could stay here or we could visit some other cool place. Guess we’ll decide tomorrow.”

Castiel hums in agreement.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean starts. Castiel hums again, encouraging Dean to go on. “Once we’re able to leave Spokane, is there any place you’d like to visit in the future? Maybe you, me, Sam and Eileen can go somewhere, once Sammy’s leg is good again.”

“I have never been to the Grand Canyon. I have seen it from above, but I haven’t been there.”

“We will go there once things are back to normal. I promise.”

Castiel dedicates him a sweet smile. “What about you? Is there any place you would want to visit in the future?”

“Some beach in California, perhaps. I kept telling Sam that once we could get a vacation we should go to a beach, feel the sun on our skins, sand in between our toes… But once the whole thing with Chuck was done, we didn’t go there. Maybe we should finally go once and for all.”

“That would be really nice,” Castiel says.

“Yeah. I’ve never been to a beach. I wanna hear the sound of the waves on the shore. That must be awesome.” He closes his eyes imagining himself in a beach, standing with Cas, Sam and Eileen.

“The only downside is that we should now probably wait until spring arrives,” Castiel comments.

“Damn, you’re right,” Dean comments, opening his eyes. “Well, we’ll go there eventually, in less than a year. I want my fucking vacation. I deserve it. We all deserve it.”

Castiel chuckles. “Indeed.” He reaches for the switch, but he looks at Dean first. “Shall I turn off the lights?”

“Yeah.”

Castiel turns off the lights and covers himself. “Goodnight, Dean.”

“Goodnight, Cas.”

Slumber finds Dean easily while he thinks about the prospect of a beach day in the future.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm updating several hours before my usual time, but I have a busy afternoon and I'm pretty sure I won't be able to update at my usual time, so here I am, updating now.
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading and all the wonderful comments you left me. Thank you also for the kudos, the bookmarks and the subscriptions :')

Dean’s uneventful dreams quickly turn into memories of Hell. They are so real and raw that Dean feels it on his skin. His mouth tastes like ashes and his skin feels wet with the blood of his victims. Dean wants to leave that nightmare, he fights to get back to the real world, but he is a prisoner of his mind, remembering the pain he felt and inflicted.

In the distance, he hears a familiar voice calling his name. He is desperate to chase it, but cruel and strong arms grip him tightly, keeping him in place, inflecting the same wounds he carved into the lost souls of Hell.

The voice becomes stronger and closer, and Dean wants to go after it, but he is still trapped, suffering the cruelties of Hell and its corrupted souls.

“Dean!” Castiel yells.

Dean wakes up. His body jumps, but Cas’ hand on his chest keeps him in place. He is shaking and sweating, and for the first few seconds he doesn’t know where he is, but then he sees Cas’ face, illuminated by a lamp, and Dean calms a little.

“It was just a nightmare, Dean,” Castiel whispers softly. His other hand comes to Dean’s face and begins caressing Dean’s cheek and jaw tenderly. “You’re safe, Dean. It was only a nightmare.”

Unable to utter a word, Dean simply nods and closes his eyes. He leans onto Cas’ touch and tries to breathe. He still can feel the reminder of Hell on his skin and he can hear the painful screams of the souls he tortured.

“I need some air,” Dean mutters as he pulls away.

Before Castiel can do anything, Dean is already walking away from the bedroom, barefoot, not caring about the cold. What he needs right now is some air, because his chest feels constricted, and the best way to get rid of that awful sensation is to go out and breathe in some fresh air.

The wooden floor of the porch is freezing, but Dean barely notices it. He rests both of his hands on the wooden railing, closes his eyes and breathes. He counts to five when he inhales and counts to five again when he exhales.

Suddenly, Cas wraps a blanket around Dean, who looks at him startled. Then, the fallen angel drops some sleepers next to Dean’s feet, and Dean puts them on.

“Thanks,” Dean mumbles.

Castiel places his hand on the small of Dean’s back and rubs it. “Do you want to talk about it or do you want a distraction?”

Dean smiles shakily, appreciating Cas’ concern. “Can you hug me, please?”

“Of course,” Castiel says, already opening his arms to Dean.

Dean throws his arms around Cas, gripping tightly the back of Cas’ trench coat. He buries his face in Cas’ shoulder while Castiel holds Dean tightly, pressing him closer.

Dean shreds some tears and Castiel beings to whisper comforting words, his grip only becoming tighter. Slowly, Dean’s body starts to stop trembling, and his sobs begin to disappear, but Cas keeps holding him tight, resting his cheek on top of Dean’s head.

One of his hands keeps rubbing Dean’s back while the other brushes the hairs on Dean’s nape. It is a wonderful hug that makes Dean feel safe and cared. It makes the memories of Hell slip from skin, until they become a faraway nightmare.

Even when his body starts to relax and his sobs have faded away, they remain embraced. Dean breathes into the curve of Cas’ neck, smelling his characteristic scent of cotton and ozone; it’s really comforting. He sighs and closes his eyes, focusing on Cas’ tight and sweet embrace.

After a while, Dean pulls away, but Castiel’s hands remain on his shoulders, not wanting to let him go yet. Just like Dean, whose hands are resting on Cas’ hips.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean mumbles, glad that the darkness of the night can hide his obvious blush and his reddened eyes.

“Of course, Dean,” Castiel replies, sweetly. His right hand slides down slightly, until his palm rests where his handprint used to be. His thumb moves soothingly, and despite the fabric of the blanket and the t-shirt, Dean feels the movement perfectly.

“I need a drink,” Dean announces with a forced smile.

Usually, after nightmares, he likes to drink something strong, but beer will have to do for tonight.

He steps aside from Cas and goes back inside, switching on the lights of the kitchen before opening the fridge and grabbing a beer. With ease, he opens the bottle and drinks almost half of it in one swallow. Castiel approaches him, watching him with worried eyes.

“Want one?” Dean asks.

“No, thank you,” Castiel answers.

Dean nods and he sits on one of the chairs around the kitchen table. Castiel joins him by sitting next to him. Dean takes a deep breath and rubs his sore eyes. Then, he drinks some more beer, exhaling after that.

“I dreamt about Hell,” Dean murmurs without taking his eyes of the bottle. His nail begins to scratch the label absently. “Memories of what I did there.”

“I’m sorry,” Castiel says.

“It’s not your fault.”

“If I still had my grace I could have stopped your nightmare.”

Dean frowns and looks at his friend. “You could do that?”

“I could,” Castiel admits, and then in a softer voice adds, “I did a few times, actually.”

“You did?”

“Of course.”

“I didn’t know.”

Castiel smiles timidly. “You weren’t supposed to know.”

Dean chuckles. “Thanks for making them go away.”

“I wish I could still make them go away. I can’t imagine how horrible it must be to relive all the trauma you went through.”

Dean doesn’t say anything and instead takes another swig of his beer, almost emptying the bottle. “At least you were there when I woke up to calm me down. That helped a lot.”

“You wouldn’t be drinking if it had actually helped,” Castiel points.

“If it hadn’t helped, I would be already on my third beer,” Dean remarks, looking at Cas with a tiny smile. “Seriously, Cas, you calmed me down more than any drink could have. I mean it. It usually takes me like an hour and a bottle of whiskey to strop trembling and sobbing.”

Castiel studies him for a moment. Dean stands up, drinking the last of his beer and then squeezes Castiel’s shoulder.

“C’mon, let’s go to bed,” Dean says as he shrugs off the blanket.

They walk to the bedroom, without switching on any lights. Dean gets in first. Seconds later, Castiel joins him.

“Sweet dreams, Dean,” Castiel murmurs.

“Sweet dreams, Cas,” Dean whispers back.

***

The thud of the rain wakes Dean up.

He keeps his eyes closed, focusing on the sound of raindrops hitting against the cabin. Through his closed eyes, he notices that the usual bright light that comes in every morning is gone, replaced by the dark light of a grey sky.

Dean sighs and nuzzles Castiel’s neck, snuggling closer to him.

It takes him five seconds to realize what he just did, and when he does, he opens his eyes slowly, seeing that he and Cas are lying on their sides, pressed together. Dean’s hand is resting on Castiel’s waist, while Castiel’s hand is resting on Dean’s shoulder. Somehow, Dean ended up with his face buried on the crook of Cas’ neck and Cas rested his chin on top of Dean’s head. How the fuck did that happen?

Slowly and so damn carefully, Dean begins to extract himself from Cas, holding his breath as he moves away. His eyes never abandon Cas’ face, scared that he will wake up at the feeling of any slight movement. Luckily, Cas remains away, but as always, his hand doesn’t let go Dean.

With some distance in between them, Dean is finally able to breathe properly. But then realizes that he is half hard. It would have been mortifying if Cas woke up and saw them holding each other and felt Dean’s half hard dick pressed against him. He is so damn thankful that Cas is a heavy sleeper, because if he weren’t, things would have been so awkward. Or worse. Dean doesn’t want to think about the possible scenarios.

Trying to get rid of his obvious arousal, Dean closes his eyes and focuses more intently on the sound of the rain as he names all the pieces under the Impala’s hood.

It works out.

Dean sighs relieved and opens his eyes, seeing that Cas is still asleep, but he notices his eyes slightly moving under his eyelids, meaning that he will wake up soon. Dean closes his eyes and lets himself relax.

At the sound of Castiel’s sharp exhale, Dean opens his eyes. Castiel still has his eyes closed, but his eyebrows are burrowed, as if he was insulted by the fact of being awake. It isn’t fair that Cas looks so adorable when he is being so grumpy.

“You’re really not a morning person,” Dean comments, amused.

Castiel groans and half buries his face in the pillow and grumbles something about mornings being an abomination or something like that. It is so muffled that Dean’s isn’t sure. Still, it makes him chuckle.

Castiel says something else, but once again, Dean can’t distinguish the words.

“What?” Dean asks.

“Did you have any other nightmares?” Castiel asks after freeing his face from the pillow.

“No, I didn’t.”

Castiel lets out a relieved sigh. “I’m glad.” He rubs his cheek on the pillow, smiling at the feeling, and Dean finds himself smiling like an idiot. “Is it raining?”

“Yeah. It’s raining a lot.”

He rolls onto his back. The movement makes Cas’ hand slide from his shoulder to his chest, but Castiel doesn’t pull his hand away at all. His palm is warm and comforting, and Dean is tempted to place his own hand on top of Castiel’s. It would be a simple gesture that would say some of the things he hasn’t been able to say out loud. But as always, Dean remains still, scared of the response he will get because of his actions. But then again, there is no way that Cas isn’t aware that he has his hand on Dean’s chest. He is keeping it there on purpose. Perhaps Cas thinks this is normal and that’s why he does it. After all, Dean has had to explain Cas some inherent human things because Cas didn’t know them nor understand them; maybe this is like that.

The hopeful part of Dean thinks that it isn’t like that, but Dean has never listened to it in his life. His self-loathing part has always been loudest and unfortunately, more correct.

***

Any plans they had for the day are gone because of the rain. They hadn’t decided what to do today, only that they would go and visit something in Spokane, but the heavy rain forces them to remain in the cabin. The main problem is that they don’t have any wood for the chimney and the cabin is starting to get really cold.

“How sick would I get if I went out for a run now?” Castiel asks as he looks outside from the window.

Dean arches both eyebrows and looks away from his laptop. “You’d surely get pneumonia.”

Castiel grimaces. “That’s unfortunate.”

“Dude, you really would go out for a run now with this heavy rain?”

“Yes,” Castiel answers as he brings his eyes back to his sketchbook. “I like rain. And I like running.”

Dean shakes his head and lets out a long sigh. He will never understand why Cas and Sam love running so much, but to each their own. He keeps looking for soup recipes on the internet, trying to find an appetizing one for their lunch. They both could really use some hot food for today.

He is so concentrated on reading what it is probably going to be their lunch, that he startles when his laptop starts beeping, announcing Sam’s video call. Castiel looks at him with an amused grin and Dean glares him as he kicks Cas’ foot. He answers the video call, moving the laptop so Cas can fit in the screen.

“Hey, guys,” Sam and Eileen greet.

“Hey,” Dean says, while Castiel says, “Hello.”

“We have good news!” Eileen announces with a wide grin.

“We have found a way to break all the spells!” Sam says.

Dean and Castiel exchange a look of surprise in between them and then they look at Sam and Eileen.

“You serious?” Dean asks.

“Yeah,” Sam and Eileen say.

“All of them?” Castiel says.

“Yes, all of them,” Sam insists.

“But we still have to find a way to destroy the relics,” Eileen admits.

“We’re still working on that. We’re also still working on trying to contact Rowena, but we haven’t had any luck yet. We’ve tried summoning a few more demons, but it is still useless.”

“Well, at least we now have half of the problem solved,” Dean says, quite happy.

“We still have to get some ingredients for those spells,” Sam supplies, making an apologetic grimace. “We have most of them, but there are some rare ingredients that are going to take us a while to get. But as soon as we got them, we’ll call Claire and she’ll send them to you.”

“Awesome, thanks.”

“Thank you very much to both of you,” Castiel says.

“No problem,” Sam and Eileen say.

They say goodbye to each other, and when Sam and Eileen are no longer on the laptop’s screen, Dean looks at Cas excitedly and Castiel mirrors his expression.

“Fuck, I’m so happy,” Dean says, almost laughing. “Now we only need to know how to destroy the relics and we’ll be done with this whole mess.” He drums the table, and Castiel gives him a look that means he can’t believe he is witnessing this. “We should bake a pie as a celebration.”

Castiel squints his eyes. “As a celebration?”

“Yeah!”

“What is it to celebrate?”

“The fact that we’re so damn close to getting rid of that stupid purple shield.”

Castiel studies him with his eyes, not understanding Dean’s motivation. “I think that you just want an excuse to eat pie.”

Dean scoffs. “Like I ever needed an excuse to eat pie.”

Castiel makes an agreeable pout. “Yes, you are right about that.”

Dean closes his laptop and stands up from the kitchen chair and looks at Cas expectantly.

“What?” Castiel asks.

“Move your ass and help me to make a pie,” Dean answers with a smug smile. “I think it’s time for you to learn how to make the best food in the world.”

Castiel closes his sketchbook and gives Dean a sassy look. “I think that pie being the best food in the world is debatable.”

“For your sake and mine,” Dean begins to say with a warning glare as Castiel stands up. “We are never gonna have that argument.”

Castiel presses his lips into a thin line, suppressing a smile, but he nods. “That is a really wise idea, Dean.”

Dean grins and starts getting all the ingredients needed to make an apple pie.

***

“I’m gonna get some pie,” Dean says as he stands up. He carries his and Cas’ empty dishes to the sink. “Want some?”

“Dean, we already had a slice each when we were watching _Deadpool_ ,” Castiel says in disbelief.

“So?” Dean asks casually, making Castiel roll his eyes.

They finished the pie right before Dean started making lunch. However, they didn’t taste it until it was afternoon, because they had to wait until the pie cooled off. And when they finally could eat it, they both agreed that they made a great job and that the pie tasted delicious.

“You still can get some slice,” Dean taunts as he the pie closer to Castiel, so the former angel can see its sweet filling. “You sure you don’t wanna have a tiny slice of this goodness?”

Castiel glares. “I hate you.” Then he sighs, resigned. “Cut me a small slice.”

Dean laughs, satisfied with himself. He cuts a small slice and puts it on a plate. Then, he walks back to the kitchen table, carrying both plates. When he is about to put Cas’ on the table, he stops himself.

“I’m not sure if I should let you eat it, though,” Dean begins to tease. “Because you said pie wasn’t that good.”

Castiel rolls his eyes dramatically, clearly tired of Dean’s teasing. “Are you going to be so petulant about this?”

“Hey, if you insult pie, you insult me, too.”

“For fuck’s sake, Dean,” Castiel mutters, clearly done with his behavior.

Dean grins widely, because he loves it when Cas curses. “Fine, I’ll stop teasing you.” He laughs and gives Cas the plate.

“You’re insufferable, sometimes.”

“And you’re a pain in the ass sometimes,” Dean replies as he sits down, still grinning widely. Then he winks. “But it’s all good.”

Castiel huffs, looking pissed, but his lips betray him as they draw a tiny smile.

After they eat their pie, they wash and dry the dishes together. Castiel washes while Dean dries. As always, they are so close that their shoulders bump together all the time, but neither of them complains; they never do.

Once they have finished that task, they retire to the living room to watch a movie.

The cabin is quite cold, so Dean grabs the blanket as he sits down on the couch. Castiel sits next to him, closer than usual, and Dean covers both of them with the warm and soft starry blanket.

“Better?” Dean asks as Cas snuggles next to him.

“Better,” Castiel affirms.

Dean smiles and switches on the TV with the remote. He starts surfing the channels, until he finds _Die Hard with a Vengeance_.

Castiel snuggles closer, pressing himself against Dean’s side, shivering a little.

“You still cold?” Dean asks, trying not to think about how close they are or how they could be cuddling if Dean got his arm around Cas’ shoulder.

“A little,” Castiel answers. “I don’t understand how you can be so warm.”

“I guess I’m hot blooded.”

“I think it must be all the calories you ingest in every meal,” Castiel deadpans.

Dean rolls his eyes but chuckles. “Asshole.”

“Could I—“ Castiel stars to stay. His cheeks flush slightly and he averts Dean’s eyes. “Could I get closer to you?”

Dean stares at him. He looks so shy and his blush is becoming more obvious. Does that mean that Cas is embarrassed about asking this?

“C’mere,” Dean says. He gets his arm around Cas’ shoulder and presses him against his side. His cheeks soon match the blush of Castiel’s.

Castiel lets out a silent sigh and snuggles a little bit closer, making Dean feel his chill temperature.

“If this is makes you uncomfortable, I can pull away,” Castiel mumbles.

“It doesn’t make me uncomfortable, Cas,” Dean says. He is confused about why Cas thinks he might find it uncomfortable; he actually loves having Cas like this, but it’s not like he can admit that out loud.

The fallen angel stays quiet for a while, then he nods and murmurs, “Okay.”

They barely say another word as they watch the movie, pressed together all the time. Dean hopes that Cas can’t hear the beating of his heart.

***

Dean spreads the starry blanket on top of the bed’s quilt. It is a cold night and an extra layer will come in handy; all their thickest clothes are in the bunker, so they have to use what they can.

He walks to the closet, standing next to Cas, who is getting undressed. Cas shivers as his skin is exposed to the coldness of the place, goosebumps running along his skin.

“If tomorrow isn’t raining, we’ll chop some wood for the chimney,” Dean announces, giving Cas a sympathetic look.

“Good,” Castiel says, quickly putting on his pajama pants.

He almost runs to the bed, and Dean quietly chuckles as he watches him. He can picture Cas in the middle of winter wearing tons of layers and a thick sweater to stop being cold. Dean likes that mental picture. Hopefully he will get to see it.

When he has his pajamas on, he walks to bed and gets in, feeling how cold the sheets are. It will take a while to warm up, but the blanket will speed that process.

“Being sensitive to temperature is an abomination,” Castiel announces grumpily.

Dean chuckles. “You’ll get used to it, don’t worry. Besides, you survived summer, and it was fucking hot. You’ll survive autumn and winter. At least when you’re cold, you can put on more layers. It’s not like being hot, when you wanna rip your skin off and you can’t.”

“Summer is an abomination.”

“Is it everything you don’t like going to be an abomination from now on?”

“Yes,” Castiel says seriously.

Dean shakes his head and chuckles.

“Could you switch off the lights, please?” Castiel asks. “I don’t want to get cold again.”

Dean huffs. “Yeah, sure.” He turns to his side, looking for the switch. When the lights are off, Dean quickly gets his arm back under the covers, happily greeting the warmth. “G’night, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

As always, Dean falls asleep easily with Cas next to him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back to my usual time. Thank you so damn much for reading and for all the amazing comments, as well as for the kudos, the bookmarks and the subscriptions :')

Even though Dean knew that he and Cas were going to wake up pressed together, it still catches him by surprise.

This time, Cas has his face buried in Dean’s chest and his hand is on Dean’s waist. Meanwhile, Dean has both of his arms around Cas’ body, holding him close.

At least he doesn’t have a morning boner as he did yesterday.

As the expert he has become in the past few days, Dean carefully extracts himself from Cas. As he does so, he feels the coldness of the bed, immediately hating it. The urge to remain pressed against Cas, sharing their warmth, is so tempting. But the fear of being caught holding Cas is bigger. He doesn’t want to see Cas’ horrified face when he sees how close they are. Although, given how Cas wanted to get so close to him in the couch last night, he might not be as horrified as Dean pictures, right?

Dean isn’t going to take that risk. He keeps moving away, but it is hard when Cas face is still buried in his chest. Whatever movement Dean makes is going to probably wake Cas up.

He remains still, contemplating his options, but then Cas stirs and Dean freezes immediately.

Castiel sighs delighted, and it almost sounds like a purr. He opens his eyes slightly, and frowns at Dean’s t-shirt before he looks at Dean, who doesn’t know what expression he is making.

“Sorry,” Castiel says as he pulls away from Dean. “You’re really warm.”

Dean swallows audibly and watches how Cas puts some distance in between them. His friend closes his eyes and rubs his cheek on the pillow, not ready to wake up just yet. Dean keeps staring at him, not knowing what to feel or do.

He rolls onto his back and contemplates the ceiling. What he knows for sure is that he hates not having Cas pressed against him and that the bed now feels so damn cold.

“Is it late?” Castiel mumbles, dragging Dean away from his thoughts.

Dean grabs his phone and checks the time. There are still eighteen minutes left until ten. “It’s not ten A.M. yet.”

Castiel hums in approval.

Dean turns his face to look at Cas, wanting to say something, but he doesn’t know what. He feels awkward, and he doesn’t know if Cas feels the same. So in order to test the waters, he says, “I’m thinking about making pancakes and bacon for breakfast.”

“That sounds great, Dean,” Castiel says with a tiny smile.

Dean nods to himself. Well, at least things are still okay in between them. Sometimes he overthinks stuff way too much. It’s his damn heart’s fault.

***

“We need to find a tree that isn’t damp,” Dean says as they walk through the woods, carrying two axes.

It isn’t raining today, but the temperature is still low, and they need to warm up the cabin. They need some wood for the chimney, but for that, the wood must be as dry as possible, but most of the trees as still damp from all the rain from yesterday.

Castiel looks around, studying every tree. “Do we need a specific type of wood?”

“Oak, birch or maple would be ideal, and also a fruit tree too,” Dean answers.

Castiel nods and they keep walking.

The sky is cloudy, hiding the sun and its rays, making it harder to find dry wood.

Eventually, they find a place where some sunrays have made it through the clouds. Dean and Cas look at each other and then they approach the place. Dean starts touching the trunks of those trees, noticing that some of them are damper than others. After some testing, he sees that the thin maple is the driest one.

“This one will do,” Dean announces.

He and Castiel begin to cut down the maple. It doesn’t take them too long, but they are both sweating once the tree falls onto the ground.

Dean goes to his duffel bag and drinks a generous amount of water while Castiel begins to cut the trunk in smaller sections. Dean stares at him, admiring how strong Cas is.

“I could use your help,” Castiel sasses when he notices Dean’s eyes on him.

Dean blushes and puts the bottle of water back inside his bag before he joins Cas.

Once they have enough pieces of wood for almost a week, they head back to the cabin.

Dean gets some logs and puts them inside the chimney while Castiel puts the rest of them on a pile. It doesn’t take long for Dean to start the fire, and when he does, he smiles, proud of himself.

Castiel comes next to him and squats in front of the fire, warming himself up.

“Nice, huh?” Dean says with a grin.

“Very,” Castiel agrees, clearly glad that he doesn’t have to freeze anymore.

Dean grins and stands up. He takes off his coat and leaves it on the hanger next to the door. He then walks to the coach, sitting on it. He can feel the warmth of the fire brushing his skin, and he finds himself relaxing.

Castiel joins him after he has hung his trench coat next to Dean’s coat. He sighs happily as he sits down. He closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth of the fire as well. Dean looks at his face, painted with the warm colors of the fire, casting shadows on his skin.  
He eventually opens his eyes and leans onto the backrest, but his eyes keep looking at the flames in the chimney.

“What are you thinking?” Dean wonders, resting the back of his head on the top of the backrest, tilting his head to his right so he can see Cas’ pensive expression.

“Nothing, actually,” Castiel answers in a low voice. “I was only mesmerized by the fire.” He slowly blinks, almost as if he was waking up from a dream. Then, he turns to look at Dean. “It’s really cozy in here.”

“Yeah. I don’t feel like doing nothing at all right now. Or even moving.” He chuckles.

“Then let’s not.”

Dean chuckles again. “Okay.”

Suddenly, Dean’s phone starts ringing. Dean grabs it and the name on the screen tells him that it is Sam. He answers the call and puts it on speaker immediately.

“Hey, Sam,” Dean says. “What’s up?”

“Hey,” Sam greets. “Eileen and I found a way to contact Rowena.”

“Really?” Dean and Castiel say at the same time.

“Yeah. We actually managed to talk to her. We explained her the situation with you guys, and talked to her about the relics.”

“And?” Dean asks.

“She said that she needs to see how the relic looks. Apparently, depending on the colors of the relics, they can be destroyed one way or another.”

“Okay, well, I guess we’ll have to go to the graveyard and unbury that relic.”

“What about that protection spell we saw on the tombstone?” Castiel asks, looking at Dean. “We can’t go there unless we know how to get rid of that protection.”

“I showed Rowena those symbols and she gave me the ingredients for the spell and the incantation,” Sam intervenes. “Most of them are things we have in the Impala, but you’ll also need the eye of a recently deceased human.”

“How recently?” Dean asks, already grossed out.

“Three days at most.”

Dean groans in disgust.

“I’ll send you all the ingredients needed for that spell and the incantation,” Sam explains. “Also, I’ll send you what you need to summon Rowena so you can talk to her. Again, you guys have most of that stuff in the Impala, but you’re also gonna need the blood of someone who’s been to Hell, which is obviously not a problem, graveyard dirt and a crushed human tooth.”

“What is it with spells and body parts?” Dean protests.

“I don’t know,” Sam sighs. “Rowena said that you should contact her tomorrow, because apparently, she is busy in Hell today.”

“Well, that’s fine. We need time to get all that stuff.”

“Did Rowena say anything about any precautions we should take once we have the relic?” Castiel asks, worried.

“She said that you should not touch it directly. When you’re about to get it, use a cloth or something,” Sam explains. “That’d be enough.”

“Okay. Thank you, Sam.”

“Yeah, thanks, Sam,” Dean adds. “We’ll try to get all that stuff tonight and we’ll contact Rowena tomorrow, unless something goes wrong.”

“Okay,” Sam says. “By the way, I’ve already called Claire. She’ll come tomorrow to the bunker and gather all the ingredients. So call me once you’ve talked to Rowena, in case she tells you to get something to destroy the relics, so that Claire can bring it to you.”

“Will do.” Dean hangs up the phone and looks at Cas. “Okay, so we need to get a tooth to contact Rowena and an eye of someone who’s been dead for less than three days.”

“We need to go to the morgue,” Castiel supplies.

“Yeah, but we’re gonna have to wait ‘til night, when it would be empty. We can’t go in there without any pretext and much less see a corpse and steal their eye. It’ll be obvious that we stole it.”

“You are right. We will have to break in. And then, we will go to the graveyard, collect the graveyard dirt for the spell to contact Rowena, and do the other spell to break the relic’s protection.”

“That’s the plan, yeah,” Dean says with a grimace. “Man, I hope this time we don’t end up bleeding so bad that we have to go to the hospital.”

***

Breaking in the morgue turns out to be so simple. Dean was expecting more security or at least a more complicated lock, but it only takes him thirty seconds to open the door and get inside. He can’t believe their luck.

Silently and slowly, just in case something is waiting for them inside, Dean and Castiel advance through the place until they find the files of the deceased people in the morgue. Castiel holds the flashlight while Dean looks through the files, trying to find the most recent corpse.

“The one in number four,” Dean announces. Castiel opens the cold chamber labeled with a four, revealing the body of an old man. “He died last night.”

Castiel nods and drops his duffel bag onto the floor. Dean lights up Castiel’s bag with his flashlight, helping Cas to find the gloves, the mask and the penknife. He quickly puts on the gloves and the mask, and then with the utensil in hand, he walks back to the corpse.

“Put on your globes and mask, too,” Castiel says.

Dean nods and does as he is told. He returns to stand in front of Cas, lighting up the face of the corpse.

“This is so fucking gross,” Dean complains. He is quite sure that he is going to throw up.

“I agree,” Castiel says, resigned. “But we need to do it.”

Dean simply nods and Castiel begins to work.

Later, Dean will be the one extracting a tooth from the same man. His task is going to be less disgusting, he knows that for sure.

He really hates witches.

***

Before they leave the morgue, both of them wash themselves intently on a sink. They didn’t get stained with blood or any type of body fluid, but they both feel the need to clean themselves after extracting the eye.

They drive to the graveyard next, and when they leave the Impala, they grab two shovels as well as their duffel bags.

“Where was the mausoleum with a dome?” Dean asks, looking around. There is only some weak moonlight lightning up the graveyard, but the dark clouds keep moving and the place gets even darker. Dean can only see shadows.

“That way,” Castiel says, pointing the direction with his flashlight. “We should also collect the graveyard dirt. Just in case something goes wrong.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Dean hands Castiel his shovel. He looks into his duffel bag until he gets a small jar. He then squats and fills the jar with some graveyard dirt while Castiel lights the spot. “You think that’s enough?”

“Yes, I think it is.”

Dean nods and puts the jar back into his duffel bag. “Alright, Cas. You lead the way.”

Castiel starts walking and Dean follows him. As they advance through the place, Dean seems to be more familiar with his surroundings.

Cas finds the mausoleum with a dome, and then he and Dean start looking for the tombstone with the protection symbols. It takes them a while to find it in the dark, but they eventually find it.

“Here it is,” Dean says. “Ready?”

Castiel exhales sharply instead of answering.

They both kneel onto the ground, dropping their shovels before they start rummaging everything they need to get rid of the protection spell.

“Here,” Castiel says as he hands Dean some globes.

“Thanks,” Dean says as he grabs them.

Castiel begin to put into the small bowl all the ingredients Sam listed, except for the eye, which has to be added last. As Castiel finishes with each ingredient, he puts the remaining quantities back into his duffel back, not wanting to lose any of them.

“You can put the eye in now,” Castiel says.

Dean nods and grimaces. He picks the jar with the eye inside it. He opens it and lets it drop into the mixture. After that, he proceeds to crush the eye with his fingers, letting all the fluids mix with the rest of the ingredients.

Dean can’t help lifting his eyes skyward. “This is the grossest thing we’ve ever done.”

“It is,” Castiel agrees, sounding quite grossed out as well. “The sounds don’t help either.”

“Yeah,” Dean mutters, closing his eyes. “Please, tell me that this is done.”

“I believe so.”

“Great.” Dean lets out a relieved sigh. “Show me the symbol I have to paint over these symbols.”

Castiel picks his phone and goes through his texts until he finds the photo Sam sent them. He shows it to Dean, who looks at it carefully before he begins to draw it on the tombstone.

“Keep it like that,” Dean says. “So I can still look at it.”

Castiel does as he is told.

In less than a minute, Dean has the symbol painted and he stands up. He places his wasted gloves into the jar where the eye was; he will throw that thing away later.

“Now we need to say the incantation,” Castiel says.

“Yeah, I know,” Dean says. “How about we step away a little? Just in case something happens and we’re thrown away or something like that?”

“I think that’s really wise.”

They both stand up and step away, until they feel it is safe.

“Okay, Cas, you’re the one who’s better with languages,” Dean begins to say, looking around again, just in case. “You say the incantation.”

Castiel nods. He looks at his phone again and he begins to say the incantation.

Immediately, the symbol turns purple, and the other symbols carved on the tombstone start to light up, until fire appears out of them.

“Holy shit,” Dean mutters.

The flames spread and become vicious, as if they wanted to attack anyone who was within reach. It only last for a few seconds, and then the fire disappears, revealing four perfect holes for each symbol that was burnt.

“Thankfully you thought about stepping away,” Castiel remarks, looking at the tombstone with wide eyes.

“Yeah,” Dean breathes out. “This witch is making me take some serious cautions.”

“Serious but effective.”

Dean nods and sighs. He clasps Cas’ arm and then begins to walk towards his shovel. “C’mon, the fun has just started.”

Castiel follows him and grabs his shovel as well.

Dean is about to start digging, but he notices Cas’ worried look.

“What is it?” Dean asks, frowning.

“I was making sure that there aren’t any other symbols or runes,” Castiel answers.

“If they are, they’re probably in the casket. But I really hope there aren’t any more spells. I’m fucking done with them.”

Castiel huffs.

The two of them start to dig up. The coldness of the night helps them to sweat less, but the effort still tires them. Dean is getting to old for this. Digging up has never been an easy task, but it is getting harder and harder the older he gets. He wonders what it must be like for Cas now that he is human.

“How you doing, Cas?” Dean asks, stopping for a moment to catch his breath. “Feeling tired yet?”

“I am exhausted. This task is an abomination,” Castiel grunts.

Dean laughs. “I agree with you for once.” He reaches for his bottle of water and takes a swig. “Want some?” he asks, offering it to Cas.

“Yes, thank you.” Castiel grabs the bottle and drinks as much as Dean. Then, he hands it back, and Dean puts it back next to his bag. “I wish there was an easier and faster way to do this.”

“Same, buddy. Same.”

They keep digging for longer, feeling more and more exhausted as time passes. Their muscles and arms are aching, but then, their shovels hit something hard, and Dean and Castiel look at each other with a content smile.

“Let’s uncover this and see if there are symbols or some sort of crap like that,” Dean says.

He and Castiel put their shovels aside and with their hands they begin to uncover the casket. Castiel reaches for his flashlight and studies every inch of the wooden casket, seeing that there aren’t any symbols carved.

“There are no symbols,” Castiel says.

“Awesome,” Dean breathes out with a smile. “Alright, let’s open this thing.”

With little effort, they open the coffin, revealing a skeleton covered in clothes that are torn and faded. Once again, Castiel grabs his flashlight and studies every place of the coffin, but this time, he is looking for the relic.

“Wait,” Dean says, touching Castiel’s arm. “Light the ribcage again.”

Castiel lights up that part and they both notice a necklace with a round and shiny stone, with shades of pink and orange.

“That’s the relic,” Castiel says.

“Yeah,” Dean agrees.

He grabs a cloth he left near the bottle and then he kneels onto the skeleton. Without touching it, he carefully grabs the relic, struggling at first because the string of the necklace is tangled in several parts of the ribcage.

When he is finally able to free it, he holds the relic on top of his palm, which is covered by the cloth, and he and Cas look at it intrigued. It is such a small thing, but it is supposed to have so much power.

“This is one of the sons of bitches keeping us here,” Dean says, huffing. “This little thing and its twin are responsible for keeping us trapped in this town.” He huffs again and covers the relic completely with the cloth.

“Were you expecting something bigger?” Castiel asks, arching his brow.

“Not bigger. More like something more impressive, I don’t know.” He shrugs and puts the cloth with the relic inside his duffel bag. “I wasn’t expecting a necklace.”

“By turning something so powerful into something so ordinary, the witch managed to hide the true nature of the relic. I think it is quite clever.”

“Dude, do not compliment the witch,” Dean complains with a groan. “She tried to kill us, she trapped us in this town and her spells have almost killed us a few times.”

“Despite that, you must admit that she was clever.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Whatever. Let’s just burry this again and get the fuck out of here.”

***

It starts drizzling the moment they grab all their stuff and begin to walk back to the Impala.

“Fuck,” Dean grunts, looking at the sky. “You could’ve waited until we reached Baby!”

“Who are you talking to?” Castiel asks confused, making his brand own confused face; squinted eyes, titling his head to one side and a frown.

“I’m talking to the sky.”

“You know that the sky isn’t an entity and therefore can’t hear you, right?”

“Yes, Cas, I know that,” Dean snaps. Castiel still keeps giving him that confused stare. “Let’s just run towards the Impala before it starts raining more heavily.”

They run back to the Impala, being quite careful with their steps, not wanting to slip. The shovels are uncomfortable to carry as they run, but they don’t stop at all.

The moment they reach the Impala, Dean opens the trunk and the two of them drop their shovels and their duffel bags. Then, they quickly get into the Impala, glad to be sheltered. They didn’t get too wet, but it is nice to have a roof above their heads.

“Open the glovebox,” Dean says. “I’ve got some wipes to get rid of the graveyard dirt.”

Castiel opens the glovebox and grabs a package of wipes. He gets some for himself and then hands the package to Dean, who also gets a few of them.

They clean their hands in silence, wiping all the dirt they got on their hands and the few smudges on their faces. Once they are done, they place the used wipes on a plastic bag that Dean will throw away later.

“We did everything we had to do for tonight, right?” Dean asks, running his hand through his slightly wet hair.

“Yes. We got the ingredients for the spell to contact Rowena and we acquired the relic,” Castiel states.

“Good, good,” Dean breathes out, relieved. “And the best part is that we didn’t get hurt at all. There are no wounds to heal and we don’t need to take a trip to the hospital.”

“No. We only have sore muscles from all that digging,” Castiel sasses.

“Hey, I’d take this pain instead of having to deal with another head wound.”

Castiel makes an agreeable pout. “You’re right.”

Dean smiles and starts the car. He presses the play button and Led Zeppelin fills the car as they drive away from the graveyard. It only takes Dean a few seconds to start drumming on the wheel and sing. Castiel looks at him with a smile.

“You look happy,” Castiel notes.

“Fuck yeah,” Dean says. “We’ve been through shit these past two weeks. But now, we’re finally having some good luck.” He turns his face to look at Cas and he gives him one of his widest grins.

Castiel mirrors it.

Dean keeps singing and drumming his fingers on the wheel. Cas soon starts singing, too, and Dean feels so happy.

The drive back to the cabin turns out to be shorter than he expected. Time flies when you are singing your favorite songs along with your best friend.

Dean stops the car. He is about to stop the music as well, but Cas stops him.

“Let’s finish the song, please,” Castiel says.

 _Ramble On_ is the song playing. Dean looks at him surprised at first, but then he smiles and says, “Okay.”

They keep listening to the song, singing along it, going off key quite a few times, but they don’t mind. They look at each other as they sing, knowing they are making ridiculous faces, but it is really fun and it makes them smile.

When the song ends, they stare and each other and start laughing happily.

“Fuck, I love you so much, Cas,” Dean says.

The moment the words are out, the two of them freeze, clearly shocked. They look at each other, not knowing what to say.

Dean can’t believe he just confessed his love to Cas so easily. He can’t believe he uttered those words at all.

 _Fuck_ , Dean thinks.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so damn much for reading and for all the lovely comments you leave. And thanks for the kudos, the bookmarks and the subscriptions :')

Castiel keeps looking at him wide eyed. Dean keeps looking at him, mouth open, unable to say another word. They keep staring at each other in silence, only hearing the constant sound of the rain falling onto the Impala.

A moment passes, and then another, until Castiel opens his mouth to utter something, but Dean speaks first.

“I’m sorry,” Dean says, panic taking over his voice. “Just forget I said that, okay? Let’s just forget I said anything at all.” He looks away from Cas because he can’t take the shocked way Cas is looking at him right now. His heart is not ready to deal with this. “I fucked up, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m so fucking sorry. We should just forget all of this.”

“Dean,” Castiel begins to say. “I—”

But before Castiel can say anything, Dean leaves the Impala, not wanting to hear the words that are going to confirm that he really fucked up and that Cas hates him. He just confessed to Cas, and he is panicking, because he knows he shouldn’t have said it. The words just slipped out of him without his permission and now Cas is going to be mad at him or hate him and Dean can’t take it right now. He needs to get away from Cas. He needs to put some distance in between them and get somewhere where he calm himself, or maybe somewhere where he can get so drunk that this horrible moments fades away from his memory.

“Dean!” Castiel yells as he runs towards Dean. Before Dean can react, Cas grabs his shoulder and turns him around so they are face to face, but Dean refuses to look at him. He is scared of finding hate or pity in that beautiful face. “Dean, I—”

“No,” Dean interrupts, looking at his boots. “Don’t say anything, okay? At least not right now, ‘cause I can’t take it.” Hesitantly, he looks at Cas’ face and he sees the hurt in his eyes, which only manages to break Dean’s heart even more. “I know you don’t feel the same, and that’s fine, so let’s just pretend I didn’t say anything.”

Once again, before Castiel can say a single word, Dean turns around, wanting to reach the cabin, but Cas stops him again. He grabs Dean’s shoulder again and turns him.

“Cas, please,” Dean begins to warn, desperate.

“Dean, you damn idiot,” Castiel mutters.

He cups Dean’s face and kisses him. Dean closes his eyes instinctively, but his brain is having a hard time to process the fact that Cas is kissing him. It is just a press of lips and Dean isn’t moving his, but it is still awesome for Dean.

Castiel pulls away and looks at Dean, who is still startled because Cas just kissed him.

“I love you, too,” Castiel murmurs.

“You— you love me?” Dean asks in disbelief.

Castiel smiles and his thumbs caress Dean’s wet cheeks. “Of course, Dean.”

Dean stares at him, still processing Cas’ words. Cas loves him. Holy fuck. Cas, former angel of the lord, loves him.

Dean smiles shakily and then he presses his lips against Cas, kissing him properly. This time, Cas is the one who startles, but he quickly kisses Dean back, moaning into the kiss, a sound that sends shivers down Dean’s spine.

He presses their bodies together as he cups Castiel’s face. They keep kissing under the rain, desperate for something they have wanted for a long time but never allowed themselves to have until now. But also with so much love that it is overwhelming in a good way. Dean can’t recall if he has ever been kissed with so much love before.

“We should probably head inside,” Dean whispers, out of breath.

“Yes,” Castiel agrees, also breathy.

Pulling away is hard, but they do it and they get inside the cabin. The moment Dean closes the door behind him, Castiel presses Dean against it and kisses him, making Dean moan. He tentatively presses his tongue against Castiel’s lips and Castiel opens his mouth, welcoming him in.

Dean places one of his hands on Castiel’s face, brushing with his fingers his jaw, while the other runs through Castiel’s hair. Cas keeps one of his hands on Dean’s nape, and with his other hand, he keeps it pressed against Dean’s chest, right above his heart.

They keep kissing as if they were each other’s air. As if they had been drowning for a decade and they had finally found a way to finally breathe.

One of Dean’s hands finds its way under Castiel’s t-shirt and he starts caressing Cas’ torso. His fingers brush Cas’ nipple and the fallen angel wails a moan that makes him pull away from the kiss. He looks at Dean’s with dark eyes and something hot runs down Dean’s body. Castiel then directs his mouth to Dean’s neck, kissing and sucking it and Dean groans at the feeling, loving the way Cas’ stubble rasps against his skin.

Dean opens his legs just enough to allow Cas to get his leg in between. He chases Cas’ mouth as they rub their groins together, feeling how each other get harder at the friction. Castiel’s hand sneaks under Dean’s t-shirt and his fingers start playing with his nipple. Dean moans delighted at the touch and he tilts his head up.

“Bedroom, now,” Dean mumbles, lost in the feeling. He has always been so sensitive there.

Castiel pulls away and Dean grabs his hand, pulling him to the bedroom. They turn on the lights in there and then they start kissing again.

They begin to take off each other’s coats, dropping them onto the floor. They separate momentarily to take off their boots and socks, and then they go back to kissing with desperation, not wanting to pull away from each other unless it is completely necessary.

Dean walks backwards towards the bed, pulling Castiel with him, never breaking the kiss. They take off each other’s shirts, dropping them onto the floor. When Dean feels the edge of the bed against his calves, Castiel quickly takes off his t-shirt. Once the item of clothing is gone, Dean takes off Castiel’s, and before Castiel can go back to kissing him, Dean falls onto the mattress and grins at Castiel.

“C’mere,” Dean says, huskily.

Castiel doesn’t waste a single second and he gets on Dean and they keep kissing.

Dean’s hands roam over Castiel’s chest, so glad that he finally gets to touch him, to feel the shapes of his strong muscles, his collarbone and the dip of his hipbones. With steady hands he unzips Castiel’s jeans, shifting his hand so he can feel it against the hard line of Castiel’s cock.

Castiel gasps and looks at Dean, who keeps rubbing his palm, teasing him. Castiel closes his eyes and bites his bottom lip, and Dean can’t help smirking at how good Cas looks right now as he chases Dean’s touch.

Dean lifts his head to reach Castiel’s lips and he kisses him. His hands pull down Castiel’s jeans along with his boxers, helped by Castiel, who kicks them out of the way. Once he is completely naked, Castiel brings his hands to take off Dean’s jeans and underwear as well. He presses down his big and warm palm against the front of Dean’s boxers, his fingers pulling down the waistband just enough to free the head of Dean’s cock. It is just a teasing touch, but Dean finds himself rolling his hips, wanting more of that touch.

Finally, Castiel takes his pants and boxers down, and Dean lifts his hips to quicken the process, kicking them away one they have reached his ankles.

They are now completely naked, pressed together, skin against skin. They stop kissing to look at each other, needing a moment to make sure that this is happening. Dean lifts his hand and cups Castiel’s face. The fallen angel smiles crookedly but happily. Dean mirrors that smile. Castiel turns his face to kiss Dean’s palm and then he leans down to capture Dean’s lips in between him.

Dean gets his arms around Castiel’s body while Castiel’s hands slide down his sides, tracing his body, feeling every muscle and bone under his hands. When he reaches Dean’s thighs, he slightly lifts them, and Dean quickly gets them around Cas’ hips, loving the feeling of being pressed together, of holding Cas with everything he has.

He rolls his hips, lining up both of their cocks, making the two of them moan. Castiel moves his mouth until he catches Dean’s earlobe and sucks. Dean’s whole body arches and he rolls his hips harder and faster, matching the pace of Castiel’s movements.

Dean sneaks a hand in between them and he wraps it around both of their cocks. He begins to jerk the two of them as their cocks rub together. Cas lets out a loud moan and soon, his hand is joining Dean’s, moving at the same time as him.

“Fuck, Cas,” Dean moans out loud.

“Dean,” Castiel groans against Dean’s skin.

Their lips meet again in a hot and messy kiss. They keep fucking into their joined hands, rolling their hips with a steady and quick pace.

Castiel’s free hand finds Dean’s and they intertwine their fingers. They rest them on the pillow, next to Dean’s head, holding tight onto each other.

Their rhythm begins to falter as they get closer to their release. Their movements are eager and desperate, but they don’t stop. Dean kisses the corner of Castiel’s mouth, his cheek and his jaw before Castiel smashes their mouths for a hurried kiss and when he pulls away, he presses their foreheads together, breathing into each other, sharing the same space.

Castiel comes first, letting out a loud moan with Dean’s name on it. Dean follows him a second later, moaning Castiel’s name. They try to keep their eyes open and watch the other fall apart, but their eyes fall shut as they keep spilling onto their stomachs, riding on the aftershocks.

When they are done with their releases, Castiel collapses onto Dean, burying his face in the curve of his neck. Dean sinks onto the mattress. He slides down his legs, stretching them onto the mattress. He gives Cas’ hand a soft squeeze and then places the other one on Castiel’s back. They both let out a content sigh at the same time.

Dean is panting and so is Castiel. He likes the feeling of Castiel’s hot breath against his skin and the feeling of the two of them being boneless, unable to move just yet.

Eventually, Castiel moves slightly. His free hand cups Dean’s face and he kisses Dean, sweetly and happily. When he pulls away, they look at each other, both happy and sated.

“Hey,” Dean murmurs as he brushes Castiel’s hair.

“Hello,” Castiel says, grinning.

“Not that I’m complaining, but you’re kind of heavy,” Dean remarks with a smug smile.

Castiel huffs and slides down slightly, until he is lying on his side. He snuggles against Dean, making sure that there isn’t any space left in between their bodies, and then he throws his arm on Dean’s chest.

“Better?” Castiel asks with a sassy voice.

“Better,” Dean answers before cupping his jaw and kissing him again.

This time he takes his time with the kiss, wanting to enjoy it and explore Cas’ lips and mouth.

When they pull away, they look at each other’s eyes. It is in that moment when all of Dean’s fears and doubts decide to come back to him. It must show in his face, because Castiel is quickly looking at him with worried eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Castiel asks, and Dean can detect a note of fear in his voice.

Dean takes a deep breath and holds Castiel’s hand. His thumb brushes his knuckles repeatedly and he decides to rest his eyes there. He needs to say some important words, and he isn’t sure if he will be able to do so under Castiel’s beautiful and intense blue eyes.

“I don’t wanna hurt you, Cas,” Dean confesses in a murmur, loud enough for Cas. “I’m not— I—” He exhales sharply, hating the way his words seem to be stuck in his throat. “I’m not a good man.”

“You are a good man, Dean,” Castiel says.

Dean chuckles bitterly and he looks up, feeling the threat of tears in his eyes. “C’mon, Cas, you know that’s not true. I’ve done some awful stuff. I’ve hurt you several times and I—”

“I have done awful stuff, too. And I have hurt you too, unfortunately,” Castiel interrupts, trying to stare into Dean’s eyes, but Dean keeps avoiding his stare. Castiel cups his face and makes Dean look at him. “You know the things I have done and I know the things you have done. The good and the bad things. And yet, here we are, despite all the bad things. Because we worked through those mistakes, because we choose to.”

Dean lets out a shaky breath and closes his eyes, leaning onto Castiel’s palm. A few tears fall down his eyes, running down his hot cheeks. Castiel leans and kisses the trail, trying to calm him.

Cas is so kind, sweet and patient with him, and Dean doesn’t think he deserves this.

“Cas,” Dean whispers as he opens his eyes. “I’m so fucking scared of hurting you, of fucking up. I—” He grits his teeth and exhales sharply, unable to continue.

“I’m scared, too,” Castiel confesses.

Dean frowns. “Why would you be scared?”

“Do you think you are the only one who is scared of hurting someone he loves?”

Dean simply stares at him, lost at words.

“Dean,” Castiel goes on. “I am terrified of hurting you somehow. I am terrified of losing you. I am terrified of not being good enough for you.”

“You’re way better than I deserve, Cas,” Dean says. He can’t believe that Cas shares his fears. Dean has always been the one who has been buried in self-loathing all his life. He is an expert in fucking up. He can’t being to comprehend why Cas would feel like that too. “I’m just a fucked up hunter, Cas.”

“And I’m just a fallen angel, Dean,” Castiel says with a sad smile. “But despite all of my fears and my self-doubt, I want to be with you, Dean. I want to be with you for as long as you will have me.”

“You mean it?” Dean breathes out, looking at Cas’ eyes. There’s hope building in his chest, and for once, Dean doesn’t want that feeling to go away.

“Of course.”

“Are you sure? Because, I’m not— Cas, I’m not someone who makes things easy I’ve got a lot of problems, a lot of anger management issues, and I also don’t know how to say stuff that I should say. It’s gonna be infuriating and frustrating. It’s gonna be a hard journey.”

“Maybe it will be the case,” Castiel says with a sweet smile. “But it will be worth it.”

Dean stares at him, loss at words once again. His fears and doubts are there, but Cas wants to be with him. Dean doesn’t think he is worthy of this, but maybe, for the first time in his life, he can have what his heart desires, even if it can be scary.

He has been aching for so long, he has spent so many lonely nights and days, pining over a love he thought was unrequired. But now, here they are, after everything. They love each other, they want to take a chance at being together. They know the good and bad stuff from each other, and still, they want to build something together.

And for once, Dean decides to put aside all his fears and doubts and let himself have some happiness.

Dean decides to cup Castiel’s face and kisses him deeply and sweetly. “Okay,” he mumbles after pulling away, noticing that Cas has shred some tears. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Castiel repeats before kissing Dean again.

When they pull away, they press their foreheads together and lace their fingers.

“How long have you been…?” Dean begins to ask.

“In love with you?” Castiel finishes. Dean nods. “Way before I even knew what being in love was. I don’t know when it started, but I know I realized I was in love with you the first time I fell, during the first apocalypse.”

Dean’s eyebrows shoot up. “That long?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

Castiel huffs. “I thought you didn’t feel the same. And I was scared that my love confession would make me lose you as a friend.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“What about you?” Castiel asks. “How long have you been in love with me?”

“A long time ago, too. I think I started falling in love with you after Zachariah sent me to the future. I tried to get rid of those feelings because you were a freaking angel of the Lord and I knew it would do me no good, but I still kept falling harder and harder for you.” He huffs as he remembers all his struggles, all the times he tried to deny his feelings. He can’t believe it was so long ago. “There were a few times when I almost told you, you know?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. But it was always wrong place, wrong time. Plus I thought you didn’t love me back.”

“I’m glad you finally told me,” Castiel says with a sweet smile.

“Yeah. First time that my big mouth doesn’t get me into trouble,” Dean snorts.

Castiel grins and he kisses Dean. It is tender and full of love, and Dean finds himself wondering how they could have spent so many years without kissing.

“We should’ve kissed a long time ago,” Dean says when they pull away to get some air.

Castiel chuckles. “I agree. We should have also had sex a long time ago.”

Dean grins widely. “Fuck yeah.”

He goes back to kissing Cas and gets his arms around him, pressing him closer as Castiel’s fingers brush his jaw.

They keep making out lazily for a while, taking their time on kissing and touching each other, not wanting to take things further, happy with their kisses and their caresses.

After a while, they pull away. Dean sees that Cas’ lips are red and swollen, shiny with some saliva. His cheeks are also flushed, and his eyes have a special brightness to them. He is pretty sure that he looks the same.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean says.

“For what?” Castiel asks, confused.

“For everything. Being patient with me, wanting to take a chance with me, for still wanting to be with me despite all my shit… You know, for everything.”

“Thank you for doing the same with me.”

Dean stares at him in awe and Castiel presses a peck on his lips.

“I think we should get some sleep,” Castiel says.

“Yeah, we should,” Dean murmurs.

Dean covers the two of them with the sheets and then Castiel turns off the lights. Before Dean can draw him back, Cas is already snuggling against Dean’s side, tangling their legs and placing his head under Dean’s chin. He also spreads his arm on Dean’s chest, resting his hand above Dean’s heart.

“That was fast,” Dean says laughing as he gets his arms around Cas, pulling him impossibly closer.

“I have wanted to do this for a long time,” Castiel confesses. “Even more so since we started sleeping in this bed.”

“Yeah? Me, too.” He smiles in the dark, loving the fact that they can finally hold each other in bed. “No wonder why we both ended up holding each other every time we woke up.”

“You only held me once,” Castiel says. Even though Dean can’t see him in the dark, he knows he is frowning.

“I always pulled away before you woke up. I didn’t want you to make you uncomfortable, so I moved away. You’re a heavy sleeper, that’s why you never caught me.”

Cas hums. “Well, I hope that when I wake up tomorrow, you will still be holding me.”

Dean grins. “Trust me, I will.” He presses a kiss on Castiel’s crown. “G’night, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

Dean doesn’t think he has fallen asleep so easily, feeling so damn happy.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so damn much for reading and for every single comment you guys leave me. Also, thanks for the kudos, the bookmarks and the subscriptions :')

Dean wakes up and finds that he and Cas are holding each other, but for the first time, instead of panicking and pulling away, he grins and holds Cas tighter. He closes his eyes, loving the feeling of he and Cas embraced, pressed together, feeling warm, cozy and safe. After so many days putting space in between them every time he woke up, Dean can now have this.

Castiel kisses his collarbone and then nuzzles the same spot. Dean opens his eyes to look at him.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Dean says.

“It’s still too damn early, Dean,” Castiel complains, burying his face in the crook of Dean’s neck. He also tightens his embrace around Dean.

Dean laughs. “Lazy ass.”

He manages to shift just enough so they can kiss. He doesn’t care about morning breath at all. He kisses Cas lazily and sweetly, treasuring every little moan Cas makes against his lips.

When he pulls away, Dean is surprised to see that Cas is smiling.

“Wow,” Dean says. “I made you smile in the morning before you had your coffee. That’s remarkable.”

Castiel huffs, clearly irritated, and rolls his eyes before closing them. “You are insufferable, Dean.”

Dean laughs and then he rolls Cas onto his back before lying on top of him. He starts kissing the sharp line of his jaw, and then he moves to his pulse point. Castiel lets out a content sigh and his hand comes to stroke Dean’s hair.

“Dean,” Castiel breathes out.

“Am I still insufferable?” Dean teases with a smirk.

Castiel glares him. “Yes, you are.”

Dean arches his brow playfully. “Oh, yeah?” He keeps his eyes on Castiel’s face as he starts leaving a trail of kisses on his chest. He quickly moves to Castiel’s nipple, pressing wet kisses onto it. Castiel moans deeply. “Still insufferable?”

“Not anymore,” Cas says with a husky voice.

Dean chuckles. He moves his mouth to Cas’ other nipple, feeling how Cas’ cock perks up as well as his own.

When Cas’ nipple is hard, Dean keeps descending his kisses. Castiel’s hand never leaves his hair, while the other grips the sheets tightly. Dean sucks a mark on his left hipbone and then on the inner of his thigs. Cas keeps moaning Dean’s name, firing up Dean’s arousal.

Then, Dean wraps his lips around the head of Castiel’s cock and swallows him down in one movement. Castiel makes a really loud moan with Dean’s name in it as he places his other hand on Dean’s hair as well.

It’s been years since Dean last did this, but as he takes Cas in his mouth, he quickly remembers the rhythm of it. He bobs his head and relaxes his jaw, letting Cas fill his mouth and getting his tongue around him. Cas tentatively rolls his hips, and Dean groans delighted around him, sucking him as deep as he can.

He looks at Cas, and their eyes met before he throws his head back on the pillow, overwhelmed by the way Dean keeps sinking his mouth down on him. He keeps making all kinds of noises that drive Dean crazy.

Cas comes in his mouth and Dean sucks him through it, not pulling away until he can feel that Cas is done with his release. When he looks at Cas, he looks blessed and sated, and Dean can’t help grinning.

He reaches for Castiel’s lips, and Castiel tugs him closer, kissing him in a breathtaking way that makes Dean dizzy in a really great way.

With his arms around Dean’s back, Castiel manages to roll the two of them, switching their positions. Dean looks at him with a questioning look.

“I want to do the same to you,” Castiel states.

“Fuck, yes,” Dean manages to say.

Castiel kisses his lips and then he goes straight for Dean’s cock. He wraps his lips around the head tentatively at first, but then he swallows Dean as deep as he can.

It is obvious that Cas has never done this before, but he is still good at it. He sucks Dean in with passion, hollowing his cheeks and relaxing his jaw as best as he can. Dean gets both of his hands on Cas’ hair and rolls his hips slightly, earning him a wonderful moan that he feels on his body.

Castiel keeps sucking him and Dean arches his back from the bed. He closes his eyes as Cas takes him even deeper, feeling his tongue around his shaft.

He comes with a loud cry, filling Cas’ mouth with his release. Cas swallows his come and keeps his mouth around him until Dean is done. Then, he pulls away with a wet sound and Dean lets out a happy and sated sound.

Castiel is soon back on top of Dean, kissing him sweetly, feeling the stickiness of his come on his swollen lips.

“This is better than waking up with coffee,” Castiel states with a smug.

Dean laughs and kisses him again. “Wanna take a shower with me?”

Castiel looks at him delighted. “Yes.”

***

As Dean makes some scrambled eggs with bell peppers, cheese and sausages, Castiel approaches him and gets his arms around Dean, pressing his chest against Dean’s back. He kisses Dean’s nape and then nuzzles his neck before resting his chin on Dean’s shoulder.

A wide grin appears on Dean’s face immediately.

“Hey,” Dean greets as he places his free hand on top of Castiel’s.

“Hello,” Castiel greets, kissing Dean’s cheek. It makes Dean blush. “You have a lovely blush.”

“Shut up,” Dean says, embarrassed.

Castiel chuckles and kisses Dean in the same spot one more time. Then, he looks at the pan. “It looks and smells great.”

“That’s ‘cause it isn’t burnt,” Dean teases as he turns his face to give Cas a smug smile.

Castiel groans. “You’re never going to let go of my burnt scrambled eggs, are you?”

“Nope.”

He manages to give Cas’ lips a quick peck before Castiel pulls away, looking irritated at Dean. He walks to the counter, to take a sip of his coffee, and Dean brings his focus back on their breakfast.

“Do you think we should summon Rowena after breakfast? Or is that too early for her?” Castiel wonders.

“She told Sam that we should contact her today; she didn’t specify time,” Dean answers, shrugging casually. He removes the pan from the stove and distributes the breakfast on two plates. “She’ll probably complain regardless of the time we do the spell.”

“Probably.”

Castiel brings the two mugs to the kitchen table alongside a bowl of fruit, while Dean brings the rest. They sit next to each other and begin having breakfast.

Dean loves that he and Cas are still the same. The only difference is that now they don’t have to hide their feelings for each other, allowing them to get as close as they want to and share kisses and do other amazing stuff. But the rest is still the same. It makes Dean wonder if they were already behaving like a couple but without all the awesome stuff that comes with being in a relationship. They probably were.

“What?” Castiel says when he notices that Dean is staring at him.

Dean simply smiles and kisses him, mostly tasting coffee on his lips. “Nothing, just wanted to kiss you.”

Castiel looks at him and blushes.

“Blush looks good on you, Cas.”

Castiel kicks his leg under the table, but he smiles.

***

“Add the crushed tooth,” Castiel instructs.

Dean adds the crushed tooth to the bowl and then places it onto the pentagram they drew with chalk on the table.

“Anything else?” Dean asks.

“Only the incantation and the fire,” Castiel answers.

“When you’re ready, Cas.”

Dean grabs a matchbox while Castiel begins chanting in Latin. When he says the final word, Dean lights up the match and drops it onto the bowl, where a small flame appears and quickly disappears.

“Hello, boys,” Rowena says, standing in front of them.

“Hello, Rowena,” Castiel says.

“Hey,” Dean greets, waving his hand.

“Let’s get to the matter, lads,” Rowena says with a grin. “Show me the relic.”

Before summoning her, they had to go to the Impala to gather everything, because after they started kissing, they forgot about all the stuff they brought with themselves.

Dean carefully grabs the relic, still wrapped in the cloth, and holds it out for Rowena to take it.

“Take a look,” Dean says.

“I can’t hold it,” Rowena says with some irritation.

“Why not?” Castiel asks, frowning.

“I’m only flesh in Hell. Outside, I’m simply a soul. I could possess someone, but why would I want to get rid of my perfect body?”

Dean rolls his eyes and uncovers the relic.

“Oh, dear,” Rowena says, clearly impressed. “Don’t tell me you two got rid of Mary Elizabeth Sullivan.”

“You knew her?” Dean asks, surprised that she knew who she was by just looking at the relic.

“Aye. She was really powerful. She was one of the few witches who showed me some respect, but she was too jealous.” She smirks at that, proud about the memories of being envied by her power. “Knowing her craft and seeing it now, I understand why you two are still trapped. That relic is one of the most powerful ones.”

“Do you know how we can destroy it?” Castiel asks.

“Yes. But you will need to destroy this one and the other in her house at the same time.”

“Yeah, Sam told us about that,” Dean says.

Rowena nods. “In order to destroy the relics, you will need to smash them with something made of iron, covered in holy water, salt and the blood of someone who’s been to Hell.”

“Those ingredients are really easy to find.” Dean was expecting something that only grew in one place or another human organ.

Rowena chuckles. “This may surprise you, but not everyone has gone to Hell, and those who have been, have never made it back.”

“She has a point,” Castiel says.

Dean makes a pout in agreement. “Any precautions we should take?”

“Keep the relic away from you in the night,” Rowena answers. “It might sense you and it might start trying to hurt you. I would recommend keeping it buried somewhere.” She makes a grimace at that. “You should also be careful when you destroy the relics. It is unknown what might happen, but don’t expect the relics to behave like common stones.”

“Awesome,” Dean mumbles.

“We will be cautious,” Castiel promises.

Rowena nods and looks at him with a bright smile. “I hope so.” Then, she squints her eyes and points at Castiel’s neck. “Castiel, is that a hickey?”

Dean turns his face to look at Cas, who tentatively touches his neck.

“I see Castiel isn’t the only one with a hickey,” Rowena says with a smirk, looking at Dean’s neck. Dean blushes and tries to hide the mark Castiel left him, but fails at it. “I’m so disappointed that Samuel didn’t tell me that you two finally got together!”

“He doesn’t know yet,” Dean says, blushing even more.

Rowena gapes at him. “What?”

“It happened last night,” Castiel supplies, who, unlike Dean, isn’t blushing at all.

Rowena brings her hand to her chest and looks quite moved. “Am I the first to know?”

“Yeah,” Dean mumbles.

“I’m so honored, boys.”

Dean rolls his eyes and scoffs.

“My boys,” Rowena keeps saying, sounding really happy. “It shouldn’t have taken you this long.”

“Shut up,” Dean protests, feeling his face glowing. Even Cas is now slightly blushing.

“I promise you that I will attend your wedding, even if I have to possess a body. Bye, boys.”

Before Dean and Castiel can say anything, Rowena disappears out of their sights. Dean clenches his jaw and looks at the relic, in a desperate attempt to make his flush go away.

“Do you think Sam and Eileen will be this intense when we tell them?” Castiel asks as he approaches Dean.

“They will be worse,” Dean answers, huffing.

Castiel frowns and touches Dean’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just that I— I wasn’t expecting her to be so accepting about it.”

“What do you mean?”

Dean gives him an obvious look. “Cas, I’ve grown up in a world where I was supposed to only like women. I had to hide that I liked men, too. It’s unexpected to see that people don’t mind if I like both men and women. It still catches me by surprise.”

Castiel cups his face and their eyes meet. “There is nothing wrong with liking both men and women, Dean.”

“Yeah, I know. But others don’t.”

“Fuck those,” Castiel deadpans.

Dean looks at him for a moment, feeling something warm in his chest, and then he grins. “Fuck, I love it when you curse.”

“I know.” He smiles and kisses Dean, sweetly.

When they pull away, Dean presses their foreheads together, needing a moment to ground himself. He steals a kiss from Cas’ lips and then pulls away. “We should bury this in one of those pots and then we should calls Sam and Eileen and tell them everything.”

“Are you sure?” Castiel asks, knowing that by everything, Dean means what they talked with Rowena and the fact that the two of them are together.

Dean smiles, glad that Cas is giving him a way out if he wants to take it. But Dean is sure that he wants to tell Sam about them. He doesn’t want any way out when it comes to Cas. Not anymore.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Dean affirms.

Castiel grins and he smiles.

***

Apparently, Sam and Eileen had a bet about when Dean and Cas would get together while they were trapped in Spokane.

“I can’t believe you two had a bet!” Dean protests.

“Dude, I’ve known you were gone for Cas for years,” Sam says, sounding too smug. Dean is tempted to punch the laptop screen, but he won’t do it. “Now that you two had to share a bed for several days, it was a matter of time.”

“But someone estimated the time wrong,” Eileen says with a grin.

“Only for a couple of days,” Sam retorts, giving her a proud smile. “I wasn’t that wrong.”

“You’re a bad loser.”

“I think we shouldn’t have told them,” Dean says, looking at Cas.

“I agree,” Castiel says, who sounds a little amused.

“Once you’re back here, we’re gonna celebrate it!” Sam says, extremely happy.

“For fuck’s sake,” Dean comments as he hides his face behind his hands.

A huge part of Dean is relieved that his bother and Eileen are okay with Dean being into men, too. He feared that one of them, or in the worst scenario the two of them, would not like it somehow, but he is so damn glad that he was wrong.

However, he hates how enthusiastic they are about he and Cas being a couple now. He likes that the two of them are supportive and that they are happy for them, but they are one step from buying matching t-shirts that proclaim how much they love that Dean and Cas are together.

“Do you know how frustrating was to see you two getting closer and not doing anything about it?” Sam complains. “Or how you looked at each other for minutes while you forgot I was there? Do you know all the drama in between you two that I had to deal with?”

“You’re the fucking worst, Sammy,” Dean grumbles.

“He’s just sore that he lost,” Eileen supplies.

“I’m not!”

“Is Claire on her way to the bunker?” Castiel asks, changing the subject.

“Yes,” Eileen answers. “She’ll probably be here in an hour or so. Once she has all the ingredients for the spells, she will head straight to you.”

“Do you guys need anything else?” Sam asks.

“No. We got everything, thanks,” Dean answers.

Sam nods. “Well, I guess we should leave you two alone so you can make up for all the lost time.”

Dean smirks and holds Cas’ hands so he doesn’t translate to Eileen, because he only wants to mess with Sam. “Yeah, we’re gonna suck each other’s cocks until we come so hard that we black out.”

“Dean!” Sam exclaims. “There’s no need to be so explicit.”

“What did he say?” Eileen asks, looking at Sam, clearly confused.

“You better not know,” Sam asks.

“Something about felatios,” Castiel says in ASL.

Eileen looks at Sam and gives her a funny look. “You got yourself into that.”

“I knew there was a reason I liked you so much, Eileen,” Dean says, making Eileen smile brightly.

***

They spend a big part of their afternoon making out in the couch. They keep kissing and touching each other all the time, not wanting to take things further, content with just doing that.

Neither of them can stop smiling. It feels so good to finally be allowed to do this, to be pressed together, kissing each other and letting their hands touch everywhere. Dean feels drunk with happiness.

They take their sweet time kissing, exploring each other’s mouths, getting to know what the other likes, allowing their hands to map each other’s bodies, so forbidden until last night. They keep moaning each other’s name, breathing the same air, sharing the same happiness.

They lose the sense of time and get lost on each other. Until Dean’s stomach starts to groan, protesting about being hungry.

“Sorry,” Dean says, pulling away from Cas’ lips for a couple of inches.

“We should probably eat supper,” Castiel says.

“Yeah, we should.”

But neither of them moves away. They grin at each other and keep kissing, not wanting to let go just yet. But Dean’s stomach complains again.

“Damn it,” Dean mutters.

Castiel chuckles. “Let’s make dinner before you starve.” He stands up and offers his hand to Dean.

“Yeah. Fine.” He takes Cas’ hand and stands up. But before they go to the kitchen, Dean kisses him again.

Castiel pulls away slightly, laughing. “Dean,” he says, sounding so happy. He tries tugging Dean’s hand, wanting to get to the kitchen, but it is useless.

“A few more,” Dean pleads with a grin before leaning to kiss Cas again for a couple of times. It doesn’t take too long for his stomach to grumble again. “Stop ruining the mood,” he complains, looking at his stomach.

Castiel smiles and shakes his head before he pulls the two of them towards the kitchen. “Remind me what we are making for supper.”

“Chicken fajitas,” Dean answers. “I was thinking about cooking some bell peppers, but since my stomach is only a few minutes away from eating itself, I’m just gonna add some lettuce, tomato, bacon and some slices of cheese.”

Castiel looks pleased with that recipe. “It sounds delicious.”

Dean grins. “You take care of the veggies, while I take care of the meat. But if you finish early, feel free to heat up the tortillas.” He flicks his eyes to Cas, who is about to make some sassy comment, but Dean speaks first. “If you burn any tortillas, you’re the one who’s gonna eat them, not me.”

“Fine,” Castiel mutters as he glares Dean. “You’re insufferable in the kitchen.”

“And you’re a disaster in the kitchen,” he replies with a playful smirk as he starts grabbing the ingredients. Castiel remains in the spot, giving Dean one of his deadliest glares. Dean looks at him with a wide grin, and notices Cas is trying so hard not to smile at all. Dean leaves the ingredients on the counter and approaches Cas. “You’re cute when you’re grumpy.” He pecks the skin in between Cas’ eyebrows and then his lips.

“You can be a real pain the ass sometimes, Dean,” Castiel says as a tiny smile starts to form in his lips.

“You’ve got no idea, Cas.” He kisses him deeply but softly, and all Cas’ grumpiness disappears in a moment. “Now I know that if I want you to stop being pissed at me, all I’ve gotta do is kiss you,” he says with a smug smile.

“Don’t test your luck, Dean.”

Dean laughs and he steals a quick kiss from Cas’ lips. “Okay, let’s get started. Want some music?”

“Sure.”

In an instant, Dean places his phone on the counter and he plays some music. The kitchen is soon filled with the sound of rock songs, and both Dean and Castiel start making dinner. Dean is soon shaking his hips as he dices the chicken. It doesn’t take him too long to start singing loudly and off key, and Castiel smiles widely when that happens.

When Cas walks to the fridge to place the tomatoes back inside, he presses a quick kiss on Dean’s nape, and Dean blushes quickly and intensely. Cas obviously notices, but doesn’t say a word, instead he simply smirks, and on his way back to the counter, he kisses the same spot again and his hand brushes the small of Dean’s back.

Dean looks at Cas, feeling grateful for finally being allowed to love Cas and for the fact that Cas loves him, too.

He still fears things, but it’s easy to put his worries and fears in the back of his mind for now.

***

Castiel takes off his clothes to put on his pajamas and Dean watches him.

Castiel notices Dean’s stare and he frowns. “What?”

“Do you know how hard is to look away when you do that?” Dean asks with a playful smirk.

Cas arches a brow. “Is that why you always looked so distressed when I took off my clothes?”

“I wouldn’t say distressed,” Dean protests as he takes off his shirt. Castiel gives him a sassy look. “Okay, yeah, but I was distressed because I was turned on. A lot. You have a habit of taking your clothes off or not having them on in the most inappropriate moments.”

Castiel squints his eyes in confusion. “Inappropriate moments?”

“Yeah,” Dean huffs, but Castiel keeps giving him a look of bewilderment. “Oh, c’mon, Cas! Don’t you remember the time you came out of the bathroom with only just a towel while I was here looking for my phone charger? You could’ve gotten dressed in the bathroom, like I did.”

“I could have also been naked,” Castiel deadpans. “It would have been interesting to see your reaction there.”

Dean shoves him away playfully. “Asshole.”

Castiel chuckles.

“And what about the time you came after running and took off your shirt and then you got so freaking close to me so could get some oil stain off my cheek?” Dean asks. “I’m surprised I didn’t get a boner right there.”

“I didn’t think I had that effect on you,” Castiel confesses.

“Really? You never noticed that I went speechless or that I blushed or that I kept looking at your lips?”

Castiel shrugs and starts walking to the bed. “You’ve been doing that for quite a long time, Dean. I thought it was normal for you.”

Dean blinks at him, perplexed, as he follows him. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“I’m not,” Castiel assures. “May I remind you that you always point out that I don’t usually get most of your human social norms?”

“Cas, I was freaking obvious lots of times,” Dean insists as he gets in bed, lying on his side so he and Cas can face each other as they talk.

“I was quite obvious as well and you didn’t notice either.”

Dean worries his lower lip and reaches for Cas’ hand. “I sometimes thought that there was something there, but I didn’t want to get any hopes, just in case I was only seeing what I wanted to see.”

Castiel brings their joined hands to his lips and kisses the back of Dean’s palm. “There was always something there, Dean.”

“Yeah, I know that now.”

Castiel smiles and he kisses him sweetly, making Dean sigh happily.

When they pull away, Dean says, “Turn off the lights.”

Castiel does as he is told, rolling onto his back to do so. Before he can go back to lying on his side, Dean is pressing himself against Cas’ side and tangling their legs together as well as resting his cheek on Cas’ chest, feeling the beating of his heart.

The former angel chuckles and gets his arms around Dean, holding him tight.

“Goodnight, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

With a smile of their lips, they both easily fall asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close to the end. Thank you so much for reading and for all the amazing messages you leave. And thanks for the kudos, the booksmarks and the subscriptions :)

Nightmares of Hell have always been terrible. But there are nightmares worse than those; the nightmares where Dean relives the time he almost killed Cas in the bunker and the nightmares that bring back all the times Dean saw Cas die. Tonight, he dreams about the former.

It starts with the moment Dean began attacking Cas, but this time, the fight seems to last a little bit longer, and then, Cas ends up on the floor, with Dean on top of him, holding the angel blade. Cas’ face is swollen and covered in blood, and the only thing he is able to say is Dean’s name, using it to implore for his life. One of his hands grips Dean’s arm weakly, hoping that the single touch would make Dean stop.

The mark is vicious in Dean’s arm, burning his skin, making him feel the darkness of it, fueling the darkness and poison inside Dean.

Dean looks at Cas without mercy or any sympathy and he lowers the angel blade in a swift movement, aiming for the chest. Cas’ grace explodes, blinding Dean with his light.

“NO!” Dean screams as he wakes up, ready to find Cas dead.

He is so disoriented and so hurt that he doesn’t hear Cas calling his name until Cas cups his face and looks at him.

“Dean!” Castiel says as he strokes his cheek.

“Cas?” Dean asks, slowly coming to himself.

He notices that Cas switched on the lights and that the two of them are sitting on the bed. He also feels that he is drenched in sweat and that his clothes are stuck to his skin. His heart is beating so fast that it aches, and he can hear its painful beating in his ears.

“Dean,” Castiel says, with softness and care.

The way he says Dean’s name makes him start crying desperately as he remembers the nightmare and how he killed Cas.

“Dean, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Castiel says as he gets his arms around Dean, pressing him against his chest. “It was only a nightmare. It was only a nightmare.”

But it wasn’t only a nightmare. It was a memory that got twisted with what almost happened. He hurt Cas that night, he almost killed him. And Dean can’t forget that.

He keeps crying into Cas’ shoulder, shaking badly and Cas holds him tighter as he keeps telling him comforting things to make him feel better.

When Dean stops crying is because his eyes seems to be running out of tears, but he is still sobbing. Castiel kisses the top of his head and Dean sobs harder. He doesn’t deserve this, not after what he did. He pulls away, unable to look at Cas, but Cas cups his face and tilts his head so their eyes can meet. There is so much love and worry in those beautiful blue eyes and Dean doesn’t deserve it.

“Dean,” Castiel starts.

“I need a shower,” Dean interrupts before pulling away and running towards the bathroom, leaving Cas behind.

He closes the door and rests his forehead against the wooden surface, trying to calm himself, but it is useless. He rubs his face, wiping the trail of tears, and then he takes a deep breath. With shaky legs, he approaches the shower and starts it. As he waits for the water to warm up, he takes off his sweaty clothes, realizing that he didn’t bring any clean clothes, but he supposes it doesn’t matter; he can get dressed up later in the bedroom.

Dean steps into the shower, placing his head right under the shower head, letting the warm water run down his body. He presses his forehead against the cold tiles and he keeps sobbing, trying to be as quiet as possible, hoping that the sound of the shower can muffle it.

Suddenly, Cas gets his arms around Dean’s waist, holding him tightly. Dean startles at first, but then Cas is pressing his chest against his freckled back and kissing his nape and shoulders, and Dean relaxes, even though he starts crying harder.

“I’ve got you, Dean,” Castiel says in between kisses.

Dean continues crying, unable to stop. Cas is there, caring for him, holding him, giving him love with little kisses, caring so much about him, worrying about him, not letting him go through this alone. Dean feels like he is falling apart and Cas is there to put him back together. He really doesn’t deserve Cas.

Eventually, he stops crying, but he is breathing shakily. One of his trembling hands comes to rest on top of Cas’ hand and they lace their fingers.

Castiel kisses his shoulder and then rests his chin there, trying to take a look at Dean.

“Do you want me to wash you?” Castiel asks.

Dean nods, unable to say a single word.

“Okay,” Castiel says.

He pulls away and he grabs their shower gel. He pours a considerate amount on his hands instead of on a sponge, and he begins to wash Dean’s body. He starts with his back and arms, and then he goes to his bottom and his legs. He takes his time and he does it tenderly, taking care of Dean like nobody has ever done.

“Could you turn around, Dean?” Castiel asks when he is done.

Dean turns around and finally faces Cas. There is a softness in his face, but there is also too much worry. Still, the fallen angel smiles before he washes Dean, with the same tenderness as before, going from his chest to his feet.

By the time he is done, he cups Dean’s face. Dean leans into the touch and lets out a trembling sigh. Dean gets his hands on Cas’ hips and then they press their foreheads together. They don’t say a single word to each other at all, and Dean is thankful for that. Being like this with Cas is what he truly needs, even if deep down he knows he doesn’t deserve this.

After a while, Dean removes the tiny distance in between them and kisses Cas, hoping that the kiss can say all the words he can’t utter. And when they pull away, Dean keeps his eyes closed, feeling Cas pressed against him and how the warm water keeps falling onto them.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean manages to say.

“Of course, Dean,” Castiel says and then, he kisses Dean with so much love. “Do you want to remain here for a while or do you wish to go back to the bedroom?”

“Bedroom.”

Castiel nods and closes the tap. He holds Dean’s hand and guides him out of the shower. He grabs two towels and he dries Dean first and then himself. After that, Castiel grabs Dean’s hand and the two of them walk towards the bed, where Dean finds his other pajama and his boxers.

“Do you need help to get dressed?” Castiel asks.

Dean shakes his head.

“Okay,” Castiel says. He gives Dean a quick peck and then walks towards the wardrobe to get some of his clothes.

Dean gets dressed and then gets in bed, rolling onto his left side as Cas walk back to join him.

“Can you spoon me?” Dean asks as Cas switches off the lights.

“Of course,” Castiel answers as he presses his chest against Dean’s back. He gets his arms around Dean, resting his hand on Dean’s stomach. Dean’s hands quickly come to rest on top of Cas’. “You didn’t need to ask for this, I was going to do it anyway,” Castiel confesses before pressing a kiss on Dean’s nape.

Dean lets out a soft chuckle.

Cas doesn’t say anything else and tightens his grip on Dean as he nuzzles the skin on Dean’s nape.

Dean is sure that Cas wants to know about what he dreamt, but the ex-angel doesn’t push him or press the topic. Still, Dean wants to tell him.

“I dreamt about the night I almost killed you,” Dean confesses into a murmur, feeling how his voice breaks and his eyes get wet. “But I dreamt that I actually killed you.”

Castiel kisses his shoulder. “It was only a nightmare, Dean. I’m alive.”

Dean lets out a wail. “But I almost killed you that night, I— I was so close. And I didn’t care at that moment, I—”

“The Mark made you do that. You weren’t yourself that night, Dean. I knew that when I saw you.”

“Then, why didn’t you run?”

“Because I believed that I could save you. That I could make you come back to me.”

Dean lets out a shaky breath. “I’m so fucking sorry, Cas.”

“It’s in the past. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Dean huffs, bitterly. Then, the tears finally fall down from his eyes. “I’m poison, Cas.”

“You aren’t poison, Dean,” Castiel says, so sure of himself.

“I don’t deserve—”

“Don’t you dare complete that sentence, Dean,” Castiel interrupts, sounding more hurt than frustrated. “Because you do deserve good things. More than anyone I have ever known.”

“I’ve done some fucked up shit, Cas.”

“So have I,” Castiel replies. Dean is about to say something but he keeps talking. “Do you remember when Naomi asked me to kill you but in the end I was unable to do so?”

“Yeah, I do.”

Castiel takes a deep breath and Dean feels him tensing behind him. “She made me kill hundreds of copies of you before that. She trained me to be able to kill you.” His voice sounds shaky and Dean knows he is about to start crying. “I still have nightmares about that.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry, Cas,” Dean says. He gives Cas’ hand a soft and encouraging squeeze.

“See? You aren’t the only one who has done fucked up shit,” Castiel replies with a trembling voice.

Dean starts caressing Cas’ hands with his thumbs as he feels some moisture on Cas’ cheeks.

“Do you feel different about me now that I have confessed you that?” Castiel asks.

“No, of course not,” Dean says, turning his face slightly to look at Cas. “You’re still you.”

“And you’re still you, despite the mistakes we both made in the past,” Castiel assures with a half-smile.

“I still have a lot of luggage with me, Cas,” Dean says. “I carry a lot of shit, really bad shit. I don’t want you to take that burden. It’s not fair.”

“But you do take my burden without any hesitation. It isn’t fair for you to take mine but not share yours with me.”

Dean opens his mouth to say something, but he is loss at words; Cas has a point.

“We can share each other’s burdens,” Castiel says. “It might be challenging at first, but I believe it will be easier than defeating God.”

Dean snorts. “I’m not so sure about that. Relationships are way harder and scarier than that. At least for me.” He takes a deep breath and keeps stroking Cas’ hand.

“I’m not going anywhere, Dean,” Castiel assures, tightening his embrace. “There is no place I would rather be than at your side.”

“You are a freaking sap, Cas,” Dean chuckles as he feels a few more tears fall down. He might be trying to ease the moment with some lazy joke, but in truth, he feels so relieved to hear those words.

Castiel kisses Dean’s nape and Dean can feel Cas’ sweet smile on his skin. “I mean it, Dean. I will be by your side for as long as you will have me, because I’m yours and I love you. I love everything about you. I love the bright and the dark parts that make you. Every single thing about you.”

Dean can’t help letting out a sob at those words. Because Cas is letting him know that he knows about his flaws, and still, he loves him.

“Except your love for waking up before ten A.M.,” Castiel adds.

It makes Dean laugh hysterically, and he hears Cas chuckling. Dean rolls onto his side until he and Cas are facing each other and he kisses him, saying into that kiss every single thing that he wants to say. More tears spill down Dean’s eyes and from Castiel’s as well. They might come with more scars than the rest of people, but neither of them minds that. They have been through Hell, both literally and figuratively, and they still made it. Being together in a relationship and sharing their burdens won’t be that hard.

“I love so fucking much, Cas,” Dean says. “Both the good and the bad stuff.”

Castiel smiles shakily and kisses Dean.

***

When Dean wakes up, Cas is still spooning him. He can’t help but smile at that..

He hears the soft rain outside, its drops hitting the cabin weakly, and Dean snuggles closer to Cas.

“Go back to sleep, Dean,” Castiel mumbles.

“Okay,” Dean says, closing his eyes and smiling. He grabs Cas’ hand and kisses his knuckles.

Castiel kisses his nape and holds him tighter before both of them drift off again.

It isn’t until an hour later that Dean opens his eyes again. He sighs happily as he feels that Cas is still holding him tight and pressed against him.

He begins caressing Cas’ hand and Castiel nuzzles the back of his neck.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Dean mumbles.

“Good morning, Dean,” Castiel says, sounding more awake than usual. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah,” Dean answers. He rolls until he and Cas are face to face and he kisses him, taking his time.

Castiel groans delighted and gets his arms around Dean’s shoulders, pulling him closer.

When they pull away, they look at each other with matching smiles. Dean’s thumbs caress Cas’ cheekbones for a while before he leans into another kiss, Cas meeting him in the middle. He recalls all those times he woke up in his bed, feeling cold and alone, wishing for Cas to be there. He can’t believe he now gets to wake up next to Cas.

“Hey,” Dean says when they pull away. “Thanks for— well, for last night.”

Castiel gives him a soft look. “Of course, Dean.”

Then, he leans a kisses him briefly.

Dean is left with a wide smile on his lips.

“Shower first and then breakfast?” Dean asks with a cocky grin.

“Yes,” Castiel says before kissing Dean again.

***

While Cas stares at the coffee maker, waiting for their coffee to be done, Dean gathers some ingredients to make some waffles. It is a shame they don’t have some ice cream, because Dean wouldn’t mind getting a scoop on top of his waffles, even if today feels really cold. As he thinks about that, his mind recalls something; he didn’t take his sweet revenge from that time Cas pressed his freezing feet against Dean’s.

Dean is pretty sure Cas must have forgotten about it, and Dean can’t help grinning as he comes with an idea.

He walks back to the fridge, taking a quick look at Cas, whose eyes are fixed on the coffee maker, almost glaring it for making him wait for his dose of caffeine. Dean opens the freezer and grabs an ice cube, feeling the sharp coldness of it. Then, he quickly walks towards Cas and presses a kiss on his cheek before he slips the ice cube under Cas’ t-shirt.

“Dean!” Castiel yells angrily as he feels the freezing ice cube slide down his back.

Dean laughs. “Told you I was gonna get my revenge from when you pressed your freezing feet against mine.”

Castiel glares him as he gets the small ice cube away from his back. With the cube in his hand, Castiel walks towards Dean, who starts to walk back.

“Don’t you dare,” Dean says.

Castiel smirks and he grabs the collar of Dean’s shirt and slips the ice cube inside, making Dean feel its iciness against his chest. It makes Castiel chuckle as he steps away, but Dean grabs his wrist, keeping him in place. Castiel tries to pull away, but Dean brings him closer as he manages to recover the last of the ice cube.

“Dean, no,” Castiel says.

But Dean simply grins and manages to get the last of the ice cube back inside Cas’ t-shirt. The former angel arches his back as he makes a funny face. Dean can’t help laughing.

“You’re insufferable,” Castiel mutters.

“You thought I was gonna forget to get my payback?” Dean asks, smiling smugly. “We’re even now.” He leans and pecks Cas’ lips and then his nose and forehead, but Castiel keeps glaring him. “I’m gonna keep kissing you until you stop glaring me.”

“It’s not going to work.”

“Really?” Dean asks teasingly as he kisses Cas’ cheeks. “I’m quite irresistible.”

Before Castiel can sass him, Dean kisses his lips, darting his tongue, testing the waters. Castiel groans and he opens his mouth to welcome Dean in. He gets his arms around Dean’s neck and presses the two of them closer.

“Not a word, Dean,” Castiel warns when they pull away.

“I wasn’t gonna—” Dean starts with fake innocence, but Castiel hushes him with a heated kiss. Dean is quickly moaning as Cas gets his tongue inside Dean’s mouth. When they pull away, Dean looks at Cas’ smug face. “If you’re gonna kiss me like that every time I tease you, I’m gonna tease you all the time.”

Castiel snorts and rolls his eyes before going back to the coffee maker. “You should start making those waffles, Dean. Coffee is ready.”

Dean snorts. “Okay, sweetheart.”

Castiel looks at him and frowns. “Sweetheart?”

Dean blushes. How did the pet name slip so easily? He looks at Cas with his mouth open, not knowing what to say exactly. Cas patiently waits for him to utter something.

“It’s a pet name,” Dean manages to say weakly. “I can stop using it if you don’t want me to—”

“It’s fine,” Castiel assures with a soft smile. And Dean is almost one hundred percent sure that there is a hint of a blush on his face. “I like it.”

Dean blinks, both perplexed and content. “You sure?”

“I’m sure, beloved.”

Dean thought he couldn’t blush even more, but he was wrong. He manages to smile shyly before focusing his eyes on the counter and the ingredients for the waffles.

With two mugs on his hands, Castiel walks towards Dean and he kisses his cheek before offering him one of the mugs.

“I take it that you aren’t opposed to me calling you ‘beloved’,” Castiel says.

“No, not at all,” Dean says. He has never been called that in his life, and it feels wonderful coming from Cas’ lips.

Castiel smiles and kisses Dean’s lips before he takes a sip of his coffee.

***

“You should be thankful that in the end you decided not to burn the witch’s house,” Castiel says.

“Why’s that?” Dean asks, looking away from the laptop. The two of them are spending their afternoon reading all the information that Sam and Eileen sent them about the spells in the witch’s house as well as the counter spells they will use to get rid of those.

“The house would have set you in fire in order to keep the house intact.”

Dean stares at Cas blankly for a few moments. “I hate this fucking witch.”

Castiel chuckles.

“Is there anything about any precautions we should take?” Dean asks, resting his chin on Cas’ shoulder.

“No,” Castiel answers. “The counter spells are easy to make. The difficulty lies in obtaining some of the ingredients. I believe the witch thought nobody would be able to gather any of the rarest ingredients. What worries me is what may happen when we destroy the relics.”

“Yeah, we’re in the dark there.”

Cas’ phone beeps, announcing a text message. The ex-angel grabs his phone and opens the text, allowing Dean to see its content. It is Claire, announcing them that she stopped to get some rest and that she is only four hours away from them.

“We’re gonna probably have to meet her in the road again,” Dean says before Cas puts his phone away.

“I believe so,” Castiel agrees.

Dean nods and moves his chin away so he can stretch. His muscles feel stiff from sitting for a long time. “Well, if things go right, we’ll go tomorrow’s night to the witch’s house and be done with all this shit.”

“Unless we find another complication.”

Dean groans. “Sweetheart, do you always have to be so negative?”

“It’s called being realistic, beloved.”

Dean can’t help blushing at the last word. It’s going to take him time to get used to Cas referring to him in such a lovely way.

“This witch has been a challenge so far,” Castiel continues. “She hasn’t made things easy for us, so I wouldn’t be surprised if we ran into another complication.”

“Okay, well, you’ve got a point. But I hope you’re wrong.”

Castiel sighs, tired and frustrated. “I hope that, too, Dean.”

***

“It’s weird to think that this is probably gonna be one of our last nights here,” Dean says as Cas gets in bed with him. “I’ve gotta admit that I kind of got used to being here.”

Cas squints his eyes and frowns as he snuggles against Dean’s side. “I thought you wanted to get out of here as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, I did.” He gets his arms around Cas, pulling him closer and rests his cheek on Cas’ messy hair. “I still wanna go home, but it’s actually nice here, you know? I guess it has to do with all the natural light and being able to hear the sounds of nature.”

“Probably,” Castiel hums. “It is going to be strange to wake up in the bunker and see no natural light nor hear anything from outside.”

“Speaking of that,” Dean says, clearing his throat. Castiel flicks his eyes to Dean, noticing the jitteriness in his voice. “Do you wanna move in to my bedroom? It has a bigger bed, and there’s plenty of space for our stuff. If you want to. I mean, it’s okay if you don’t wanna move in with me just yet, but I thought that maybe you’d want to—”

But Dean is unable to finish his sentence because Cas kisses him in a breathtaking way.

When he pulls away, Dean looks stunned.

“That was a yes,” Castiel supplies. “In case I didn’t make myself clear.”

Dean blinks a couple of times, perplexed, until his brain processes that Cas wants to move in to his bedroom, well, their bedroom from now on. Dean grins and kisses Cas.

“Awesome,” Dean says when he pulls away.

Castiel grins and nuzzles Dean’s neck while Dean tightens his hold on Cas.

“Alright, well, I guess that we’ll start moving your stuff to our bedroom as soon as we are home,” Dean announces, feeling so happy.

“Sounds good,” Castiel says before kissing Dean’s neck.

Dean grins. “Yeah, it does.”

He kisses Cas’ hair and then switches off the lights. 

“Goodnight, Dean.”

“Goodnight, Cas.”

Dean falls asleep easily, feeling extremely happy.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so damn much for reading and for every single message you leave :') Also, thank you for the kudos, the bookmarks and the subscriptions!

Cas is sleeping soundly when Dean wakes up. The hunter presses a kiss on Cas’ crown and holds Cas a little bit tighter, loving the feeling of waking up with Cas in his arms. He knows he is never going to get tired of waking up like this.

It is still early, and he knows that Cas won’t be awake for an hour or so, so Dean decides to close his eyes and remain in bed, feeling Cas’ soft breathing brushing his neck.

Eventually, Cas wakes up, but he doesn’t open his eyes. Instead, he buries his face in the crook of Dean’s neck, refusing to acknowledge the fact that he is awake.

“Morning, Cas,” Dean says with a teasing grin.

Castiel grunts and places his hand on top of Dean’s lips, urging him to hush. It makes Dean laugh.

“We should get up,” Dean says after kissing Cas’ palm. “We’ve got a big day ahead, you know? We’ve gotta meet Claire and get all the ingredients for the spells, and we’ve gotta go to the witch’s house and do all those spells and destroy the relics.”

“That only reinforces my point of staying in bed,” Castiel replies with a voice that’s deeper than usual. “We need to be rested for all the hard work we’re going to do today.”

Dean can’t help but laugh again, which makes Cas smile widely, an unusual sight in the morning. “You lazy ass,” Dean murmurs before kissing Cas, who hums delighted.

When they pull away, Cas finally opens his eyes, revealing those beautiful blue eyes of his.

“Hey,” Dean murmurs as he grins.

“Hello,” Castiel murmurs back, smiling softly as his fingers brush Dean’s hair.

Dean places his hand on Cas’ jaw, stoking the sharp line of it, feeling on his skin Cas’ stubble. His eyes follow the motion for a moment and then he flickers his eyes back to Cas’, noticing that the fallen angel is focused on staring at his cheeks.

“What?” Dean asks, slightly confused.

Castiel’s fingers travel across Dean’s cheeks, brushing the skin in a light and almost ticklish way. “You have entire constellations on your skin.”

Dean frowns for a moment until he registers what Cas means, and when he does, he immediately blushes. “Are you comparing my freckles to stars?”

“I am,” Castiel assures.

Dean huffs. “You’re a sap, Cas.”

Castiel shrugs casually. “Perhaps.”

Before Dean can come up with something to say, Cas starts kissing him again, taking his time, making Dean sigh and moan. When Cas pulls away to take a small breath, Dean chases him so they can keep kissing for a little bit more.

“Shall we take a shower?” Castiel asks after a while.

Dean arches his brow. “I thought you wanted to linger in bed.”

“I’m not opposed to that,” Castiel says with a playful smile before he kisses Dean again. “But given that I’m quite awake now, maybe we can move this event to the shower.”

Dean smirks. “So you wanna make out in the shower, right?”

“That’s correct.”

Dean huffs and kisses Cas. “Awesome.”

***

After having breakfast and washing the dishes, Cas goes to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Dean checks his phone for any messages, but he doesn’t have any.

When Cas finishes in the bathroom, Dean goes in to relieve himself and brush his teeth. When he is done, he expects to find Cas in the living room or in the kitchen, but instead, the former angel is on the porch, standing on top of the stairs.

Dean approaches him and gets his arms around Cas as he presses his chest against his back. Castiel smiles and gets his hands on top of Dean’s, leaning into the touch as Dean kisses his neck.

“What’re you doing here?” Dean asks.

“I’m just enjoying the view and taking some fresh air,” Castiel answers.

Dean gives him a worried look. “You okay?”

Castiel nods. “I was thinking about going for a run, but given that Claire must be about to arrive, I don’t think I have the time for that. Standing here was the best alternative.”

Dean snorts. “I’ll never understand your passion for running.”

“And I’ll never understand your passion for westerns.”

“How dare you!” Dean complains as he glares Cas, who is smiling smugly.

Before Castiel can form any type of remark, Dean’s phone rings. Dean pulls away from Cas and grabs his phone and answers Claire’s call.

“Let me guess,” Dean says once he has put the call on speaker. “The shield doesn’t let you get in.”

“Yeah,” Claire says, sounding annoyed.

“Where are you?” Castiel asks.

“Same place as the last time.”

“Okay, we’ll meet you there in a few minutes,” Dean assures. “Just park there and wait for us.”

“Sure,” she says before hanging up.

Dean puts his phone back in his pocket and he and Cas walk inside the cabin to grab their coats. Dean also grabs the Impala’s keys while Cas gets the cabin’s keys. Then, after closing the cabin, they both walk to the Impala and get in it.

“Are we going to go the witch’s house at night or sooner?” Castiel asks as Dean starts the Impala.

“Night,” Dean scoffs. “Don’t wanna risk anyone seeing us doing all kinds of spells.”

Castiel hums. “I agree. But those spells are going to take us some time. We shouldn’t go too late.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Castiel watches him for a while. “Are you alright, Dean?”

“I’m kind of nervous,” Dean confesses. “I’ve got a feeling that we’re gonna find something unexpected in that house. I’m worried about any of us getting hurt.”

What actually worries Dean is Cas getting hurt in that house. Since they started this hunt, they both have been wounded constantly. They even had to go to the hospital twice, a place they only go when things go really bad.

Dean doesn’t want Cas back in the hospital.

“Dean,” Castiel says as he reaches for Dean’s hand, giving it a soft squeeze. “We will be alright.”

Dean huffs. “I can’t believe you’re being positive about this hunt for once.”

Castiel simply smiles and gives Dean’s hand another comforting squeeze.

A few minutes later, they see Claire and Kaia sitting on the hood of Claire’s car, talking to each other as they wait. When they see Dean parking the car, they both stop talking and slide down from the hood until their feet touch the ground.

“Hello, Kaia,” Castiel says.

“Hi,” Kaia says.

Dean greets her as well and then says, “Claire dragged you into this?”

“Kind of,” she admits with a smile.

“I didn’t drag you,” Claire huffs as she smiles. “You insisted on coming with me to keep me company.”

“Yeah, but you also kept complaining about all the stuff you had to bring.”

Claire makes an agreeable face. “True.”

“You can’t either come through the shield?” Castiel asks, looking at Kaia.

“Nope,” Kaia answers.

“I told you it was weird,” Claire supplies. “How many spells are you gonna need to do to get rid of this thing? Because Sam and Eileen gave us two big boxes.”

“Almost ten,” Dean answers with a grimace.

Both Claire and Kaia look at him in disbelief.

“She was a powerful witch,” Castiel adds, trying to make the situation more believable, but both girls keep looking at them in the same puzzled way.

“You guys have a way of running into some complicated shit,” Claire says before she and Kaia walk to the trunk.

“Story of our lives,” Dean says with a chuckle.

After each of the girls grabs one box, they walk back towards Dean and Cas. They deposit the boxes on the tarmac and with a push, they slide them towards Dean and Castiel, who pick up the boxes.

“How is it that the shield doesn’t block the boxes?” Kaia asks in confusion.

“We’re not really sure,” Dean answers. “But as long as we can still get boxes like this, we aren’t gonna question anything.”

Both Claire and Kaia chuckle at that.

“Thank you for bringing us these,” Castiel say with an appreciative smile.

“No problem,” Claire and Kaia say at the same time.

“Hopefully this will be the last time you need to do this trip,” Dean says with a grin.

“That’ll better be true,” Claire sasses.

Dean glares her while Castiel chuckles.

“We will let you know if the spells have worked or not,” Castiel says. “Have a safe journey back.”

“Thanks,” Kaia says while Claire nods.

As the girls walk back to their car to go back to Sioux Falls, Dean and Castiel place the boxes in the Impala’s trunk.

***

They decide to eat supper an hour earlier than usual. Dean makes some burritos, using most of the leftovers in the fridge. Neither of them knows if they are going to have to remain in Spokane for a few more days, but they can always go back to the supermarket if that’s the case. If not, they should use some of the remaining groceries that are still in the fridge.

By the time they finish eating, it is already night. They wash the dishes, go to the bathroom to brush their teeth and then make sure to pick up every single item they need for each spell. Thankfully, Sam and Eileen labelled everything, letting them know the name of each ingredient and the spell they are part of.

The only ingredients that aren’t there are the ones they always carry in the Impala and Dean’s blood.

“Are we forgetting something?” Dean asks as he looks at the trunk.

“No,” Castiel answers. “I have already checked the list of ingredients twice and made sure that we didn’t forget anything.”

“Good.”

“Did you get the relic?”

“Yeah, it’s here.” Dean shows Cas a box covered with different sigils. He opens it, revealing a cloth that is covering the relic.

“Okay,” Castiel says as he watches Dean close the box.

Dean nods.

“I also grabbed the first kit aid,” Castiel adds. “Just in case.”

Dean smiles at that. “Hopefully we won’t need it. But I guess that’s being delusional.”

“I believe so.”

Dean chuckles and closes the trunk. He looks at Cas briefly before he grabs the lapel of his trench coat and pulls him into a passionate kiss.

When Dean pulls away, Cas has an arched brow and a tiny smile drawn on his lips, looking both confused and happily stunned.

“That’s uh— that’s for good luck,” Dean supplies lamely.

“I believe we need a lot of good luck, Dean,” Castiel deadpans.

“Yeah, I know that. Stop being so negative, Cas.”

Castiel frowns and gives him an irritated look. “I was implying that we should kiss again, Dean.”

“Oh!” Dean exclaims, feeling a bit embarrassed. “You sounded so serious that I thought you meant something else.”

Castiel rolls his eyes in exasperation. “I was trying to give you a hint.”

“I didn’t think you were capable of that,” Dean teases with a smirk. “You’re fucking terrible at those, sweetheart.”

“Dean,” Castiel mutters.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m insufferable.”

Without wasting any other second, they kiss again, with the same passion as before, but there is a hint of desperation in the kiss, something that says that they are worried about what is waiting ahead of them.

When they pull away, they press their foreheads together and look at each other’s eyes, speaking the words they aren’t letting out. Now that they don’t have to hide their feelings for each other, it is easy to understand the words they speak with their eyes and faces.

“We should go,” Dean says, moving away, but not letting go of Cas’ sleeve.

“Yes,” Castiel agrees, nodding.

They step away from each other and walk towards each side of the Impala, getting in the car.

Dean takes a deep breath before he starts the car. Then, as he drives the Impala away from the cabin, he reaches for Cas’ hand and they intertwine their fingers.

They drive in silence. They don’t even play any music. But they keep holding hands all the time, until Dean parks the Impala in front of the witch’s house.

“Here we are,” Dean whispers. Then, he looks at Cas. “You ready?”

“Yes,” Castiel answers. “Are you?”

“Yeah.”

Castiel nods and then he leans so he can share a kiss with Dean.

Then, they get out of the Impala and walk towards the trunk, gathering some of the many items they need to all the spells. When their hands are full, they carry some of them to the front door of the house and deposit them on the stairs. The two of them have to take another trip back to the Impala to gather the rest.

“Which one should we do first?” Dean asks as he looks at all the ingredients.

Castiel contemplates all the items for a moment. “I think it would be better if we started with the less complicated spells.”

“Yeah, good idea.”

Together, they mix all the ingredients for the first spell. Then, Castiel recites the incantation in Latin. When he says the last word, a purple symbol appears on the door and it burns away.

“That was easy,” Dean says, sounding skeptical.

“Were you expecting something more grandeur?” Castiel inquires with a frown.

“Well, yeah,” Dean answers, making an obvious grimace. “This witch likes her spells to do all kinds of dangerous stuff when they go away, like making big flames appear out of nowhere or throw people away. This was so… So regular.”

Castiel stares at him. “I don’t understand why you are so disappointed by this turn of the events.”

“I’m not disappointed, I’m just confused. This witch has never made things easy for us! I don’t trust that any of her spells will go without some chaos.”

“She might have believed that no one would be able to gather all the ingredients needed for these spells,” Castiel begins to say. “However, I shall remind you that this was the easiest spell. We might find some trouble with the following ones.”

Dean grimaces. “Okay. What do we need for the next one?”

Once again, they mix together the ingredients needed for the second spell. As it happened with the previous one, nothing much happens; there is only a purple light that appears for a few seconds before it goes away. Still, Dean feels unease with it. This is turning to be quite easy and uneventful and he doesn’t trust it.

“This next spell is the last easy one,” Castiel announces as he drops some myrrh into the bowl. “After this one, we might encounter some difficulties.”

“How do you know that?” Dean asks as he looks for the dried petals of ghost orchids.

“This is the last one that doesn’t require us to draw a symbol with the mixture,” Castiel explains after Dean has handed him the petals. “Most of the times we had to paint a symbol or had to destroy one, we encountered some type of attack.”

“But these few spells we’ve done just consists on saying an incantation, that’s why they’re easier and nothing bad has happened yet.”

“Exactly. These first protection spells we are breaking aren’t as powerful as the other ones we still have to break.”

Dean simply hums in agreement.

It doesn’t take them a long time to blend all the ingredients and Cas is soon reciting the magic words. What happens after Cas says the incantation is that this time, purple lights appears from every window in the house.

They begin to mix the ingredients for the next spell, but this time, they are going to have to paint a symbol on the door, which means trouble.

“What do you think is gonna happen?” Dean asks after he has painted a Celtic symbol on the door.

“I don’t know,” Castiel answers. “But we should step away, just in case.”

“Yeah. Good idea.”

They take a few steps back, separating themselves from the main door, situating themselves on the left side of the house. Cas says something in Celtic, and as soon as the last word has left his mouth, all the windows of the house shatter into thousands of tiny pieces that fly in every direction.

Both Dean and Castiel move at the same time, protecting each other from the flying glasses, but part of their hands and their faces get cut. Thankfully, the cuts only sting slightly and nothing more.

When they both turn away, both expect to find the windows broken, but they see that none of them are broken. However, the floor is covered with thousands of tiny pieces of glass.

“What the fuck?” Dean asks, looking at the glasses on the floor and then at the intact windows.

“I believe this is the grandeur you were looking for,” Castiel deadpans.

“I wasn’t looking for—” Dean grunts and looks at Cas, who is looking at him with a cocky stare. “Shut up, Cas. Let’s go for the next spell.”

They walk back to where their ingredients are. Carefully, they remove some of the tiny pieces of glass that have fallen and then they proceed to mix all the ingredients. Just like before, Dean draws the symbol, which this time is a runic one.

“This time maybe we should get a little bit further,” Dean suggests, staring at some of the tiny cuts on Cas’ cheek.

“We can’t go really far, though,” Castiel says as he stands up. “We still need to be relatively close to say the incantation.”

Dean grunts but nods. They walk back to the same spot they were before and Castiel reads the incantation. This time, fire comes out from the windows and the main door. Instinctively, Dean and Castiel take a few steps back, even if they are away from the flames. The fire is soon gone, and the house is still intact.

“She really liked fire,” Dean mumbles.

“Come on,” Castiel says, pulling at Dean’s hand. “We still have two more spells.”

They repeat the things they have been doing; mixing the ingredients, painting the symbol, stepping away and reciting the incantation. But this time, the house responds by throwing a purple wave that painfully hits Dean and Castiel as it throws them away. Dean ends up hitting himself against the thick and hard trunk of an oak, while Castiel ends up hitting himself against a wooden bench the witch had in front of a garden of roses.

“Cas?!” Dean asks as he gets to his feet, ignoring the pain on his back.

“I’m fine,” Castiel says as he kicks away some of the destroyed wood. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Dean answers as he helps Cas to get on his feet. “I’ll get some bruises, but that’s all.”

“Me, too.”

Dean takes a deep breath and looks at the spiked fence. If they had remained in front of the door, the two of them would have been thrown to that fence and they would have been seriously injured.

“Six down, one to go,” Dean says as he holds Cas’ hand.

They walk back to the main door and mix the remaining ingredients. Once the mix is done, Dean paints the last symbol and after that, he and Castiel step away, placing themselves in the same spot as before.

Cas holds Dean’s hand and gives it a soft squeeze before he recites the Latin incantation.

This time the main door explodes, its pieces flying in every possible direction. Dean and Castiel duck to avoid getting hit by any of the pieces. When they think it is safe, they both look at the door, completely destroyed, and they see fifty snakes coming from inside the house and sliding themselves through the stairs.

“Holy fuck!” Dean says, terrified. He immediately grasps Cas’ hand.

“If we don’t move, they might not notice us,” Castiel whispers.

Dean is about to say something, but Castiel presses his index finger to his lips, telling him to remain quiet. Dean does so, but it is hard, because he hates snakes and there are a lot of them.

The snakes keep moving from the door to the fence, making a strange sound that Dean is sure normal snakes don’t do. They keep advancing, trying to find someone, but the moment they cross the fence, the snakes disappear, as if they had never existed.

Rooted to the place, Dean and Castiel watch as the last snake leaves the house and goes to the fence, waiting until it completely disappears.

“I hate this fucking witch,” Dean mutters.

“I know, Dean,” Castiel says as he makes soothing circles on the small of Dean’s back. “We should bring the remaining items back to the Impala and then grab what we need to destroy the relics.”

Dean looks at the house doubtful; he really doesn’t want to run into any snake that might have been left behind.

“I can gather all the stuff while you wait in the Impala,” Castiel says, sensing Dean’s fears. “I don’t mind.”

“What if a snake attacks you?” Dean asks, even more terrified.

“I have a gun.”

“Yeah, you do. But still, I’m going with you.”

Before Cas can say another word, Dean starts walking to the door, and Cas follows him immediately, given that Dean hasn’t let go of his hand.

They gather the bowl and all the bags that contained all the ingredients and bring them back to the Impala. Then, Dean opens the box covered with sigils and carefully picks the relic, still wrapped in a cloth. Castiel, meanwhile, grabs two hammers made of iron, salt and holy water, which he puts in a duffel bag that has two flashlights. Once Cas has those elements, Dean grabs a knife that they will use to cut Dean.

“Do we have everything?” Dean asks.

“We have everything,” Castiel says.

Dean nods and closes the trunk of the Impala. “Let’s rock and roll.”

They walk back to witch’s house. They stop in front of where the door used to be and each grabs a flashlight. Before stepping inside, they look at the place, watching for any unexpected surprise, but it seems that nothing else is waiting for them.

“Now we know if those spells worked or not,” Dean announces before the two of them step into the witch’s house.

They walk through the entrance and nothing attacks them. They aren’t set on fire, their eyes don’t start bleeding, their heads don’t explode, nothing hits them; it seems that they managed to break every single spell.

“Where do you think the relic might be?” Castiel asks as he takes a look around.

“Her bedroom,” Dean answers with certainty.

“Why are you so sure about that?”

“It’s where most people keep their most beloved stuff. The bedroom or a safe.”

Castiel nods and looks at the stairs. “Shall we?”

Dean smiles and he and Castiel begin to go upstairs.

The top floor has many bedrooms, so they decide to start with one that has big doors, but it turns out to be a huge bathroom covered in marble and gold.

“Maybe we could steal some gold,” Dean proposes.

Castiel scowls at him. “After what we have been through with this witch, I am quite sure that all that gold holds a terrible curse.”

“Fuck, you might be right.”

Still, it might have been nice to get some of that gold as a payback from all the shit the witch has made them go through.

They check the next room with big doors, and it seems to be the witch’s bedroom. The room is also build in marble and gold and the furniture in it seems modern and expensive. Even the sheets on the bed seem to be made of Egyptian cotton.

“I’ll look under the bed while you look in the closet,” Dean says.

Castiel nods and walks towards the closet while Dean takes a look under the bed. He expects to find something hidden underneath, but there is nothing. Frustrated, he starts to check on the drawers of the bedside table, but for now, he doesn’t find anything.

“Dean, I think I found it,” Castiel says.

Dean walks towards Cas, who is illuminating some of the jewelry in one of the drawers. There are many rings, bracelets and necklaces, but it is easy to spot the relic, because it looks exactly like the necklace they found in the tomb.

“Awesome job, Cas,” Dean says as he kisses Cas’ cheek.

Cas blushes. “Thank you.” Then, he grabs a cloth from the duffel bag and grabs the relic.

“Okay, we should go downstairs and get ready to destroy them.”

“Why do we need to go downstairs?” Castiel asks confused.

“Because I want to be near the closest exit in case things go really bad,” Dean answers, arching both eyebrows.

“Wise idea, Dean.”

Dean smiles and then they leave the bedroom. They walk down the stairs and they stop close to the entrance. They kneel onto the marble floor as they get the relics from the duffel bag as well as all the items they need for their destruction.

As Castiel covers both hammers with salt and holy oil, Dean begins to roll his sleeves up to his elbow and then he grabs the knife and begins to cut his forearm. He grunts as he cuts himself. Carefully, he drops his blood on both hammers, making sure that they are well covered.

“I think that’s enough, Dean,” Castiel says as he grabs some bandage to put on Dean’s cut. “Let me.”

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean says as Cas takes care of his wound.

Once Dean’s wound is tended, Dean rolls back his sleeve and Cas uncovers both relics.

They both take a deep breath before they grab the hammers.

“Ready?” Dean asks, looking at Cas.

“Give me your hand,” Castiel says. Dean looks at him with a confused face, but he gives him his hand and they lace their fingers. “I’m ready.”

“When I say three, we smash it, okay?”

“Okay.”

Dean exhales sharply and looks at the relic. “One, two, and three!”

The two of them smash each relic hard. The relics crack, but as they do so, something dark comes out of them, quickly covering the place in darkness. It happens so fast that neither Dean nor Castiel have any time to react. Soon they are thrown away, and their hands separate as the darkness swallows them.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close to the end! Anyway, thank you so much for reading and for all the amazing comments. And thank you for the kudos, the bookmarks and the subscriptions :')

When Dean opens his eyes, he finds himself lying onto the floor, surrounded by complete darkness and alone.

“Cas?!” Dean yells as he stands up and looks around, hoping to see something of Cas, but everything is covered in darkness. “CAS!”

He keeps yelling Cas’ name, but he obtains no answer.

Dean feels fear take over him. There are three reasons about why Cas isn’t answering. Number one is that Cas isn’t there. Number two is that Cas is still unconscious. And number three is that Cas is dead.

Number three is extremely scary, and Dean hopes he is wrong.

What he needs to do is find Cas, so he starts walking, but as he takes a few steps, he runs into a wall.

“What the hell?” Dean asks as he touches the wall.

Suddenly, the lights go on. Dean looks around, confused. There is no light source, and yet, it feels as if somebody switched on the lights. It feels as if he was in a room covered completely in black, and it was perfectly illuminated.

Dean looks around for a while before he turns around to touch the wall, studying it. Maybe if he kicks it, he will be free from wherever he is.

“You know that I will leave you one day, right?” Cas says behind him.

Dean turns around and sees Cas in front of him, looking at him with a serious face. Dean looks at him perplexed. Something is off about Cas, but he isn’t sure what.

“What did you say?” Dean asks, confused.

“I will leave you, Dean,” Castiel repeats, and his words make Dean’s heart ache. “We both know that. Whether it is because you hurt me or because I get tired of you is still unknown. Perhaps it is both of them, but given your tendency to ruin everything you touch, I’m quite sure it will be your fault. It is always your fault. That is why people leave you. You ruin us.”

Dean just stares at him, unable to say a single word. Why is Cas saying those things to him?

“You are broken,” Castiel proceeds. “You are poison. You are unlovable, Dean Winchester. You know that. You pretend that you might deserve love, but you don’t. You want to believe that after everything you have done, you still deserve me, that you still deserve my love, but you don’t.”

With glassy eyes, Dean looks at Cas’ eyes, and then he notices that there is something wrong in them. “You’re not my Cas.”

“I am.”

“No, you’re not,” Dean insists, more sure this time. This isn’t Cas; this is something different. “You’re something that the magic in the relics created.”

The fake Cas smiles wickedly and it looks so wrong on Castiel’s face. “Maybe I’m just possessing Castiel and forcing him to say what he really thinks about you.”

Dean clenches his jaw at that. As much as it hurts him, there is a chance that that might be what’s happening.

“I can see through both of you, Dean,” fake Castiel says. “And I know that he thinks you are worthless, that you are broken, that you are poison. I know that he will leave you eventually, because he is tired of dealing with your shit, because he deserves better than you. I know that he will never love you and that he—”

“Stop fucking lying!” Castiel yells as he smashes the hammer onto the fake Castiel’s head. The moment it happens, the fake Castiel turns into smoke and disappears into the darkness. The real Cas looks at it and then at Dean, who is sure he must look shocked and hurt. “Dean,” Castiel begins to say as he approaches Dean. “None of the words that thing said are true. I love you. I will always love you. And I will never leave you. And—”

Dean interrupts him by kissing him. Castiel makes a surprised noise at first, but then he is kissing Dean and holding him with his free hand.

When they pull away, Dean realizes he is crying.

“Dean,” Castiel starts.

“Are you alright?” Dean asks as he cups Cas’ face.

“I think so,” Castiel answers. “Dean, what that thing said—”

“I know,” Dean interrupts with a weak smile. “It wasn’t you.”

Cas nods and leans into Dean’s touch.

“Cas, for how long do you think this will last?”

Both Dean and Cas turn their heads and they find a fake Dean, looking at the two of them. The fake Dean gives a wicked smile, the same the fake Cas made before, twisting his face.

“You know I’ll get tired of you,” fake Dean continues saying. “You’re fucking useless. I don’t really want you in my life. I’m just putting up with you because you’re a good fuck.”

Without thinking it twice, Dean grabs the hammer from Cas’ hand and he throws it to his copy. The impact turns him into smoke and it disappears as it did with Cas’ copy.

Dean looks back to Cas, who looks shocked and Dean cups his face, forcing their eyes to meet.

“Those were all lies” Dean says.

“I know,” Castiel says with a weak and shaky smile.

“I love you, okay? I love you so fucking much.”

This time, Castiel’s smile is more honest. “I know, Dean.”

Dean smiles and steals a quick kiss before he goes back to grab the hammer. “Okay, before any of them decide to appear again, do you have any theory about where we are of what’s going on?”

“I believe those things are a manifestation of our fears,” Castiel supplies. “As for where we are, I am not sure.”

“I think we are still in the house.”

Castiel frowns. “Why do you think that?”

“Deep down I think you are stupid, Dean,” fake Castiel says. “That’s why I keep questioning everything you do and say.”

“Shut up,” Castiel growls as he smashes the hammer onto his copy. “Why do you think we are still in the house?”

“For starters, there’s a wall there,” Dean explains, pointing at the place. “I think that all this darkness is the black thing that came out of the relics. I think— I think that it’s trying to keep us trapped here.”

“We need to destroy it.”

“I hate how you always have to state the obvious,” fake Dean says.

“Go fuck yourself,” Dean says after grabbing the hammer and using it against his copy. “But the thing is, how do we destroy it?” he asks as he walks back to Cas, holding the hammer.

The two of them look at each other for a moment and then their eyes flick back to the hammer, still covered in salt, holy water and Dean’s blood.

“Do you think it’ll work if we try smashing the wall with the hammer?” Dean asks, feeling hopeful.

“I think it might. After all, this is what was inside the relics,” Castiel answers. “This darkness is what the relics were, only that in a different shape.”

“Alright, then. Let’s smash that wall.” 

“Do you know where your hammer is?” Castiel asks.

“No,” Dean answers, sadly. “When I woke up, I didn’t have it.”

“That’s because you’re dumb,” fake Cas says.

Castiel immediately takes the hammer from Dean’s hand and uses it against his copy.

“Let’s go to that wall,” Castiel says.

Dean holds his hand and the two of them walk towards the wall.

“Here,” Dean says, offering Cas the hammer. “You have a tendency of smashing doors and stuff like that.”

Castiel huffs.

“That’s the only thing you’re good at,” fake Dean says. “Destroying things. Without your grace you’re so fucking useless.”

“Let me borrow this for a second,” Dean says. Then, he makes his copy go away again. “I’m getting tired of these two assholes,” he mutters as he hands Cas the hammer.

Castiel hums in agreement and then he smashes the hammer against the wall. The moment he does do, the darkness around them trembles.

“Do it again, Cas,” Dean says.

Cas does as he is told and smashes the hammer against the wall, this time even harder, and the darkness around them shakes again. Their fake copies appear, ready to say something, but Cas hits the wall hard again and they go away. He keeps hitting the wall repeatedly, and the darkness trembles and makes the light go away.

Suddenly, the place starts moving and Dean and Castiel fall onto the floor. Something rattles in the distance and Dean sees that it is his hammer.

“Keep smashing it, Cas!” Dean says. “I’m going to get my hammer!”

“Be careful!” Castiel says as he tries to get on his feet with difficulty.

The room keeps shaking and Dean falls a few times onto the floor as he goes to get his hammer. He finally manages to take a hold on it, and then he goes back to Cas. The place shakes constantly as Cas keeps hammering the wall, and Dean ends up rolling onto the floor, only stopping when he hits himself against the wall.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean yells at the room.

“Let me,” Castiel says as he offers his free hand.

Dean takes it and stands up. “Thanks, Cas.”

Castiel simply smiles. He is about to smash the wall again, but Dean stops him.

“Wait,” Dean says. “We hit it at the same time, just like we did with the relics.”

“At three,” Castiel says. “One, two and three!”

The moment they hit the wall in unison, the darkness makes a screeching sound, but it doesn’t go away.

“Again!” Castiel yells.

They hit the wall at the same time and the sound becomes unbearable.

“Again!” Dean yells.

They hit the wall one more time and harder, but this time, the darkness makes a loud sound and throws Dean and Castiel away through the living room before the darkness falls from the ceiling and the walls, turning into goo before disappearing through the floor, only leaving some harmless scraps behind.

Dean hits himself against a tall clock. The impact makes the glass break and the pieces fall onto him, cutting part of his skin. Cas is thrown against a marble table, the same one the witch threw him the night they killed her. Once again, Cas hits his head against it and leaves a smudge of blood.

“Cas!” Dean yells as he runs as best as he can towards Cas, ignoring the cuts on his skin or the pain in his back and in his knee. He kneels in front of him and cups his face, ignoring some of the goo that has splashed both of them. “Cas!”

“I hate this table,” Castiel mumbles as he opens his eyes to look at Dean. “It’s an abomination.”

Dean laughs. He is so nervous but so relieved at the same time that he can’t help it. Cas is bleeding, but it is a tiny wound. Not as bad as the one he got the night they killed the witch.

“You’re hurt,” Castiel says as his fingers brush a deep cut on Dean’s temple.

“It’s not that bad,” Dean says, shrugging. “And your wound isn’t that bad either, but I’m gonna take care of it now, just in case.”

Castiel chuckles. “Just in case.”

Dean kisses him and then walks towards where the duffel bag is. He sees the place where the relics where and sees that all that remains of them is dust. He doesn’t pay any more attention to them as he grabs the duffel bag and walks back to Cas, who resting his back against the wall.

“Be thankful that you didn’t get any goo on your wound,” Dean says as he wipes Cas’ wound. “I’m sure that would’ve infected you.”

“Probably,” Castiel says. He lets out tired sigh. “We really should take a shower.”

“I agree.” He sighs as well and starts placing some butterfly stitches on Cas’ wound. “As soon as you’re healed, we’re driving back to the cabin.”

“I think we should drive to where the shield appeared, first. We need to make sure that we broke the spell.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Dean agrees. “Okay, you’re good to go. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

“What about your cuts?” Castiel asks.

“They’re not that bad. We’ll take care of them once we’re in a more sanitary place.”

Castiel chuckles.

They stand up and start walking towards the main door, but Dean is slightly limping. Castiel notices and he gets Dean’s arm around his shoulders, letting Dean use him as his crutch.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean says.

“How bad is it?” Castiel asks, looking at his knee.

“Not bad. It hurts from the impact, but that’s all. It isn’t broken.”

“We are going to the hospital after checking if the shield is gone,” Castiel says.

“We aren’t going to the hospital. My knee is fine. It’s not broken. All I need is some rest.”

“Dean,” Castiel insists, giving him a challenging look.

“Cas, if we go to the hospital, they’re gonna ask tons of questions, and right now, I just wanna check if that shield is gone and take a long shower with you.” After the long and awful night they’ve been through, Dean doesn’t want to spend the remaining of it in a hospital. “So, you’re gonna drive while I grab a beer from the mini fridge and place it on my knee.”

Castiel stops walking and looks at Dean. “You are going to let me drive the Impala?”

“Yeah,” Dean says, casually.

Castiel keeps staring at him. “The only time you let me drive the Impala was a few weeks ago, when we got from the hospital after your head injury. And that was because I insisted that you should rest and let me drive.”

“Yeah, well, there’s always a first. But you better treat my baby with care. If there is a single scratch on baby, I’m gonna be fucking pissed.”

Castiel keeps looking at him, still not believing that Dean is letting him drive the Impala. “I think we should go to the hospital,” he says as they start walking again. “I believe you have a concussion.”

Dean laughs. “No, my head is doing fine, I swear.”

When they reach the Impala, Dean gets into the passenger seat while Cas gets in the driver seat. Dean throws the duffel bag to the backseat while Cas gets him a beer to put on his knee. The moment Dean feels the coldness of it, he lets out a relieved sigh.

“Here,” Dean says as he hands him the key of the Impala.

Castiel starts the car and he drives away from the witch’s house, driving towards one of the roads that leaves Spokane.

Dean turns his face to look at Cas behind the wheel of his beloved car. This is the second time Cas is driving the Impala, and he looks so damn good behind the wheel. Dean should let him drive more often.

“You look fucking good while you drive baby,” Dean says. “I could get used to this sight.”

Castiel chuckles. “I still firmly believe that you have a concussion.”

Dean rolls his eyes but he chuckles, too. “As long as you drive it carefully, I won’t mind if you drive it again.”

“Thank you, Dean.”

Dean reaches for Cas’ hand and gives it a soft squeeze.

“We are approaching the place where the shield appears,” Castiel announces.

Dean nods.

Cas reduces the speed, aware that they are approaching the place they can’t go through. But this time, there is no purple shield blocking their way.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean says, laughing happily. “We did it! We fucking did it!”

“We did it!” Castiel exclaims happily, taking a quick look at Dean.

“Eyes on the road! Eyes on the road!” Dean exclaims as he feels the Impala going to the left.

“Sorry,” Castiel says, looking back at the road. “You made driving without looking at the road so easy. How is it possible that you never have an accident?”

“Years of experience,” Dean answers. “Okay, turn around right there and let’s go back to the cabin to get our deserved shower.”

***

“Done,” Castiel says after he has taken care of Dean’s most serious cuts.

“Great, thanks,” Dean says before pecking Cas’ lips. “While you put all that stuff back where it belongs, I’m gonna grab the laptop and call Sam and Eileen to let them know that everything is fine.”

“Okay.”

Castiel kisses Dean’s cheek before he stands up from the bed. He is done with his task when Dean opens Skype. He sits next to Dean and the two of them wait until Sam and Eileen answer.

“Hey, guys!” Eileen says.

“How did it go?” Sam asks.

“Good,” Dean answers. “We’re slightly injured and slightly covered in goo, but that’s all.”

“The purple shield is gone. We can finally leave Spokane,” Castiel supplies.

“Congratulations!” Eileen exclaims with a wide grin.

“Finally,” Sam says, letting out a relieved sigh.

“Yeah, fucking finally,” Dean agrees. It still feels surreal that they aren’t trapped in Spokane anymore. “We’re gonna spend the night here and tomorrow we’ll leave after breakfast, so we’ll be there in a couple of days.”

“We’ll be waiting for you,” Eileen says.

“Awesome. Now, if you don’t mind, we really need to take a shower and get rid of some of this nasty goo.”

“How did you end up with goo?” Sam asks, frowning.

“The relics,” Castiel answers simply.

Both Sam and Eileen keep giving them confusing stares, wanting them to elaborate more.

“We’ll tell you another day,” Dean says, feeling exhausted. “It’s kind of a long story.”

After that, they say goodbye to each other and then, Dean switches off the laptop while Cas sends a text to Claire, letting her and Kaia know that everything went well.

“Can we take our shower already, please?” Dean says as he watches how Cas leaves his phone on the bedside table.

“Yes,” Castiel says with a lovely smile.

Dean stands up from the bed and he and Cas walk towards the bathroom. They quickly take off their clothes, which really need to be washed, but they will take care of that task once they are in the bunker. Right now, what they need is to take a hot shower.

As the water runs down over their sore bodies, Dean lets out a pleased groan while Castiel sighs happily. As the water falls and runs down the drain, the water is died with dirt, goo and blood.

“I love showers,” Castiel announces in a murmur. He closes his eyes and tilts his head up, letting the water wash his face for a few seconds. “It is one of the things I most enjoy about being human. It is something so simple, and yet so pleasurable.”

Dean hums in agreement before he closes his eyes and places his face under the spray.

“You have several bruises,” Castiel says as his fingers skitter the purple marks blooming on Dean’s skin.

“You too,” Dean says, doing the same motion with his fingers on Cas’ skin. “But hey, I’d rather have bruises than broken bones.”

“Yes. They aren’t as inconvenient.”

Dean gets his hands on Cas’ hips and leans in close to kiss him slowly. Quickly, Cas’ hands come to rest on his shoulders as he presses the two of them closer. They keep kissing for a while, not letting any space in between their bodies, feeling how the hot water keeps running down their bodies, washing away the physical memories of the hunt.

Before the water turns cold, the two of them wash each other, and once they are completely clean, they step out of the shower and dry themselves. They don’t even bother to put on some clothes before they leave the bathroom.

As Dean starts walking away, his knee decides to throb in pain, and he can’t help but hiss.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” Castiel asks, worried.

“Just my knee,” Dean answers as he sits on the bed. As he does so, his knee stops hurting and he lets out a relieved sigh. He gingerly touches it, watching the purple and big bruise on it.

Castiel stands in front of him and makes an irritated sigh. “We should go to the hospital, Dean.”

“It’s just a bruise.” His knee isn’t swollen nor does it make a weird sound when he moves it. The only thing is that he has a huge bruise. “If it were broken or swollen, it’d hurt like hell, but it’s not that bad, I swear. But I’m afraid that it’s gonna be a long time before I can be on my knees to suck you off.”

Castiel huffs and rolls his eyes. “You’re unbelievable.”

Dean grins playfully and gets his hands on Cas’ hips, pulling him closer until he is standing in between his legs. “I can still blow you like this.” He presses a chaste kiss on the base of Cas’ dick. It earns him a soft moan from Cas, who brings both of his hands to Dean’s hair. “We can do other stuff, too.”

“What about your knee?” Cas asks, looking worried. He moves his hand until it brushes Dean’s cheek, and Dean leans into the touch. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Dean can’t help but smile, touched by Cas’ concern. “You’re so sweet.” He turns his face momentarily to kiss Cas’ palm and then he looks up until he meets Cas’ eyes. “I don’t think my knee will bother me if I lie on my back while you fuck me, or while you ride me. Either option is good.”

Castiel stares at him, considering both options. “Are you sure your knee won’t hurt if I fuck you?”

“No. And if it does, I’ll let you know.”

“Do you promise?”

Dean huffs. “I promise.”

“Good.”

“I’ve got some lube in my toiletry bag,” Dean announces. Castiel arches his brow at that. “I always carry it with me, just in case.”

Castiel simply smiles. “Okay, I’ll get it.”

“You can get it later,” Dean says, holding Cas’ tightly. “I still wanna blow you first, if that’s okay with you,” he adds as he suggestively licks his lips.

Castiel looks pleased at that and he gets both hands back on Dean’s hair. “That’s more than okay with me.”

Dean smirks. He immediately wraps his lips around Cas’ cock, making Cas groan delighted. Dean takes Cas’ length in his mouth, relaxing his jaw and hollowing his cheeks as he bobs his head. He can’t stop moaning around Cas’ cock, feeling how Cas gets hard under Dean’s persistence, as well as feeling how he is getting harder as he sucks the fallen angel.

“Dean,” Castiel moans as he presses his chin on his chest, taking a look at Dean.

There is both love and lust in Cas’ eyes, and it makes Dean’s fire burn brighter.

Before Dean completely pulls away, he lingers on the head of Cas’ cock for a few seconds before he pulls away. Castiel bends until his mouth can reach Dean’s and they kiss.

“Lie on the bed,” Castiel says with a deep voice that makes Dean feel something tingly run down his spine. “I’ll get the lube.”

“Awesome,” Dean says before stealing a quick kiss.

Carefully, he lies on the bed while Castiel searches for the lube. When he finds it, he leaves it on the bedside table and then he kneels in between Dean’s legs, being mindful of Dean’s bruised knee.

Cas leans down onto Dean, pressing their bodies together before they seal their lips. Dean sighs happily and gets his hand on Cas’ hair while the other traces down his spine. They tentatively roll their hips, searching some friction. Both of them groan and repeat the motion as they kiss again.

Eventually, Castiel starts to kiss Dean’s neck, and Dean arches his back as Cas drags his teeth on his pulse point. The noises he makes please Cas and he smirks against Dean’s tender skin.

Then Cas kisses his chest, paying attention to Dean’s nipples, aware of how sensitive he is. He takes his time, and it drives Dean crazy, who moans loudly over and over again as Cas’ persistent tongue works on him.

Cas cups Dean’s face and kisses him deeply. And when he pulls away, Dean chases his mouth again, not wanting to let go just yet. Cas moans delighted at this.

When they pull away, Cas slides his body down carefully and takes Dean’s cock in his mouth. He only sucks him for a small time, just a couple of bobs of his head, but it leaves Dean breathless. Then Cas moves to the inner of Dean’s thighs and leaves a few kisses there.

He then presses a brief kiss on Dean’s lips and then he grabs the lube.

“You know how this goes?” Dean asks with a rough voice. They have barely started and he already sounds wrecked.

Castiel gives him a sassy look as he drops a generous amount of lube on his hands. “Yes, Dean. I know the mechanics of homosexual sex.”

Dean scoffs. “Don’t need to get so defensive, sweetheart.” He takes the lube from the bed and he adds another generous amount of lube on his hand. Then, he wraps said hand around Cas’ cock and starts stroking. “Just wanted to know, in case I needed to give you some tips.”

Cas closes his eyes and makes little moans as Dean jerks him off for a few beats. When he is done, Dean pulls Cas down for a tender kiss.

After that, Cas easily slides his finger in Dean, who sighs at the feeling. Soon, a second finger joins in, and Dean grunts at the familiar sensation. Cas stretches him, adding a third finger along the way and later, a fourth one. It isn’t until then that Cas touches his prostate and Dean lets out a loud groan.

“C’mon, Cas, I’m ready,” Dean says, sounding desperate.

Castiel kisses him and pulls his hand away. With gentle hands, he strokes Dean’s thighs and Dean gets his legs around Cas’ waist.

“Is your knee okay?” Castiel asks.

Dean chuckles. Only Cas would be concerned about his knee right now. “Yeah, Cas, my knee’s good. Stop worrying and fuck me already.”

Castiel chuckles before pecking Dean’s lips. “You’re so eager.”

“I’ve been dreaming about doing this for a long time, so I’m entitled.”

Castiel simply hums in agreement.

He slides inside Dean, and the two of them groan at the feeling. Dean closes his eyes, focusing on the feeling of Cas filling him up. When Cas is fully inside, the two of them let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding. Dean opens his eyes and finds Cas staring at him, as intensely as always, with so much love in his eyes. It should scare Dean to see all that love, but it doesn’t. It should also scare him to be so exposed right now, letting Cas see how much he loves him, but it doesn’t scare him either. 

He leans and kisses Cas, deeply.

“Now it’s the time when you move, y’know?” Dean sasses.

“Like this?” Castiel teases as he rolls his hips hard.

Dean can’t help but moan. Having Cas inside him feels so damn good. 

“Fuck, Cas.”

He leans up to kiss Cas and the two of them start to rock their hips together, finding a perfect rhythm.

Dean takes one of Cas’ hands in his while Cas takes Dean’s other hand in his. They rest them on the pillow, on each side of Dean’s head. Dean pulls him closer, as Cas keeps driving back into him hard but at the same time it is sweet. Dean meets his thrusts in between with a roll of his hips, keeping up with Cas’ restless pace.

The headboard rattles with every single one of their thrusts. The two of them keep moaning each other’s names. Their hands remain locked together.

Castiel presses his forehead against Dean and they share a passionate kiss before they pull away. The speed of their thrusts increases as the heat inside them builds and builds. Dean keeps rolling his hips, matching the rocking of Cas’ hips, until Dean falls apart first, coming with a half moan and a half wail, spilling in between them. Cas follows him a few seconds later, coming with a whine, still fucking until the two of them are done with their releases.

Dean collapses onto the bed while Castiel collapses onto him, burying his face in Dean’s neck.

They don’t say a word while they pant, feeling happy and sated.

It doesn’t take Cas too long to move his face and greet Dean with a beautiful smile before he cups his face and kisses him tenderly. Dean cups Cas’ face as well and then he stretches his sore legs on the mattress.

“Was that as good as what you dreamt?” Castiel asks sassily.

“Much better,” Dean answers with a huge grin.

Castiel laughs softly and they kiss again. When they pull away, they look at each other as their hands caress each other’s faces.

“I love you,” Castiel says.

“I love you, too,” Dean says before kissing Cas again.

“You look really happy,” Castiel comments after their kiss.

“That’s ‘cause I am,” Dean confesses with a wider smile. “The night has been hard for both of us, but we just had mind-blowing sex and we love each other. I couldn’t ask for more. So yeah, I’m fucking happy.”

Castiel smiles. “I’m fucking happy as well.”

“I love it when you curse.”

Castiel huffs. “Of course you do.”

Dean kisses him again. He really loves kissing Cas. “Hey, how about you get some wipes, we clean each other, and then we get some sleep? Tomorrow we’ve got a long journey ahead of us.”

“We can still sleep until late,” Castiel says as he gets up, walking towards where he left Dean’s toiletry bag. “There is no rush.”

Dean chuckles. “You lazy ass.”

“We both need rest,” Castiel points out as he looks at Dean’s knee.

“I can’t argue with that.”

Once Castiel has the wipes, he goes back to bed and the two of them clean each other gently. And when they are done, they get under the sheets, switch off the lights and hold each other.

“Night, sweetheart.”

“Goodnight, beloved.”

They share one last kiss before they close their eyes and surrender to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't beleive I'm posting the last chapter of my fic the same day as the day SPN is filming its last episode. Holy shit.

When Dean wakes up, he notices that he and Cas are lying on their sides, facing each other and holding each other.

Slowly, Dean opens his eyes and sees Cas’ peaceful and sleepy face. Dean smiles and he pecks his lips, not wanting to wake him up yet. Dean sighs happily and closes his eyes, bringing himself even closer to Cas. He lazily moves his hand on Cas’ hip, caressing his skin.

Even though he has his eyes closed, he doesn’t go back to sleep. He is well rested and doesn’t need any more sleep. So he lingers there with Cas, feeling safe, warm and cozy, waiting for his lover to wake up eventually, enjoying the feeling of being together in bed.

After a while, Dean hears Cas making a low and tiny groan. He opens his eyes and he sees Cas’ brows knitted together, clearly showing his despise for mornings.

It makes Dean grin.

“Morning, sunshine,” Dean says.

Castiel grunts and he buries his face in the crook of Dean’s neck. He also tightens his grip around Dean’s shoulders, keeping Dean in place.

Dean finds himself chuckling. For someone who can’t wake up without coffee first, Cas has an iron grip on him.

“I wasn’t gonna leave bed yet,” Dean comments, looking amused at Cas before pressing a kiss on his hair.

“I didn’t want to take any risks,” Castiel mumbles against Dean’s skin. “You seem to have a tendency of getting up sooner than I wish to.”

“I think I can be persuaded into lingering in bed as long as you’re here with me. Especially if we’re both naked.”

Castiel huffs while Dean grins.

“I’d be even more persuaded to stay here for longer if we fucked,” Dean adds with a smirk. His fingers start brushing Cas’ back, and the former angel lets out a content sigh. “Maybe I could fuck you this time.”

Castiel hums, pleased. “That sounds really good. But you’re going to have to wait until I’m a little bit more awake.”

“Of course,” Dean says with a happy smile.

Castiel kisses Dean’s neck and then he nuzzles the same spot. “How’s your knee?”

“Much better. It doesn’t hurt me at all. But I think I have a big bruise. How’s your head?”

“It’s good.”

“Can I see your wound?”

Castiel nods and pulls away. He tilts his head to his side, letting Dean see the injury. The wound is closed, but Cas is going to have to wait a few days until Dean can remove the stiches.

“How does it look?” Castiel asks after opening his beautiful blue eyes.

“You’ll live,” Dean says.

Castiel huffs and rolls back to his side so he and Dean can kiss. They keep kissing for a while, lazily but tenderly, taking their time with each other, tangling their legs and pressing their bodies closer.

“I believe I’m definitely awake now,” Castiel murmurs in between kisses.

Dean chuckles and he kisses him again. He rolls Cas onto his back, deepening the kiss as he settles on top of Cas. The fallen angel groans and gets his arms around Dean’s back, pressing him closer.

There is a moment when Dean pulls away from their kisses and he looks at Cas, taking a moment to appreciate the beautiful sight of Cas under him, looking happy and in love. Dean is hit with overwhelming feelings that leave him speechless.

A month ago, that would have scared him, but it doesn’t anymore.

Cas smiles at him as he threads his fingers on Dean’s hair and he just looks at him, with that intensity of his that makes Dean believe that maybe there is something in him that is worth loving.

Dean returns Cas’ smile and kisses his lips one more time before he starts pressing several kisses on Cas’ jaw and neck, working his way down, lingering on his nipples for a while, sucking a few marks above his hipbones. Cas arches his back and tilts his head up, moaning Dean’s name.

Dean goes back to kiss Cas’ lips as he blindly searches for his toiletry bag, which Cas left on the bedside table. He tries to get the lube without pulling away from Cas’ wonderful lips, but he isn’t successful.

He pulls away and focuses on finding the lube. Cas huffs and starts kissing Dean’s neck, which only manages to distract Dean, who doesn’t complain at all.

Finally, Dean gets the lube and he throws the toiletry bag onto the floor before he gets his mouth on Cas’. As they kiss he adds lube to both his fingers and his cock. Then, he slips his first finger inside Cas, who hums pleased at the feeling.

Dean opens him slowly as they kiss, savoring every sound Cas makes. By the time Dean has four fingers in, Cas is eagerly rocking against Dean’s hand as his own hands caress Dean’s chest, fingers pressing against his nipples, wanting to make Dean enjoy this even more.

Before Dean pulls his fingers away, they share a passionate kiss. Then, Cas gets both of his legs around Dean’s waist and Dean pushes inside him, making the two of them groan at the sensation. Dean can’t help but close his eyes as he moans. Cas feels so damn good around him.

Cas kisses him sweetly as his hands search for Dean’s. They lace their fingers together and Dean starts moving, making the two of them moan loudly.

Their rhythm is slow but intense this time. It is early and neither of them is up for something fast, but their movements are steady, taking each other apart.

Dean keeps thrusting in and out of Cas, and Cas meets every one of his thrusts with a steady roll of his hips. Dean moves slightly, finding the perfect angle, and Cas lets out another loud moan with Dean’s name in it. He tightens his legs around Dean, making him lose balance for a moment, and they share a heated kiss.

Slowly, the pace of their rhythm increases. They look at each other, loving the expressions on their faces, the flush on their chests, the view of their parted lips and the way their eyes look as they keep making love.

Dean has had sex with multiple people, but it never felt the way it feels with Cas. There is love with Cas. There is no need to bring any type of skills to bed, because all they want is to be with each other, to feel joined. And in Dean’s opinion, it is a fucking awesome feeling. 

Dean’s thrusts become a little bit harder as he feels himself getting closer to the edge. He knows Cas is close too; he can feel Cas’ cock twitching and the way his movements are as desperate as Dean’s.

He starts kissing Cas’ face and it only takes Cas a few seconds to fall apart, coming with a half moan and half whimper. That feeling and the sound of it makes Dean come just a few seconds later. He falls apart, wailing and groaning against Cas’ jaw. They both ride out until their releases are done, and then they collapse together.

They are quiet for a while, until Cas lets out a quiet and pleased moan that makes Dean chuckle. He chases Cas’ mouth until they kiss. He cradles Cas’ face in his hands as Cas’ fingers run through his hair.

“I love you,” Dean says in between kisses. “I love you so much.”

“I love you so much, too, Dean,” Castiel says before kissing Dean again.

***

After taking a shower, Dean and Cas decide to put the sheets in the washing machine. There’s some lube and come in them, and they don’t want Jody to deal with that. Dean decides to use a short program to wash them, hoping that they will have time to place them in the drier before they leave. After all, they still need to have breakfast and pack their stuff.

By the time Dean walks to the kitchen, Cas is already pouring coffee into two mugs. He hands one to Dean, who thanks him and kisses him before taking a sip. Then, Dean goes to the fridge, to see what he can make for breakfast. He sees that there are enough ingredients to make pancakes with bacon, so he settles for that.

“Pancakes?” Castiel asks, sounding delighted.

Dean hums. “And bacon. There’s also some fruit left in the fridge if you wanna add something healthy.”

Castiel smiles as he walks towards the fridge and he gets every single piece of fruit.

As Dean prepares the batter for the pancakes, he hums a song and slightly shakes his hips. Castiel notices it and looks at Dean with a curious stare.

“What?” Dean asks.

“You look happy,” Castiel answers with an honest smile. “I like seeing you happy.”

Dean blushes and huffs. “You sap.” Then, he looks at Cas, who also seems to be as happy as Dean. He walks towards the former angel and he presses a lingering kiss on his cheek. “It’s good to see you happy, too.”

Castiel smiles before stealing a quick kiss from Dean’s lips.

They both smile when they pull away and then, they go back to their tasks.

It doesn’t take them too long to make breakfast and soon they are sitting around the table, enjoying the tasty food. By the time they finish, the washing machine starts beeping, announcing that it has finished washing the sheets. Dean walks to the tiny laundry room while Cas remains in the kitchen, washing the dishes. Once again, Dean sticks to a short program with the drier; he is pretty sure the sheets will be dry before they leave the cabin.

When he goes back to the kitchen, Cas is almost finished washing the dishes, and Dean starts drying them. Once they are done, they brush their teeth and then, they go to the bedroom to pack all their stuff.

“I’m gonna miss this cabin,” Dean announces as he places his clothes on top of the bed.

“Me, too,” Castiel agrees as he carefully folds his clothes. “It is a lovely place.”

Dean looks around the bedroom. They have spent two weeks in this place. As much as he hated being trapped in Spokane, in the end, he didn’t mind having to spend all that time in this cabin with Cas.

“We really need to buy Jody a gift or something,” Dean says. “Remind me that the next time we’re headed to Sioux Falls to pay her a visit.”

“I will,” Castiel promises.

They keep packing their clothes and belongings. When they have finished, the drier is still on, so they retire to the living room and sit on the couch. Dean sends a text to let Sam know that they will head out in thirty minutes, and his brother answers him with a thumbs-up emoji.

“Do we have everything packed?” Dean asks after he has put his phone back into his pocket.

“Yes,” Castiel answers. “But we still need to get some of the remaining food in the fridge and the cupboards.”

“We’ll do that after the drier is off.” He looks around, taking one last look at the cabin. “You know, despite all the shit the witch put us through, we really did have a great time here.”

Castiel chuckles. “We certainly did. Especially these past few days.”

“Yeah, those have been awesome.” He leans into Cas and they kiss briefly. When they pull away, they smile at each other. “I can’t believe we’re finally able to leave Spokane anytime we want.” He chuckles in disbelief as he leans onto the backrest of the couch. “And you know what the best part is?”

“What?” Castiel asks as he turns his face to look at Dean.

Dean smirks. “That I was right all along. I told you that we had to destroy several items in order to get rid of the shield.”

Castiel snorts and rolls his eyes. “I was wondering how long it was going to take you until you remembered that.”

“I bet you thought I was gonna forget about it.”

“No. I knew you were going to remember it sooner or later. You like being right and showing off.”

“Damn right I do.”

Once again, Castiel rolls his eyes, but he also manages to make a tiny smile.

The drier stops, and both Dean and Castiel head towards it to get the sheets and fold them together. They place them in the closet afterwards, and then, they get their duffel bags to the Impala’s trunk. The last thing they get is the remaining food in the kitchen, and when that’s done, Dean closes the cabin and Castiel hides the key in the pot.

Dean offers Cas a wipe to clean his hand and Castiel thanks him with a peck on the corner of his mouth. Once his hand is clean, the two of them walk towards the Impala and get in it.

Dean starts the car and the two of them take one last look to the cabin before they set their eyes on the road.

Before leaving Spokane, Dean drives to the closest gas station and refuels baby while Cas buys some snacks for their long journey back home. Once Dean has paid for the gas, he drives the Impala out of Spokane.

They quickly reach the spot where the purple shield used to appear, but there is nothing there anymore. Dean and Castiel look at each other with a smile. Part of them still feared that the shield was going to appear again, but thankfully, they both were wrong.

“Put on some music, Cas,” Dean says.

From his pocket, Cas grabs a tape, and Dean recognizes that it is the mixtape he made to Cas.

“You still got it?” Dean asks, surprised.

“Of course. I always carry it with me,” Castiel answers as he presses play.

Dean looks away from the road to look at Cas. “Fuck, I love you.”

Castiel grins. “I love you, too.”

“Come here,” Dean says as he spreads his right arm.

Cas takes his invitation and he snuggles against Dean’s side. Dean rests his hand on Cas’ shoulder and then he briefly kisses Cas’ head. Cas, meanwhile, places his hand on Dean’s nape and his fingers brush his hair.

“I hope this won’t distract you,” Castiel says.

“Sweetheart, I’m a hell of a driver,” Dean assures.

Castiel huffs and kisses Dean’s neck. “I know.”

Dean simply smiles and tightens his grip on Cas as he drives them back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't begin to say how grateful and happy I am about all the amazing responses I got over the months because of this fic. When I started writing it, I just wanted to write something that wasn't too angsty, because with all the covid and stuff, things weren't looking great and I needed something to distract myself. I'm happy that you guys found some joy in this. Thank you so damn much to every one of you who read, and to all of those who left me all the wonderful comments that made my day a million times better. Thank you all for everything :')


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